May 2008 Weddings
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Can I vent?!?! (PG related)

These are just a handful of comments I've received over the last few weeks and I am at my wit's end and holding back tears at work because the last just came a few minutes ago.

Coworker #1 - I was going to ask if you were pregnant because I could tell you've been putting on weight.

Coworker #2 - Wow, that baby sure is getting big in there *points to belly*

Mom - You're at that stage now where you just look like you've put on weight instead of being pregnant.

Coworker #3 - *While I was eating strawberries* - You can't take her anywhere, the way she is always eating!

Coworker #1 (again) - You better not gain a lot of weight or Coworker #3 will be all over you.

Coworker #1 (AGAIN!) - I see your big belly there. I replied "Yep, overnight it seemed to have popped." She said "You are going to have a huge baby." and I replied "Well, I hope not." and she said "Well, you are."

These are seriously all within the last week or two, because I've started really showing. I've always been sensitive about my weight, I lost about 45 lbs before getting KU but gained about 6 or 7 back after going off BCP and have of course gained since being pregnant. My doctor says we're both on track, that I do need to watch my weight a little more just because I started off overweight but she isn't concerned...And none of this is any of their business. I am just sad. :(

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Re: Can I vent?!?! (PG related)

  • Thats absolutely unacceptable. How rude. Im sorry your coworkers suck!!
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  • I know that is tough...people seem to have no filter when it comes to pregnancy and don't understand how hurtful the comments can be even when they're trying to not be hurtful.

    I think pregnancy makes people uncomfortable for some reason so they say things like that.

    Since I had polyhydramnios EVERYONE kept saying that I was having a huuuge baby and there was no way I was going to make it 40 weeks and how much bigger could my belly get.  It just got old and tiring talking about it. 

    Especially co-worker #1 next time she has a stupid comment I'd just say actually the doctor says we're both on track with weight and doing well.

  • I'm sorry hun. Some people just have no sense at all.

    I guess I was lucky.  I was unemployed all during my pregnancy so I didn't have to worry about co-irkers commenting on any weight gain.  In general, I just rarely saw anyone, so I didn't have people commenting at all.  

    People that saw me, but didn't know may have just thought I was gaining weight.  


    Eventually, I'd say something to them.  Not sure exactly what, but I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue over the next 20 weeks.  

  • Thanks...I thought I had prepared myself for the rude comments but they are bothering me more than I expected. Stupid hormones. :( lol.
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  • Your coworkers sound like b*tches.  Those comments are really unacceptable in my eyes.  Sorry you have to deal with that!
  • I have two other coworkers who have been very nice and supportive and I complain about rude pregnancy comments to them and in front of #1!! Not her comments specifically, but I'll say "It's so rude when someone says ___." in front of her so she knows it's unacceptable. One of my nice coworkers was around for most of the comments and her jaw just drops every time. Her daugther is pregnant and due around as me and coworker #1 asked her how much weight her daugther has gained so far. WTF?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • i know how upsetting that can be. i got a lot of those comments as well, even though i didnt even gain 30lbs my entire pregnancy. i just carried it ALL in my belly, so it looked large. i remember shopping with my husband like at 5 or 6 months pg and people being like "omg, you're ready to pop! are you like just ready to have that big baby!?"

    also, i was getting blood drawn once...maybe at like 26 or 28 weeks and the girl goes "how many babies are in there!?!" i seriously cried. it is upsetting.

    people are idiots.

    image June 2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • So sorry you are having to deal with people's stupid remarks.  One of my co-workers got fed up and finally just starting telling rude people that her pregnancy was none of their business.  It didn't take long for them to back off and leave her alone.
  • imageD&J_052408:
    So sorry you are having to deal with people's stupid remarks.  One of my co-workers got fed up and finally just starting telling rude people that her pregnancy was none of their business.  It didn't take long for them to back off and leave her alone.

    I'm almost there. Today at lunch someone said "You're going to get testy towards the end, aren't you?" and I said "I already am. I am going to tell people if you can't tell me I look great, then just don't talk to me at all." I said that to all of my lunch-mates but that included some of those co-irkers. I hope they got the hint.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • First let me say I'm so sorry, I'm getting the same type of comments. It's really hard not to take them personally when it's something you're already worried about.

    If you want them to stop you can't be passive agressive, you need to respond directly to the person when they're making the comment. I wouldn't even bother with saying that you're on track, etc. I would just ask her why she thinks it is apropriate for her to comment on your body and tell her that it's none of her business. I know it's easier said than done but obviously these people feel like they can belittle you and not have any recourse so you need to be direct with them, 

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  • People are ridiculous.

    I've tried to be really careful what I say to my co-worker who is pregnant because I know that sometimes even just comments about how big the bump is - which I see as a good thing because it's so cute on her - can be hurtful, so I just try to tell her she looks great.

    I did read a blog once where a friend of mine who was pregnant was venting about people who ask "How are you feeling?" and I thought..I think I say that to pregnant friends of mine all the time...so then I felt awkward. I think I just don't know what to say to pregnant ladies anymore. 

  • imageAnne1387:

    People are ridiculous.

    I've tried to be really careful what I say to my co-worker who is pregnant because I know that sometimes even just comments about how big the bump is - which I see as a good thing because it's so cute on her - can be hurtful, so I just try to tell her she looks great.

    I did read a blog once where a friend of mine who was pregnant was venting about people who ask "How are you feeling?" and I thought..I think I say that to pregnant friends of mine all the time...so then I felt awkward. I think I just don't know what to say to pregnant ladies anymore. 

    The "How are you feeling?" question doesn't bother me...to me, it's one of those neutral things you can ask to show you care and it's certainly not commenting on weight. lol.

    I never thought I'd be so sensitive, but you're right, sometimes even saying "oh your bump is so big!" when I know they don't mean it to be mean, I sometimes take it the wrong way...especially depending on who is saying it and what their tone is. The comments I appreciate are "You look great." or asking questions about the baby itself, like names and if we know the gender...Those to me express interest without being rude.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageAKBrideinMD:
    Thanks...I thought I had prepared myself for the rude comments but they are bothering me more than I expected. Stupid hormones. :( lol.

    I was going to comment that it's something you just need to expect and know is coming.. Since I've never been prego, I can't imagine the hormones/emotions tied to hearing this.  :(  You should say something about how rude it is to point things like that out.  I said something once to my supervisor and she commented and I apologized and never commented on her belly ever again.  Open mouth insert foot type moment.

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  • Indifferent I've been feeling pretty violent lately. Want me to come throat punch some people for you???
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  • imageBMWwife:
    Indifferent I've been feeling pretty violent lately. Want me to come throat punch some people for you???

    Yes, please! 

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