September 2009 Weddings
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TMI in a marriage?
Is there such a thing as TMI in a marriage?
Here's what happened: Robin knows I'm charting and is pretty in-the-know about ovulation and all of that stuff. However, I feel like there's something about CM that is just TMI. I don't want him to know. I don't want him to ask questions about it. He thinks that's silly, even said "You saw me after my ball surgery." (haha. sorry that might even be TMI for y'all)
What do we think? Is there such a thing as TMI once you're married, or is it just all out there? Are there some things you still try to keep private? What do you think is/would be TMI?
Re: TMI in a marriage?
Haha, Chris and I had the same conversation about CM when I was reading through TCOYF -- I offered up information in regards to the same, and he was the one to tell me he was good not knowing, so from there on out I didn't care to mention it. It didn't bother me -- I don't blame him really. CM wasn't my favorite part either.
But no... I mean I put it all out there, and so does Chris, and we usually go on a case-by-case basis as to when enough is enough.
updated 10.03.12
I will say that only just this weekend did my husband find out my real weight, and I found out his, and we were both embarrassed. But, once we got past the embarrassment, it helped us to open up to each other and understand each other a little better.
Just like many things, I think it's really going to vary between relationships. I feel like some things I just want to keep private. But Scott and I also don't even pee with the bathroom door open. Just some things I want private. I don't have a *problem* peeing in front of my husband, I'm not embarassed or anything, I just don't want to. Nor do i really care to share his bathroom experiences.
And not that we've ever needed to discuss CM, but I have a feeling I wouldn't really care to discuss it.
Unless there's some kind of issue, then it always needs to be discussed in some way at least.
Yeah, I tried this in the beginning, but now he knows. I have very regular cycles, so it just isn't that hard to count in two week increments. CM is not something he needs to know about. He's just being curious.
He likes to tell me about the state of his poop too, and I usually say something like "thanks for sharing." That's TMI for me.
OK, maybe we do have a line... we don't discuss our bathroom business LOL -- and like Nooner said earlier, we don't pee with the door open, either.
updated 10.03.12
We are pretty open. Josh doesn't get grossed out by much, but I'm a little more private. We definitely pee with the door open...or while the other is in the same bathroom, but that's where I draw the line.
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
That's what we do as well. We are open about everything, hell we have no problem using the toilet when the other person is in the bathroom. But if either of us don't want to hear about something then we'll speak up. Right now there isn't anything on that list.
ETA: I don't chart, but I also wouldn't want to share when I'm most fertile like k-hart to avoid pressuring him. We said we were going to keep it casual and see what happens and not chart.
I charted so that I knew what to expect while not on BC, but Chris didn't want to know either. So I never told him, and I'll admit, knowing in the back of my head my O-days kinda took the fun out of it, but at the same time, I also didn't find myself suddenly "in the mood" during those days either... whatever happened, happened, and it did!
updated 10.03.12
We talk about everything, I can't think of anything we haven't shared. Sometimes I think it would be nice if we kept our mouths shut more about things but we never do! We are more private about going to the bathroom in front of each other and almost always shut the door.
When we were TTC he was aware of all the charting stuff I was doing but I didn't go into great detail or anything. He knew about O days and things like that and while it didn't bother him, I am sure it took the fun out of it a little because I know it eventually did for me too.
{My Blog}
I want to start charting but I'm not really sure how effective it would be considering I have PCOS and I need to take a pill to actually have a period, so I don't know if charting would actually give me a good picture of my cycle. Although. I think if I knew I would probably want to have sex even if I wasn't in the mood which would ruin the whole "if it happens, then it happens" mentality we were going with.
So true. By the time the 3rd nurse came into the postpartum room to check out my stitches, I already had the pull-the-pants-down-and-roll-over technique down...
updated 10.03.12
I didn't start charting until after we'd been trying for a year. We started off with just "if it happens, it happens" (although honestly I'm a little too Type A for that), six months later we started using OPKs and I was watching CM. I know some people start charting right away, but I didn't want it to turn into work. I'll be honest. It's totally work for us now, even though we still like it. ;-) I'd try to keep it from being work for as long as possible, though.
Ditto this... Ken seems to like seeing me squirm when he mentions bathroom topics hehehe
This is pretty much us too. I tried to make him read the TCOYF chapter on CM and he was super gagging.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I had extremely long and irregular cycles, so charting was never useful in helping me figure out O days. However, I charted so that I would know if I DID ovulate, which was all I was looking for. If I were you, I'd try charting just for that, because if you do get pregnant, then you'll know when you conceived. It was also helpful for my doctor since we were able to tell if I was even ovulating at all.
As far as TMI, H and I don't pee or poo in front of each other -- the bathroom door gets closed for that. I have no problem peeing in front of him, but he prefers to keep that a little more private, so I just shut the door. When it comes to *discussing* pee and poo though, everything's fair game. I never used to talk to him much about my bathroom habits, but since I've been pregnant, he knows if I'm constipated or how often I've gone (I've had him run out and buy me prune juice.) He also knows all about CM because mine has been over-the-top insane while pregnant. I've had him bring me fresh pantyliners before. He's pretty used to it.
I don't purposely attempt to gross H out, but I don't really keep anything from him if it's on my mind or see a need to hide anything. If I'm uncomfortable (due to poo issues or to much CM or whatever) I want him to know why. It's good prep for child birth, I'm sure.
This. I kept that to myself.
lol me too! And I'm afraid I'll turn it into work with my personality.
I never thought of it that way, that's a good idea because I'm not sure if I'm ovulating. I'll have to talk to my doctor about it tomorrow at my appointment. I guess it's time to finally read that TCOYF copy I've had for a year.