positive changes

pila78 · March 2011

I just scheduled my first therapy appointment. I love my job, but I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I have been coming home drained, and then taking it out on my husband. I have a full-time job that deals with helping children and adolescents, in crisis. I have an on-call job, one day a week, that I go and assess patients at 3 local hospitals that need to be placed in a psychiatric facility. I also do in-home therapy for 4 children, that live in the same home, one or two evenings a week. And on top of all that, I am getting my supervision for my license, where I meet for one hour a week for supervision. Let me first say that I'm not telling you about my jobs on here to complain or to sound like a martyr, I just want to give you guys an idea, so it can help explain why I'm emotionally drained at the end of the day. Secondly, I chose to work these jobs because I'm still unsure what I want to do after I get my license, so this is giving me a ton of experience, plus the extra money is nice Smile . My husband wants me to quit at least one of my part-time jobs, but I'm not ready for that..not just yet. I'm hoping that the therapist can help me with balancing everything and ways to cope with my stress. It's amazing that I do this with others, but when it comes to my own personal feelings, I feel as if I know nothing. I'm not really sure why I am posting this. I guess this was just a release for me, and because you guys are awesome and always helpful! I want to be proactive about this before it starts to affect my marriage. I am nervous about my appointment, but confident that it will help me! If anyone has any insight, I will greatly appreciate it.

Mitzzi23 · March 2011

Good for you! I think being in your field you know how important and helpful therapy can be. It is unfortunate, but it does always seem like we take our stress out on those we love the most. They are there and we feel most comfortable with them. It's great you are being proactive about it as opposed to reactive. Good luck!

PlumCallaLily · March 2011

Awww I'm sorry you're so stressed but I know you know that taking the step to realize you need someone to talk to is a big step in the right direction!

Are you not ready to give up a part time job because of the money, or because you enjoy it? If giving up one of the jobs would make you less tired and give you more time at home, it might be worth it to give one up IMO....if you can.

Hopefully, like you said, the therapist can give you some helpful ideas.

Additionally, I can't begin to imagine how much stress and pain your absorb from others and I would think speaking with someone else who "gets" you on a professional level would be very helpful.

Good luck and we're here for you! ((HUGS))

shelley1002 · March 2011

That's a lot. Good luck with the therapist and in deciding which direction you want to go in.

SSM&JLM · March 2011

I think realizing that you need an outside perspective is great. I hope the therapist can help you talk stuff out and figure out where you want to go.

pila78 · March 2011

PlumCallaLily:

Additionally, I can't begin to imagine how much stress and pain your absorb from others and I would think speaking with someone else who "gets" you on a professional level would be very helpful.

Good luck and we're here for you! ((HUGS))

Yes, I definitely think this the key!

I'm not ready to give up the jobs yet, because I love the 2 part-time jobs...and I am gaining so much experience. Of course I enjoy the money because it's helping to build up our E-fund, but money isn't everything. I'm not refusing to quit one of my jobs, but I want to first find out if I can find a healthy balance. If not, then one or even both have to go. I refuse to let this ruin my marriage or my health.

Thanks you guys for your kindness and support!

Rebekistan · March 2011

{{hugs}} I know how you feel about being emotionally overwhelmed in a job where you're helping other people. Going to see a therapist is a great idea! Having a space to talk about your frustrations and the tough cases is going to help you get some of that off of your mind.

I work for Legal Aid, and of course I can never do enough for 90% of my clients -- either b/c of the limitations of my grant, or unavailability of other resources, or they've come to me too late for me to help, or they need help that I just can't provide. It's really hard to be confronted with desperate problems all day and be limited in what you can do for people. If that's what you're doing for employment, I've learned the importance of having a supportive employer -- that's why I'm changing jobs. The vibe in my current office is that we can always do more, more more, despite our time and expertise limitations; instead, I need to be in a place that is supportive when I do a good job even if the problem isn't eradicated.

Well, but that's enough about me. I wish I had some more insight for you, except to be sure to take time out of your day for yourself (that's what I'm doing now!) It's easy to get caught up in the emergency of the moment instead of making time for your daily emotional needs. I have put up some serious time limitation boundaries b/c I need time with Jacob and Thom; without those boundaries, I'm sure I would get run over by work demands.

pila78 · March 2011

Rebekistan:

{{hugs}} It's really hard to be confronted with desperate problems all day and be limited in what you can do for people. If that's what you're doing for employment, I've learned the importance of having a supportive employer -- that's why I'm changing jobs. The vibe in my current office is that we can always do more, more more, despite our time and expertise limitations; instead, I need to be in a place that is supportive when I do a good job even if the problem isn't eradicated.

Well, but that's enough about me. I wish I had some more insight for you, except to be sure to take time out of your day for yourself (that's what I'm doing now!) It's easy to get caught up in the emergency of the moment instead of making time for your daily emotional needs. I have put up some serious time limitation boundaries b/c I need time with Jacob and Thom; without those boundaries, I'm sure I would get run over by work demands.

Thank you! Fortunately, I have a great supervisor for my full-time job. She always has us check in with her to vent so we don't get burnt out. She is a big advocate of mental health days...so that definitely helps with the me time. You really hit the nail on the head about putting up boundaries. I really need to do that when I am home because I'm constantly getting bombarded with my friend's problems, and I want to help them, but of course I can't treat them...but I am having difficulty drawing the line between being a good friend and not being their therapist. It's amazing that I have great boundaries with clients and co-workers, but personally, I definitely need to work on that! I think that is the main reason why I feel overwhelmed. I just need to start giving my friends referrals when they have a problem that they want to talk about. And it's not that my friends are taking advantage of me, it's that I allowed this to happen. I have always been the go-to person, even getting into this profession, but now that I am in this profession, it's got to stop!

tshott · March 2011

I'm proud of you for realizing that you need to get some advice over what to do. Too many people think that they can handle everything themselves, especially people in your line of work, and they forget to take care of themselves. I hope that this is helpful for you. Good luck!!!

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