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in-law wedding drama DD
Somehow I knew. Maybe I hit a nerve. 
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03-24-2011 at 2:08 PM | ||
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Shrieking harpy loves dinners by candlelight, long walks on the beach, and cuddling. Seeking metrosexual male for a lifetime of henpecking and opera-going. No football fans or lumberjacks. Serious replies only. | ||
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03-24-2011 at 2:12 PM | ||
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renegade gaucho:|
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03-24-2011 at 2:19 PM | ||
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Shrieking harpy loves dinners by candlelight, long walks on the beach, and cuddling. Seeking metrosexual male for a lifetime of henpecking and opera-going. No football fans or lumberjacks. Serious replies only. | ||
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03-24-2011 at 2:22 PM | ||
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 I miss Hawaii  | ||
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03-24-2011 at 2:25 PM | ||
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Make no enemies accidentally. | ||
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03-24-2011 at 2:25 PM | ||
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"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~Benjamin Franklin
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03-24-2011 at 2:37 PM | ||
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03-24-2011 at 2:42 PM | ||
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Re: in-law wedding drama DD
I wonder what the other people who also had conflicts w/ that date are doing. Are they dropping everything too, or is anyone saying "Oh, well, that sucks. If you'd checked w/ us before picking the date, we could have let you know we won't be able to be there. we're so sorry we'll miss your wedding."?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My husband would have absolutely no idea when my cousin was planning to get married. He may know someone was engaged, but I basically keep the calendar. I get that it isn't as fun to go to a wedding without your spouse (or a date), but it really isn't the end of the world to each go to a different wedding.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I can see that. Maybe I wasn't getting my point across in my post (which seems a little nasty), but I agree. I don't understand why there was any drama with this to begin with given the fact that they knew about the cousin's wedding in advance (over a year?) and given how they know the SIL to be.
By her use of the word "bound" I have a feeling that no one feels free to make decisions for themselves in this family.
But at the same time, she also talks of some expectations that SHE is assigning to this. That the sister should have cleared the date w/ them, or their VERY self-inflicted expectation that now that they are newlywed's, they need to be together.
She also mentions "keeping the peace", but yet there is NO mention of whether or not they've actually told his family about this conflict and what their reaction is.
I'm sure there is some level of expectation from his family that he has to be there, but I really do wonder if his family would really be all that upset that she wasn't there. Are her IL's irrational enough that if she/DH told them about their previous committment, would they really be pissed, or would they say "oh, my, that does suck! We'll miss you Obeach."?
I do feel there is an assumption on her part that HER attendance is critical, when in reality, it may not be.
Heck, BIL's very long term GF didn't come to our wedding. And it was actually a pretty last minute reason, but I actually didn't care. I understood that she had to take this job (she is a fashion stylist and Bon Jovi wanted her for a photo shoot. Knowing their finances, they NEEDED the money!!). Knowing my SIL, on her end, I could absolutely see her thinking "My IL's and ECB are going to flip out that I can't come", but really.... of all the people we invited and all the people I wanted to see, she really wasn't all that important. It wasn't a big deal that she wasn't there.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Did people really consult family members for good and bad dates for their wedding?
As I recall, I was juggling our reception site with the church's availablity. I didn't have anyone else's calendar in front of us. Did people really coordinate with extended family members?
When I was planning my wedding with ex-FI, the only people I consulted were my immediate family. I pretty much had to take the only available date the venue had for the year or wait an additional 6 months into the following year. It also had to be coordinated with the church's availability.
Definitely agree ECB.
I did (mostly with immediate family) because I had people coming from another country. It was important to me that my close family be there. So yeah, I kind of understand it, but not in this case.
I didn't. But then again, I planned our wedding a year in advance. Maybe it is different when it is just a matter of months. Actually, I take that back. I wouldn't consult extended family - just parents/siblings. And if my brother (who I am not close to) had a wife who had a cousin who was getting married that day, it would not have changed my mind on the date.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
It's not as big of a deal to go dateless if it's a family wedding though. At least not to me. If I was in her shoes, I'd go to my cousin's wedding while he goes to his sister's. I'd have my family to have fun and hang out with. Being a newlywed I can understand you wanting to stick togehter, BUT, you've gotta pick your battles.