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So sad...

Many of you know that I have a strained relationship with my younger sister.  It all started when my mom died; my dad didn't handle his grief very well, and my mom's family tried taking over raising my younger sister.  When my dad settled down, my older sister & I forgave him and we've had a great relationship with him since (better than ever actually)  My younger sister has never gotten over this, and has always held a grudge toward us and we often have good/bad periods of time with her.  

I was really bad again back in the fall and until Christmas.  After my begging and pleading, DH finally got involved and tried to help us work things out.  I was so happy b/c he's always had a good relationship with her and I knew this would work.  Well, of course it didn't work.  We had another episode a couple of weeks ago (that included embellished conversations that never occurred and unnecessary posts on FB) and DH was so mad that he called her out.  Since then, she's defriended all of us on FB, doesn't answer her phone, or return calls/texts.  And No, she didn't even wish me a happy birthday yesterday.  

I know this shouldn't bother me.  We've been through enough drama with her that I just want to be done with communication.  I understand that she doesn't want to be part of our life.  But this is the first time she's never called one of us to wish us a Happy Birthday.  It sucks.  My dad is completely deflated.  He's so upset, he just called me crying.  I don't know when I last saw him cry.  It really sucks that we lost our mom and we've lost our sister.  That's what it feels like; a death in the family.  Yesterday sucked as I waited to see if I would get a call/text/email.  

Obviously, there's much more to the story than what I had time to type out.  A lifetime worth.  And a lot of this stems from judgement being passed on people when know one has the right to pass judgement.  I know I'm not perfect, but I've tried.  And I think now I've given up.  Thanks for letting me vent.  I'm sure that this kick me in the a$$ later.  Someone is bound to find this post, but I just don't care anymore. 

Re: So sad...

  • kmm13kmm13 member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Oh man, Angela.  I'm so so sorry you're in this situation.  I understand a tiny bit, because I've had some family drama as well in the last year (doesn't sound as serious as what's going on with your little sister), and it also involves being judged unfairly.  I hope that someday she will realize that you have all been trying and reaching out to her, and that holding grudges doesn't really help anyone.  Thinking of you.  Sorry she didn't call on your birthday; that would be hurtful to me too.
  • that sucks. i'm so sorry you're going through that.
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  • i'm so sorry, angela! as much as it hurts, you have to remember that taking care of yourself, DH, & JJ is the most important thing. *hugs*
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  • I'm so sorry honey. Hugs to you and your dad. I have no good advice for you but from this post alone it seems like you def. tried to make thing better/work. Vent away, we're here for you.
  • Thanks ladies.  It felt good getting this off my chest, and especially in a venue of supportive women.  A public forum can be scary at times, but right now I just need the support.  
  • I am so sorry. We've had a similar situation in our family, and have not spoken with DH's brother for a couple years now. It kills me that it has come to this, since I have such a close relationship with my sister. He hasn't seen us since Shannon was about 4 months old; I don't even think my BIL knows we have a son. DH was always the one trying to mend fences that his brother burned, and he got tired of constantly holding up his arm to extend the olive branch. He really tried to have a relationship with his brother, but he just got taken advantage of and hurt time and time again. He finally decided that enough was enough. There is always so much behind a sad story like this. And, it's never fair.

    I just wanted to let you know that I can empathize. If you need to talk, I'm here! 

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  • oh sweetie, vent away. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. My brother and I have had a strained relationship at times so I know the pain, but fortunately ours hasn't gotten too bad yet and is actually on the upswing finally now that we're older. I wish I could fix it for you, I do. We're always here for you!
    Wife, mom, attorney, blogger, runner - trying to learn to love all the good things in life!!
    "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
    My blog: Dodging Acorns
  • I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

    ((hugs))

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  • I am so sorry about all of this, I really do not have anything to add just (((HUGS)))
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