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Friend vs. Family Wedding
Hey yall,
I am a newbie to the nest, but I loved all the advice and help I received from friends at the knot during my wedding planning (Just married Nov. 2010).
I have a problem and I'm seeking some advice. My very good friend (friends since high school, college roommates, and she was in my wedding) is getting married March 2012. She and her fiance have been engaged since Dec. 2009. My husband and I were there for the proposal and she asked me to be a bridesmaid shortly after.
My new hubby's brother is recently engaged (Feb 2011). I am a new but good friend of his fiance (we've gotten super close since they started dating), and she recently asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding. My husband will also serve as the best man.
Problem: The weddings are on the same day and in two different states!
One side of me feels obligated to back out of my friend's wedding because IT IS family, but on the other hand I knew about my friend's wedding first, and honestly, we've been friends long before my husband and his family even came along!
What's your take on it???
Re: Friend vs. Family Wedding
you accepted your friends request to be a bridesmaid. Don't break your word.
You're obligated to your friend, your husband's family will have to accept that or change their date.
First off... welcome!
I agree with PP. You agreed to be in your friend's wedding before you knew about your BIL's wedding. I would explain your situation to your FSIL and regretfully decline. Maybe set up a date after the wedding to watch their wedding video with them? Attend her shower? There are other ways besides being in/at the wedding to be involved and show you still care. GL on your decision!
You cannot back out of your friend's wedding. Your dh can go to his brother's, you go to your friend's.
What did you say when your future SIL asked you to be in the wedding. That was the time you should have said you were in one on that date. If you didnt mention it then, she will think your friend asked you after she asked and you picked the friend over her ( thats what I would think).
My vote is to be in the friends wedding since you already said yes and your DH be in his brothers wedding.
71 workouts completed in 2012
OK first and foremost, what are the odds of them picking the same exact date??!!! That sounds like something that would totally happen to me because it's the kind of luck I have.
Now - When your FSIL asked you to be a bridesmaid, did you tell her yes? Was this before they set their date? You need to tell her ASAP that you already committed to be in a wedding that day out of state. Hopefully your ILs won't trash you for dropping family for a friend, but a commitment is a commitment and you did tell her first.
Just curious, what does your H say about this?
I would tell your FSIL that you already made a committment to your friend. Tell her ASAP. He can attend his brother's wedding, you can go to your friend's.
Hopefully your H will understand that you made a commitment to your friend first. This isn't about family vs. friend. It's about honoring a committment.
I agree with this.
When she asked me I told her I would be honored to be involved any way possible, but that I couldn't promise anything if their wedding date was March 24th.
My husband supports my wanting to fulfill my committment to my friend, although he will surely miss me at his brother's wedding
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