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*moms*
have any of you had to experience separation anxiety at night?
the past 2 days z has been waking up and will fall back to sleep but freak out a few minutes later when she realizes we aren't in there with her. as soon as we pick her up, she passes right out but then freaks out again when she wakes up. i was thinking it was her teeth but nothing changes this routine.
i probably caused it since i usually fall asleep on the futon in her room with her when she eats at 4:30 until she wakes up at 7.
last night i decided to torture myself all at once and refuse to sleep in there no matter how many times i had to get up and put her to back to sleep AND i got rid of the swaddle.
she did great until midnight. i was doing 'checks' when i noticed her whole right eye was swollen shut and she had a rash all over the side of her face. the ped said the rash was eczema and maybe she was just rubbing her eye a lot since she was finally out of the swaddle. she's better now but it made the whole situation so much worse because i ended up undoing everything i did earlier b/c i was scared she was having allergic reaction or something so i slept with her again.
i suck. i need help. she's not a bad sleeper. she does get herself back to sleep throughout the night (well, prior to this she did). she doesn't even require us to hold her, she just wants us to lay next to her. unfortunately she doesn't stop crying if i just keep her in th crib and sleep on the futon alone.
her ped wants me to let her CIO without going in on any intervals but i'm not sure i'm comfortable with that. i do have a video monitor and i know she's not crying b/c she wants something other than us. any suggestions? i'd rather tackle it now before it gets out of control.
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Re: *moms*
To be honest I think Xander is going through this again at nights. The last few weeks he wakes up around 3 am and will not go back to sleep until we get him. And at that point I just put him in bed with us. He's also going through a growth spurt again and becomes hungry in the middle of the night again.
I try to let him CIO but he has a different cry and I just know some nights he won't go back to sleep unless he's next to us. You may need to let her CIO but I would still go in on intervals to check on her if it were me.
Alexander David
11.25.09
my blog
Avery goes through this exact stage every 2 months or so. She's in it right now. As soonas I pick her up and pat her butt maybe 3 times she passes out hard again but will wake & cry as soon as I lay her down.
She will cry hard for about 3-5mins but then usually goes back to sleep. I do think its teething related because I feel two new small bumps in her mouth, and it may also be constipation issues again.
Hang in there, it does get better! Good luck with Z!
thanks everyone for all the advice! i am completely ok with sleeping with her IF i knew it was just a developmental phase. my concern is that it's going to become a habit.
we went through a period of this when she was 4-8 weeks old. we don't ever bring her in our bed so we mostly just took turns then sleeping on the couch or the futon with her. i decided right before i went back to work that it had to stop. back then i didn't mind it so much because she was so little. she's old enough now to 'know' so that's where my issue resides.
i know it could be a plethora of things such as: teething, growth spurt, developmental, etc... i just wish i knew whether i should wait it out and give her what she wants or try to stop it before it gets out of control.
i love sleeping with her so it never bothered me to do it in the early morning but having to do it all night is a different story. it's not good for any of us
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Jess, you are not a bad mom! You're concerned about her, and you're not so rigid in your sleep training plan to not modify it if she has a serious problem -- I think that's a good thing. It's recognizing the difference between a serious and a not serious problem that's tough. After her eye heals and eczema clears up, give it a try for a few nights and see if that does the trick -- you may be amazed how quickly she'll catch on when you're consistent.
Have you read one of the sleep training books like Weissbluth or Ferber? Once you read a few chapters, I think it puts you in the mindset where you weigh which is worse: poor sleeping or separation anxiety while she learns? For us, we decided that we'd rather teach him how to sleep without us than get him when he wants us. I think you're wise to tackle this now, before she can call for you. Jacob slips back into a wakeful period some weeks, but for the most part it took a week to get him on track to STTN and it changes your life. And it'll change Z's life, too, when she gets a full night of rest.
FWIW, when we started, we did intervals but it just made him more upset, so we stopped. Now that Jacob is used to STTN and not being rocked to sleep, when he's fully awake and crying, for whatever reason, we go in there, give him a kiss, lay him back down, pat his bum, say goodnight, and close the door. He knows the drill now: once we do that, we're not coming back in, and he'll lay down and usually go right to sleep.