Hudson Valley Nesties
sugardumpling
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Seven Year Itch?????
Re: Seven Year Itch?????
I think it's pretty normal to go through periods where you wonder what the heck you were thinking when you married each other. I also think it's totally normal, even in good times, to wonder about what you might be missing out on, think about what life might have been like if you'd ended up with someone else, etc.
DH and I talk about this stuff a lot. My parents divorced when I was 13, and his have been married for 40 plus years, so we have very different background experiences.
We had a few years (around year 5-6) where things were tough, partly because of my stress level with work, struggle with depression, and partly because he was pretty detached from the whole situation and focused on his work to the exclusion of everything else. Thing have been great for the last couple of years, pretty much since we moved up here to NY -- and we're trying to make sure to put in the effort to stay connected, esp. since we're ttc and know things will get harder if we have a baby.
I think it's important to recognize going into a marriage that there will be periods of time where you don't feel as connected to each other, and even times when you don't really like each other. The real issue is whether both people are committed to putting in the effort needed to make things work (this is assuming only normal marriage issues, not one person going totally nuts, cheating, or other major trust violation).
Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_'the_seven_year_itch'
ELF - i like your thoughts on this. thank you.
BSB - sorry i did not make the link clicky.
very well said elf!!
We've only been married a year this May, but we have been together just shy of 11 years. We've had ups and downs but have always been committed to loving each other. I naively thought the transition to marriage would be easy because of how long we have been together, boy was I wrong! At the 6-8 month mark, we had a really really rough patch, but we made it out better, reiterated our commitment to each other.
our 8th wedding anniversary is this summer.we've been together ~17 years. so we're in the midst of year 7!
i wish i had something profound to say. all i know is that juggling 2 full time jobs and 2 kids is taking a toll on us.
i do think all relationships have their ups and downs, whether it's with your spouse, your relatives or your friends.
I don't think the amount of time with someone is the trigger. I think it's the circumstances you face and if they bring you together or set you apart. I have been with DH for 14 years married for almost 8. We have had lots of ups and downs some have brought up together and some have almost torn us apart. I also think it's normal to look around every once in a while and take stock in what you are doing and where you are going. When one feels they need to be more of a rock so the other can follow their dreams it makes it hard. Especially if you have goals that are not necessarily inline with what you are doing with your life.
Good luck