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For the moms of the board
This is probably a question better asked on the baby boards, but I thought I'd ask here instead! DH and I had planned on starting a family after I finished school or at least towards the end of my classes which would have put us trying in early 2013. Of course, plans rarely work out the way you intend! The program I was going to enroll in this fall is not accepting anymore applicants. It's a competetive healthcare program and since I can't begin classes this fall that means I'd have to wait all the way until next fall before I could start and that's IF I pass the exam beforehand. Sooo with this window of opportunity and taking into consideration everything that we recently experienced with the unexpected M/C and the loss we've felt from that, we are considering TTC later this year. My question is, how do you moms juggle work and a baby? Do you choose to stay at home? Work part-time and switch shifts with your DH? Have a nanny? Work full-time and use a daycare service? How much is daycare? I'd love to be a SAHM but with our income that's probably not a real option. I want to know how you other fabulous ladies make it work! Also what is your occupation and how family friendly do you feel it is?
Re: For the moms of the board
For me it was hard first coming back to work after the boys were born. Unfortunately, since I was taken out of work so early, financially I had to come back to work 6 weeks after they were born. For me, that was not long enough.
I will be honest, for me (I also have PPD) I just checked back into work last month. My work sufferred because all I could think about was them and all the first milestones I was missing. However I am ok with it now. I come home from work and their faces and reactions are worth it.
My advice would be that if you do decide to TTC, and a LO comes along the way. Make sure to set a routine. If there is no routine it can make the day hard. I am fortunate that my mother (well sometimes ha ha) stays with us during the week to watch the boys. (No way I could afford daycare to boys under the age of 2). I get up in the morning, if the boys are up, I bring them downstairs and change diapers and get them ready for the day. If they are not up I get ready first, then bring them down. When I get home, its dinner for them, and DH makes dinner for us (when he isn't working now, otherwise I do it). Bottles, playtime, baths and then bed for them.
Sorry that got so long winded, but I thought you would like to know what a typical work day is like for me. I look forward to the weekends, and spend quality time with them. DH and I still try to do date nights every now and then without the boys.
Oh and my occupation is I work in the Disability Insurance Field, and my manager is VERY flexible to an extent.
I plan on going back to work, both for my sanity and because it works better for us financially. Daycare costs will differ, depending on area, but around here we can find something for as low as $200/week. That's for an in-home service and not a big daycare center. Those are outrageous, and I don't really feel that the children get as much personal attention. We're just starting to look at all of that now.
You should think about how busy life will be once you go back to school, though. I can't imagine having to work, go to school, and then be a full-time mom the rest of the time. I think I would've had a major meltdown.
Life is so different for everyone, though, so figuring out when a good time to start a family is really a personal decision that only you and DH will be able to decide.
Our plan is for me to stay home for the first year. It will certainly be a hit on my income, but it's also doable. We just won't be going out to eat, doing extra things as often. We are hoping that I can find some way to at least bring in some sort of income while I stay at home. Offering proofreading services or maybe watching someone elses child. I also plan on really focusing on couponing and ways to at least save the money that's going out, since I won't be bringing in any.
I just don't see myself making a career at my current job and I don't think I'll want to go back to just a job 12 weeks after the baby is born.
I work full tim and use a daycare. I have found with talking to other moms on my baby message board our daycare is much cheaper here than most places. We pay 110 a week for preston and in the summer 150 a month for both Preston and Jordan.
I had originally thought I would be a stay at home and stayed at home for most of my pregnancy and until preston was 4 months old. I personally hated it and I needed to get back in the work force for my sanity. I have enjoyed it and I still get to spend time with my kids. Daycare in my opinion is great for kids it teaches kids to interact with others and Kids learn from each other. I think being a stay at home mom is great also but It is not for everyone.
I agree with PP a routine is a must. We have a routine and we are pretty strict about sticking with it of course now that we have been doing it for almost 7 months it just comes natural. There was an adjusting period but once we got in routine and figured out it has worked out great.
Good luck.
We are actually very lucky with our situation.
DH is a business owner. I will be taking over administrative duties for his company and working from home with very flexible hours. So basically a SAHM with some income.