Re: separation anxiety

AnnieME · March 2011

My child has it with his daycare provider, but not with me. How's that for a broken heart? Not crying when he leaves her house, but when she steps more than 3 feet away from him. My response was that she is a primary caregiver so this is natural. (who was I trying to convince?) I'm jealous.

SBTibbs · March 2011

Ugh, can't be fun at all. Of course it's great that he loves his DCP but still hard to see.

Not quite the same, but I have been going through this a lot with Eli choosing DH over me. I totally get that he might see him as more "fun" than me (since I can't play 100% of the time when I'm with him because I'm doing 10 other things- a vent for a different day!), but when he's hurt/sad and I pick him up and he cries and reaches for his dad. It's a blow to the momma ego.

jd72878 · March 2011

Although frustrating, hopefully these stages are short lived! Abby's had a few bouts of SE anxiety herself and it breaks my heart...

MA&CB · March 2011

If you want to look at it from an attachment perspective, maybe it's that he has a secure attachment with you and not with her. With you, he knows that if you step away, you'll be right back - he has that bond and that attachment with you that he trusts you will be there. With her, maybe his attachment is not as secure as with you, because she's not his mom, she has other kids there she's caring for, so maybe he's a little less confident that she'll be right back for him or he feels a little more needy because mama's not around.

AnnieME · March 2011

MA&CB:
If you want to look at it from an attachment perspective, maybe it's that he has a secure attachment with you and not with her. With you, he knows that if you step away, you'll be right back - he has that bond and that attachment with you that he trusts you will be there. With her, maybe his attachment is not as secure as with you, because she's not his mom, she has other kids there she's caring for, so maybe he's a little less confident that she'll be right back for him or he feels a little more needy because mama's not around.

Um, you made me cry! Thank you for that perspulective! My heart is full again!

MA&CB · March 2011

AnnieME:

MA&CB:
If you want to look at it from an attachment perspective, maybe it's that he has a secure attachment with you and not with her. With you, he knows that if you step away, you'll be right back - he has that bond and that attachment with you that he trusts you will be there. With her, maybe his attachment is not as secure as with you, because she's not his mom, she has other kids there she's caring for, so maybe he's a little less confident that she'll be right back for him or he feels a little more needy because mama's not around.

Um, you made me cry! Thank you for that perspulective! My heart is full again!

I'm glad that helps! I'm not just trying to make you feel better with social worky B.S., I really do believe it

AnnieME · March 2011

MA&CB:
AnnieME:

MA&CB:
If you want to look at it from an attachment perspective, maybe it's that he has a secure attachment with you and not with her. With you, he knows that if you step away, you'll be right back - he has that bond and that attachment with you that he trusts you will be there. With her, maybe his attachment is not as secure as with you, because she's not his mom, she has other kids there she's caring for, so maybe he's a little less confident that she'll be right back for him or he feels a little more needy because mama's not around.

Um, you made me cry! Thank you for that perspulective! My heart is full again! I apparently made up a word today!

I'm glad that helps! I'm not just trying to make you feel better with social worky B.S., I really do believe it

MA&CB · March 2011

AnnieME:
MA&CB:
AnnieME:

MA&CB:
If you want to look at it from an attachment perspective, maybe it's that he has a secure attachment with you and not with her. With you, he knows that if you step away, you'll be right back - he has that bond and that attachment with you that he trusts you will be there. With her, maybe his attachment is not as secure as with you, because she's not his mom, she has other kids there she's caring for, so maybe he's a little less confident that she'll be right back for him or he feels a little more needy because mama's not around.

Um, you made me cry! Thank you for that perspulective! My heart is full again! I apparently made up a word today!

I'm glad that helps! I'm not just trying to make you feel better with social worky B.S., I really do believe it

I noticed that! I'm not sure how you would pronounce it.

AnnieME · March 2011

Yeah, that would be pretty tough to try to use on a daily basis. The reason why I don't like the word 'specificity.'

tripin · March 2011

SBTibbs:
Ugh, can't be fun at all. Of course it's great that he loves his DCP but still hard to see.
Not quite the same, but I have been going through this a lot with Eli choosing DH over me. I totally get that he might see him as more "fun" than me (since I can't play 100% of the time when I'm with him because I'm doing 10 other things- a vent for a different day!), but when he's hurt/sad and I pick him up and he cries and reaches for his dad. It's a blow to the momma ego.

I have heard there is a phase where boys go into Daddy mode. I think I will feel the same way when this happens

Meg, I love your perspective on Nolan's SE!! I find, Luke has it with me. When he's been at DC or my Mom's and I come in, if I even leave to go to the bathroom he freaks that I'm going to leave him again. Kills me. But, oddly, then he is really mean to me and slaps me. Its tough, cause I know he's mad at me for not being around all day.

Re: separation anxiety

Re: Re: separation anxiety

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