April 2010 Weddings
dasmel30
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is it sad? (pregnancy related)
That I can't be happy for my SIL who is pregnant with her second child by a different man then her first child, doesn't have a decent job, didn't graduate from HS, and can't afford to pay for her cell phone?
::hangs head in shame::
~Melissa~
Shmel's Blog
Shmel's Blog
Re: Is it sad? (pregnancy related)
No.
My friends (okay, really friends of friends who we hang out with to be nice) who have a 1.5 year old announced recently that they are pregnant again. YAYY right? Wrong. Dad is unemployed and has been for quite sometime, mom is a teacher which is admirable but not exactly high-paying, and their house is almost in foreclosure. IMO "we want them to be close in age" just isn't enough sometimes. And yes, it was on purpose.
Wow I just totally hijacked your post, sorry. But really, I wouldn't be happy for her either.
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Agreed. While a new life is always something to be celebrated, the circumstances under which parents choose to bring the little guys into the world aren't always the best, or the most thought out.
Post hijack #2: My niece (H's niece, actually) is on this kick where all of her friends did/still do "everything together"...It started with them getting married before they could afford it, very young on only his military salary (she has been a student for the past 5 years it seems - both sets of parents forked over thousands for her wedding), because her besties were all getting married.
Then it was kids. Despite having little money and none saved, they decided to get pregnant shortly after getting married (again, on purpose), and it was "so cute" how 4 or 5 of her friends were all pregnant and had babies together! (again, both parents practically supported the baby for her first few years).
Next up? The house. Went out and bought a big 'ol newly constructed home that most long time married folks probably couldn't afford, because all of her friends were buying, and "renting"while saving up just wasn't good enough (again, both parents ended up providing tons of financial support, including most of the downpayment). And now? You guessed it! She and her friends are all having second babies together, and she is already sending mass emails about what she is going to need...
Of course H and I are happy that their family is growing, but it seems to cost her divorced mother and his parents every time they make a big decision. Long story short, I can see where you're coming from.
Thanks for backing me up ladies! It's frustrating to hear of people that shouldn't be pregnant yet get pregnant so easily. And other people, like Lori, who want to get pregnant but can't!
Oh I also forgot to mention that SIL and her daughter are living with her boyfriend and his son in the bf's mother's basement
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Yeah I totally understand where you are coming from. There is definitely a difference between being "unprepared" and being in no way ready to support a child when you don't have the capability to be a responsible adult.
People who are just in the unprepared column can at least grow and get ready as the pregnancy progresses, and will do the responsible thing.
Don't hang your head in shame, you are too good for that.
No. I have one word to describe her, and all the others who purposely (or accidentally due to not taking caution) get pregnant when their times are tough...
SELFISH!!!!!
I'm so with you....100%
Um wow that is selfish reasoning. I also thought of Lori and others that have a hard time getting pregnant as you said Mel. I work at a section 8 property full of girls who get pg and don't have means to support themselves, and many applicants waiting in the same situation.
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That is soooo frustrating!
I have a friend who is married; however she and her DH are having a lot of financial/personal issues. For one they weren't able to get the mortgage on their home so her dad took the mortgage out for them...they pay him. That is tough half the time for them. They can't pay for heating oil, she works 1 full time job she hates, and 3 part time jobs (babysitting, painting, and violin lessons). Her husband works retail making little. They fight quite a bit...and she tells me that she wants a baby...that maybe it'll make her strong, get her out of her depression. WTF?!! I could shake her!