I hope I am not second

crystaljkbj · March 2011

I didn't want to post this here for fear of being judged to harshly...but since someone else broke the ice I will share. Me and DH have had some very rough patches lately. Things seem to be getting worse and worse. I really hope we can work it out both for the kids and us. We start marriage counseling Monday. It is really hard since most new parents I know say that the baby brought them closer together. We never had any problems before and lived together for a couple of years before we got married. We have allowed our selves to drift further and further apart in the last 6 months. I am praying that marriage counseling helps and this is just a bump in the road we are going to get over.

skyjo- Thanks for not saying anything on here even though you knew from our October 2010 board.

rayne779 · March 2011

I am so sorry to hear that you and DH are going through a tough time. Good for you for seeing a counselor and trying to work through it. You will be in my T&P's.

eeeeva · March 2011

I'm sorry to hear it too. Nothing is every perfect in any relationship. Eric and I have been together for almost 8 years and not every day has been sunshine and roses. We've had our ups and downs and have landed on our feet. I hope you and your DH the best. And know that you can talk here too.

abarber340 · March 2011

I'm very sorry to hear this. Good luck with the counseling and I hope that that can help you work through your problems. Like eeeva and her H, Kyle and I have been together for a very long time and we've definitely hit some rough patches (we broke up four times early on while we were dating). I'll keep you in my T&Ps.

ring_pop · March 2011

I'm sorry you're going through this but bravo to you guys for taking the step of going through counseling.

Honestly, although a lot of people say that kids brought them closer, a lot of people have found it a challenge for the marriage, I'm sure. There's no shame in saying that it's been hard.

Best of luck to you guys, and keep us posted if you feel comfortable.

Bailey17 · March 2011

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I think it's great you both recognized what was going on and are taking the steps to try to work it out.

If you need anything we're here for you. Good luck with everything.

NeptoonGrl1 · March 2011

I'm sorry to hear that you and DH are having problems, but I think it's great that you are opting to try counseling first. Feel free to talk about whatever you need to here.

kaesha · March 2011

I agree, if it makes you feel any better, a lot of my friends have been the opposite - babies have made that 1st year really hard! There's no shame in that - the experience is what it is, you know?

Lots of love and support and vibes.

LesPaul · March 2011

So sorry to hear this, but counseling is a good idea. I think we've all had some rough patches by now. T&P to you and H, and family.

cortneyloo · March 2011

I don't know if you saw my comment on chicha's post, but my DH and I hit a rough patch too and sincerely thought about ending things. We've been together since middle school so it was a very inconceivably difficult time, but we made it through and we're stronger now than I think we've ever been. Counseling is a great idea, and don't be afraid or ashamed to vent to us if you need to

rebaann · March 2011

I am so sorry that things are rough right now. I hope the counselor will help you work through things and reach a place that is best for you both, wherever that may be.

starsailorr26 · March 2011

I'm so sorry you're going through this rough patch. I hope the counseling will help you deal with the issues so that you can work through things and move forward with your marriage. Good luck to you. We're here if you need to vent, chat or support.

aryl · March 2011

I am sorry that you are going through this. My thoughts are with you. Things have been rough with DH and I too. Everybody says the first year is hard...I think that they lied. ((Hugs))

chicha0719 · March 2011

Good luck!

I sincerely hope you are not second. It's not fun at all.

katsblaze · March 2011

Sorry that you are having troubles, but I agree with everyone else. Counseling is a great first step.

I agree that having a baby doesn't always bring you closer. It puts a strain on anyone's relationship. It is life changing. I hope that everything does work out for you.

We are always here to listen.

Leo713 · March 2011

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but like others said, good for you for taking the step to go to counseling. We're here for you if you need, and I sincerely hope everything works out for the best for you.

SusiOT · March 2011

I'm sorry you're going through this, but ditto everyone else--the two of you recognizing the tough times and doing something active to work through it together is a wonderful step. Josh and I are in counseling to decide whether or not to have a kid, but I feel like the counseling has already added another way of thinking and talking to each other. It has been very beneficial.

Remember that we're here to listen, too. I wish you and your H nothing but the best.

snoopy3319 · March 2011

I'm glad to hear you are giving counseling a chance before making any decisions. It is super helpful. I think many marriages have their rough times, and it's the way you choose to deal with them that will make or break you. We're always here if you need support.

charity5115 · March 2011

I think that going to counseling is a huge step in the right direction. I don't know about the kids thing personally but I have friends who have said that they are going through what you are right now as well. Good luck to you!

stephkay · March 2011

So sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you're getting some counseling.

I can say that having a baby has totally changed our lives. It's definitely not easy. Just want you to know I can relate and please don't feel like you're the only one.

I hope I am not second

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