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Anxiety about maternity leave, anyone feel like this?
For some reason, the past couple weeks, I've started getting tremendous anxiety abouty going on maternity leave. in June/July...and the fact it is coming up so quickly. Not the fact oh no, I need to wrap work up before maternity leave, but more like, what if they realize they don't need me working there types of anxiety....which leads to financial anxiety...
Now, I should preface this by saying my boss has told me multiple times in the past I'm his go to, his right hands, yadda yadda, I'm the most "senior" person on the team, etc etc...and has discussed his plans to mentor me into a leadership role, but lately instead of feeling empowered and safe, I feel nervous and anxious. Our team is finally *fully* staffed, and I feel like there are things that are going on this week (like 2 of our newer product managers- a technical and clinical- I'm a functional PM heading to a client site, while my boss travels to a potential client), that I just kind of found out about.
Now logically, my manager is a fair, kind, family oriented guy (his sister is one week ahead of me so that also plays into it, and I've worked with him for prob about 7 years (we worked together at a diff company also)). I logically understand (I think?) he is keeping me in the office this week for 2 reasons- 1, so I can keep an eye on things and be the contact in house 2, my birthday is on Wednesday and 3, so I don't have to fly/travel to NY or Mississippi but it's just unfortunate I feel left out of the loop. I probably should talk to him about this instance....
Anyways, this got really long...but my question is did anyone else have these crazy feelings? I know there are laws w/ termination while on mat leave, etc etc...(honestly I don't know a lot though), so I probably shouldn't feel this way, but I do. It probably doesn't help that I am the bread winner in the house, so my position is very important to keep...
Re: Anxiety about maternity leave, anyone feel like this?
My company was firing people left and right the past few months before I left, so I kinda understand how you are feeling. Everyone kept telling me I was the only "safe" person since I was pregnant, but I almost felt exactly the opposite.
I am someone who is extremely skeptical of trusting anyone in Corporate America-so I'm probably a bad person to ask, but all you need to worry about is watching your back and that is all. If it will make you feel better by asking your boss about why you've been kept in the office I'd totally do it.
If you are unsure of your rights about leave, this is something you should definitely look into right away or speak to your HR department about. You always want to make sure you know the ins and outs before any problems arise. I think this will make you feel much more confident about your current situation.
I feel like this everyday, pregnant or not. I don't think my job is important to the company, so I'm continually amazed that my CEO does and has kept me around.
That being said, FMLA is set to ensure that you still have a job when you come back after maternity leave. Can they fire you for "unrelated" reasons when you get back? Sure. But it seriously does not sound like your boss will do that.
Honestly I'm so freaked out about the money aspect that I'm only taking 2 true weeks of maternity leave, then plan on working from home for 4 weeks doing what I do now. The only difference is I won't go see clients or go into the office on Fridays. I know you have the option, so maybe continue to check in via email so you stay "in the loop" while your out? That way you're not out of sight, out of mind, you know?
The Sand in My Snow Boots
I'm in sales. I panic over this every day. To the point where I'm planning on only taking a full 2-3 weeks off and still responding to email the entire time.
This exactly. The employee engagement aspect of my job is so expendable I worry a lot about this.
It was terrifying for me going on maternity leave because I went to write out my job duties that had to be taken care of while I was out and my list was so small it was pathetic. Nothing even ended up being done at all while I was gone.
I think it's somewhat normal for you to feel this way, and I would recommend talking to your boss. You have a good relationship with him as it is and he can help calm your fears a bit, but only if he knows you are anxious in the first place.
Oh yes. I was also the breadwinner. Actually, taking this temp job is the first time in our marriage that Rodgers is making more money than me. My unemployment was $3 a week more than Rodgers' base pay. If he worked overtime, then he made more than me that week.
Anyway, despite the fact that you can't be fired for going on maternity leave or being pregnant or any other number of reasons, in TX you can be fired for no reason at all. So I was concerned, especially since my civilian webmaster friends at other units lost their jobs starting Mar 1, which was my return date after maternity leave. But, I was ok (until I got laid off of course, but nearly 50 civilians were laid off from my unit last summer, and I was one of the last to go).
But, Jackie, you are a super rockstar at your job! Your boss loves you. You will be fine.
Oh please don't do this to yourself. Enjoy your (at least) 6 weeks off with your baby.
The Sand in My Snow Boots
Marcy - I'm with Kate. I took seven weeks off and jumped straight back on the road recruiting a week after I got back. I was gone for most of the first six weeks I was back, and it sucked. The time that Baby P will be little flies by ridiculously fast [I'm still trying to figure out how I got a toddler on my hands so fast], so I hope you get the chance to take more time off to enjoy it with her. You'll need your baby time mama!
I was terrified that I'd be let go during maternity leave, too - especially since I had JUST started at my job when I went on leave. I'm not as apprehensive about it with my newer job, but it still makes me nervous. That's why we're taking the time now [while Joe's gone] to save and prepare, just in case.
This! I understand where you ladies are coming from, but try not to commit yourself to too much those first few weeks/months. Not to scare you, but you really might not have the time to work much. Especially those first few weeks. Even though the baby does sleep so much in the beginning, it's not usually longer than 3-4 hours at a time (unless you get the golden child
), so your sleep will probably be broken up as well. Basic functioning and duties is about as much as you'll be able to accomplish, unless you have a lot of family/friends to help out (which I highly recommend taking people up on!).
I mean, look at how little I even have time to hop on here and say hello anymore? I'm doing my morning pumping session right now and this will probably be the only chance today I'll be able to get on.....
See, I'm much more flexible than most. 70% of my job is checking my email in my pajamas, responding and sometimes calling people.
I think I can swing it.
Greg has 40 vacation days - between he and I being home, I think we can swing it...I hope.
All of this could obviously change, but the last two women in my position who have given birth the MAX they've taken 100% off is 2 weeks. The other only took a few days completely off.
I think it's pretty normal for any working, pregnant woman to worry about taking maternity leave. I mean, there are plenty of people who worry about having a job tomorrow on a day to day basis, let alone being off for 6+ weeks. There was a lot of upheaval going on in my office the last few months before I had Amelia. My boss is a real piece - at one point she told me how she was timing contractions during a work meeting. I have a feeling she'd fire her own blood if it made her feel/look more powerful. She'd just recently been allowed to hire a friend of hers (yes, seriously) and the word was out that our group was now overstaffed. I was terrified that she'd decided while I was gone that I was no longer needed. I made sure I had written confimation from HR about the amount of time I was allowed to be out, and then I tried to relax about it. To be honest, once Amelia was here I didn't have much time to worry about whether or not she'd find a way to get rid of me.
Not to scare you, but my sister's company did find a way to lay her off in the middle of her maternity leave. I don't know the specifics, but they called her in and told her she she'd basically be laid off the day she came back to work.
Amelia is going to be a big sister!