August 2009 Weddings
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
opinion please
Am I over reacting? A friend of mine is in the middle of a nasty custody battle with his ex, and said that he hopes God gives her what's coming to her. I told them that I'm not sure that's how God works, look at what's been going on in my life. He says, well that's what you get for messing with God's plan, really Em it's time for you to get over it, they're gone, and never coming back. Now you know better.
I am so incredibly angry and hurt I don't even know where to start. Am I over reacting?
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Re: opinion please
Wow. What an incredibly harsh and insensitive thing to say. I get he's going through a difficult time, but that's no excuse.
You are not overreacting at all, and have every right to be angry.
There is no golden time limit on grief and mourning. You get to be as sad or as angry as you want for as long as you want. You are not overreacting.
Like Sikes said, sounds like he's in a bad place with the custody battle, but that doesn't excuse his behavior toward you and his imposing an artificial time limit on your grief. I hope he cools down, realizes what he's done and apologizes quickly. That's the kind of comment that could damage a friendship.You have every right to be upset over that. There is no "getting over" what happend to you. If anything you will eventually be at peace. Like S2BMS said, I'm sure he said it because he is in a bad place. Know one knows what it feels like unless you have lived it. I can't even imagine both the physical and emotional pain you are going through.
Big hugs, and I'm hoping my special delivery is enjoyable for you and DH tomorrow!
god, I'd be so spiteful.... I'd tell them I hope he loses his custody battle just so he has an inkling of the feeling of what it's like to lose your babies and can feel a smidge of the sadness you've had to endure...
I do agree with sykes, that in his most insensitive way he's probably just upset that you are still dealing with this and wants you to return to your normal/positive/happy self, but it's not his place to create a timeline for your grief. I vote throat punch.
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
I'm most upset that he said "Now I know better"
I want to be like know better about what? What a horrible friend you are.
NO your are not overreacting.
I seriously think about you everyday. You have handled everything you have been through way better than I would I am sure. I can not Imagine loosing a child and having to go on with life. You are seriously the strongest person I know and I wish I could have half of your strenght. That was a harsh and unrealistic thing for your friend to say. I hope you never feel like you can't grief and hurt for your babies and yourself. I am so sorry. I understand he is going through a difficult time, but I still want to hit him where the sun doesn't shine. Sorry!
Wait, is he implying you got what you deserved?! If so, I'd say definite throat punch and a kick to the nads. WhoTF says that?!
No I don't think you're overreacting over what he said. It's a horrible comment.
The thing is, everyone has their own opinions and thoughts about how God works or how God is supposed to work, and it's one of those things where it's usually hard to change people's minds. If he wanted to hope that God would give his ex "what's coming to her", I'm not sure that there was much point in trying to educate him on what God may or may not do.
I do think his comment was really assinine and I'd defriend in your shoes.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
What a terrible excuse for a friend. That's awful.
And to imply that you're getting what you deserve or that God is punishing you? Jesus. That's just ridiculous.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
Thanks ladies, I've decided to let it go for now. With everything else going on, I don't need to worry about him. So I'm just going to ignore him and when he tries to call I hope he gets used to hearing my voicemail.
Yay! Enjoy the drugs and couch time!
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
Exactly this.