PW: Helping DH w/his retirement?

hz80408 · April 2011

PW note b/c yes, I'm PWing it up today

Background: My company offers 401K (w/6% match; I put in 7%), pension plan, and profit sharing. The later 2 I'm not vest yet, but with our current plan for living/working, I will be at my company long enough to become vested.

DH's company doesn't offer 401K, so through my research and MM board, it seems like the best option for him is a Roth IRA. BUT, we're 24 and DH doesn't see the importance of retirement savings yet (I've had a 401K since 21). So my thought was that I would start one for him and contribute $100/mo to it. Currently that money is going into my personal savings, which will be used towards a down payment for us, so either way the money would benefit "us" in the future.

Someone on MM pointed out, that God-forbid, DH & I not work out, then that money would be his. Is it bad to have a slight reservation about doing this now? Gosh, it sounds so awful, and really it's not that much money, but now I feel like a bad wife for even thinking this way.

chantico23 · April 2011

This is totally a graph designed for kids, but it clearly shows the importance of starting to save NOW. One example shows someone who started investing when they were 19 and stopped completely when they were 26, and the other example is a person who started investing at 27 and kept investing until they retired. At the age of retirement, the person who started at 19 has almost a million dollars more (even though they put in way less of their own money) because of compound interest. Click here for the graph example

And as far as the caution that you would lose out on the money if things didn't work out between the two of you...um...I think that you should plan for things working out. I'm of the opinion that once you are married it is "our" money not "my" money, so I wouldn't give this a second thought. But if heaven forbid you don't stay married forever, you can always work out getting your fair share in the divorce settlement.

hz80408 · April 2011

Thanks Erin! I love links like those, it's a great way to show how important savings really is and the value of compound interest! I just sent to DH.

As for the "ours" money thing, I obviously am in this for the long run, so I am thinking that I'll help contribute. Thanks!

Mia2700 · April 2011

As far as the situation with it being "his" money if something happens later on, that's not always true. I wouldn't factor this in when deciding to help him save for retirement.

I work with clients on a regular basis that are splitting their IRAs and the reason on the asset movement paperwork: transfer due to divorce.

hz80408 · April 2011

kearstin1218:

As far as the situation with it being "his" money if something happens later on, that's not always true. I wouldn't factor this in when deciding to help him save for retirement.

I work with clients on a regular basis that are splitting their IRAs and the reason on the asset movement paperwork: transfer due to divorce.

Interesting, thanks for the input. I mean I know the money will go towards us one way or another, so why not help him start to save for retirement so I'm not constantly worrying about it in the back of my mind

Mia2700 · April 2011

Exactly. And I promote the idea of Roth IRA for him, in case you wanted my opinion on that as well lol

hz80408 · April 2011

kearstin1218:
Exactly. And I promote the idea of Roth IRA for him, in case you wanted my opinion on that as well lol

Lol, thanks!

Do you have any companies you recommend? MM seems to be found of Fidelity and Vanguard.

Xan921 · April 2011

Maybe I'm a gloomy gus, but I totally understand what you are saying about if you happen to not always be together. This is the very reason that Jason and I have a joint account but also have separate accounts. If it were up to him we'd just have a joint account, but I've heard too many horror stories about couples breaking up and one or the other taking everything out of their bank account. I hope to be with Jason forever, but a lot of things can happen in the future that none of us can predict, so I refuse to put all my eggs in one basket, especially when that basket can be so easily emptied by an angry partner.

Don't get me wrong, I think it is important to have a retirement plan, but I think it's equally important to watch out for yourself as well because just because someone loves you and respects you now, doesn't mean they always will.

hz80408 · April 2011

Xan - that was the same thought from the MM board poster. Like I posted above, either way if some did happen in the future we'd have to discuss splitting the money, whether it's used to help purchase our house/condo or his retirement. I'm glad you see what I'm saying though!

Mia2700 · April 2011

hz80408:

kearstin1218:
Exactly. And I promote the idea of Roth IRA for him, in case you wanted my opinion on that as well lol
Lol, thanks!
Do you have any companies you recommend? MM seems to be found of Fidelity and Vanguard.

Couple things..

Does he have life insurance? If so, his advisor would be able to set up the roth for him and select the best funds on his behalf - and likely be able to choose between the best companies out there.

He could go through his bank, and select his own funds based on his risk tolerance.

It doesn't really matter what company holds the IRA, it depends what funds are in it. All in all, I'd suggest seeking a financial advisor to guide you/him through it. It will make things so much easier if you don't follow the market/tickers.

hz80408 · April 2011

kearstin1218:
hz80408:

kearstin1218:
Exactly. And I promote the idea of Roth IRA for him, in case you wanted my opinion on that as well lol
Lol, thanks!
Do you have any companies you recommend? MM seems to be found of Fidelity and Vanguard.

Couple things..

Does he have life insurance? If so, his advisor would be able to set up the roth for him and select the best funds on his behalf - and likely be able to choose between the best companies out there.

He could go through his bank, and select his own funds based on his risk tolerance.

It doesn't really matter what company holds the IRA, it depends what funds are in it. All in all, I'd suggest seeking a financial advisor to guide you/him through it. It will make things so much easier if you don't follow the market/tickers.

We both have life insurance through my company although I've only had contact with my HR to set it up and not the insurance company itself.

Any recs on how/where to find a trustworthy financial advisor?

ead1975 · April 2011

You should show him Erin's graph. And if he still balks, tell him you hope he enjoys the nursing home that was on 60 Minutes that one time, because you'll be living in Super Terrific Happy Fun Times Retirement community without him.

Kearstin has good advice about the financial advisor, though. I don't think this is the first time you've mentioned being on a different page than your husband, and it may help to have someone else talk him through the different options.

Boynton1286 · April 2011

hz80408:
Xan - that was the same thought from the MM board poster. Like I posted above, either way if some did happen in the future we'd have to discuss splitting the money, whether it's used to help purchase our house/condo or his retirement. I'm glad you see what I'm saying though!

I completely understand and agree with where you are coming from. I don't think that it is your responsibility to put money into a retirement fund for your husband. IMO that is his responsibility and he should want to be saving for his retirement just as you are saving for yours. IMO you shouldn't have to put money from your paycheck into an IRA for your husband, that is his responsibility. You aren't his mom, you are his wife, and he should be preparing for the future just like you are.

DH and I each contribute to our own retirement plans separately. DH was contributing a lot more before he bought our house but we are almost to a position where he can begin contributing more again. I guess I don't think that it is your responsibility to look out for him, he should know that this is important for your future together or apart.

Mia2700 · April 2011

hz80408:

We both have life insurance through my company although I've only had contact with my HR to set it up and not the insurance company itself.

Any recs on how/where to find a trustworthy financial advisor?

Best place to find an advisor is word of mouth. Do your parents/his parents work with anyone? Any of your friends? I'd never recommend going to a stranger for financial advice, I'm in the world of having a license =/= having your best interest. If my bro was licensed in IL I'd refer ya Wink

hz80408 · April 2011

K-I'll have to start asking around. We have a hs acquaintance who works for Northwestern Mutual who actually called DH last week about finances, but honestly DH didn't talk much b/c he figured he was trying to sell him life insurance. Maybe I'll call him back and try to learn some more.

Boynton1286 · April 2011

hz80408:
K-I'll have to start asking around. We have a hs acquaintance who works for Northwestern Mutual who actually called DH last week about finances, but honestly DH didn't talk much b/c he figured he was trying to sell him life insurance. Maybe I'll call him back and try to learn some more.

Do you have live insurance? I think that is another thing that people our age don't think about but it is extremely important to have. We went to our insurance agent a few months ago to talk about life insurance. The average funeral is $5000-10,000, that is a lot of money!! I have life insurance thru my work but DH doesn't. I can give you the name of the guy that we use for our finances. He is wonderful and is located in Davenport. Let me know if you want his name and number.

hz80408 · April 2011

Boynton1286:

hz80408:
K-I'll have to start asking around. We have a hs acquaintance who works for Northwestern Mutual who actually called DH last week about finances, but honestly DH didn't talk much b/c he figured he was trying to sell him life insurance. Maybe I'll call him back and try to learn some more.

Do you have live insurance? I think that is another thing that people our age don't think about but it is extremely important to have. We went to our insurance agent a few months ago to talk about life insurance. The average funeral is $5000-10,000, that is a lot of money!! I have life insurance thru my work but DH doesn't. I can give you the name of the guy that we use for our finances. He is wonderful and is located in Davenport. Let me know if you want his name and number.

lol, Kearstin asked that previously. Yep, DH & I get it automatically through my work. Although I may be interested in your contact! Is he for a major company?

Boynton1286 · April 2011

hz80408:
Boynton1286:

hz80408:
K-I'll have to start asking around. We have a hs acquaintance who works for Northwestern Mutual who actually called DH last week about finances, but honestly DH didn't talk much b/c he figured he was trying to sell him life insurance. Maybe I'll call him back and try to learn some more.
Do you have live insurance? I think that is another thing that people our age don't think about but it is extremely important to have. We went to our insurance agent a few months ago to talk about life insurance. The average funeral is $5000-10,000, that is a lot of money!! I have life insurance thru my work but DH doesn't. I can give you the name of the guy that we use for our finances. He is wonderful and is located in Davenport. Let me know if you want his name and number.
lol, Kearstin asked that previously. Yep, DH & I get it automatically through my work. Although I may be interested in your contact! Is he for a major company?

He works for Country Insurance, but they do financial planning also. I have another contact with Life Investors. Let me know if you are interested

Mia2700 · April 2011

hz80408:
K-I'll have to start asking around. We have a hs acquaintance who works for Northwestern Mutual who actually called DH last week about finances, but honestly DH didn't talk much b/c he figured he was trying to sell him life insurance. Maybe I'll call him back and try to learn some more.

The best thing to do is get educated. Because he's known you for awhile, I'd assume he'd have your best interest since his name will be associated with the IRA anyway, but I'd still know a little something before making any decisions.

This can give you basic knowledge so that you know what he is talking about and you can ask him educated questions. If after you talk to him you have questions, please feel free to ask.

hz80408 · April 2011

Thanks Ashlee and Kearstin!

I think I'm going to contact the family I used to babysit for/still do occassionaly. The dad is high up at NW Mutual and has tons of contacts in Chicago. It'd be nice to have someone to meet face-to-face.

I'll have to update! Y'all are motivating me!

PW: Helping DH w/his retirement?

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