Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
worst nightmare come true
Let me preface this by saying that I am a "live and let live" type of gal, who thinks that extremes in all things are generally not the best choice. Very Aristotle's golden mean, yes?
Well, as I've said before, MIL is a pretty typical religious right type of republican. She's basically said and believed and prescribes to all of the most negative stuff republicans have said about Obama, from "He doesn't even have an American name" to "He has socialist policies" to "He might be the anti-Christ". Being the relatively moderate person that I am, I find these things quite upsetting but have managed to keep a very objective stance whenever she brings up the presidential election. Not that I am ashamed of my vote, but I felt it's not worth arguing with her over because there's no reason she'd ever see the reason behind any of my points.
Today my cover was blown. I received a text that said "Did you vote for Obama?". Shortly I got a call from DH saying he got an email from his mom saying so and so said that we were voting Obama (somebody that has never talked to/asked us about it). Typically, I spend more time with DH's mom than he does, and we get along great. But I am going to avoid this one like the plague. Chris sent his mom back an email asking how would that guy even know, but I'm going to pretend like I never got the text. My phones been broken lately so it might fly.
But seriously. I'm going to Seattle with her next week and I am terrified.
Any words of advice or sympathy are welcome. 
Re: worst nightmare come true
if you are in a red state you can say it doesn't matter what either of you vote because it will be for McCain anyways. Or you can just flat out lie and say you'll vote McCain - there are worse things in life than to lie to your ILs about politics - esp if you are going on a trip with them!!
I avoid talking about really "topics" with MIL because she has the inability to have a 2 way convo and the inability to summarize or to speak in an "indoor voice" so there is really no point in trying to discuss anything with her. I'll lie to get out of any actual indepth convo with them!
You've got my sympathy. ?I told my gramma that I went to the Obama rally, and she said, ewww, why?
My gramma is about the nicest person ever, and I really don't think she knows anything about politics other than "we vote Republican. ?Taxes!" ?I passed it off diplomatically as wanting to be involved in the political process and seeing a historical event.
They suspect I'm some crazy liberal, but I think they try to ignore it. ?I do, too. ?I love them, and I like to keep the peace. ?I won't change their minds, so it's not worth getting into.?
Exactly, Sibil, I am just trying to keep the peace by not starting inflammatory conversations.
So it's not just me thinking it was entirely inappropriate to flat out ask someone who they are voting for?
Ditto this.
Some families are pretty open about that, so I don't see it as necessarily inappropriate. ?And in other countries, people very openly talk about voting. ?I think as Americans we're actually reatively really private about it.
I know my family would say, you voted for McCain, right? ?But, mostly, I think it's because they like pushing my buttons, and deep down they're hoping I say yes.
I know you probably should just be honest, not apologize for your beliefs, etc. But sometimes, especially when it comes to ILs, it's a lot less stressful to take the path of least resistance. You could always say you haven't voted yet, are still undecided, are voting (or did vote) third party. Or you could always say you aren't voting at all. Or that you never tell people who you vote for.
Good luck!!
You have my sympathy. Only you know what is best in this situation.
Usually I just tell the truth. Of course there are times when I must keep my mouth shut - like at work with my students. They have been asking this week. Since most are Obama's supporters I am lucky I use the excuse we can't talk politics in class! We can talk issues if we talk both sides but that is it.
This also reminds me of my ex-ILs. Radically religious right. They were big David Duke supporters and kept bugging my ex-H & I to give money to his campaign and vote for him etc. We would just keep it to a minimum and say sure we'll do it but of course we never followed up on it.
Ditto this. I'm a big path of least resistance person.
I had held off my MIL finding out my political affiliations for a long time too (7 years). They're more no taxes Repubs, but they have Fox News on 24/7. Last time we were there we're just sitting on the couch and she says, "you guys are Republican right?" I averted my eyes and pretended to do something else, but she noticed I started blushing. Mr.P said, "well, one of us is..." We turned it into a funny thing and found common ground about HRC, but my MIL has a good sense of humor like that. Anyways it turned out she was asking about a potential trip to the Reagan library, so it was much more good willed to start out with.
Likewise, his grandfather sends crazy forwards, but he's a really sweet old man, so I don't have any reason to rock the boat. There's Repubs in my family that have to bite their tongue similarly all the time, so I've been on both sides.
I know it feels scary, but you'll get through.
Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, jessa!! ?
My ILs are also conservative, but they know DH and I are total Pinkos. ?DH is "that" member of the family--the one who is different. ?They can be semi-jokey about the political stuff, but what really upsets them is the fact that DH doesn't go to church anymore. ?He's never said, "I'm an atheist," to them, but they know. ?They can't hear the real words.
I'm not a path of least resistance person on politics, but I am in every other way, so that's fine. ?I just spent an hour and a half the other night telling my mother why jumping to the conclusion that vaccines = autism is totally horrible.?