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Is it 2012 yet?
Hi Ladies,
So this year has not been a good one for me! The latest in the bad news is we were indeed pregnant, but my numbers are not rising, they are lowering. This means according to the Dr.'s we are inevitably going to miscarry. I have not started bleeding yet. I am so sick over this. We have been trying since the wedding and now this! I am beyond depressed about it.
We had only shared with my BFF (the one who had a baby and didn't know she was pregnant) and she is completely acting selfish. She is telling me I should just not think about it and not worry because "most people wouldn't have even known they were pregnant" Her comments are so insensitive. I think it is time to re-evaluate our friendship since it seems the friendship is a one way street.
My DH has been supportive but he just started a new job and is working a ton. Not a lot of time for us together which is stressful as well.
I am finishing up school in the next month, thank goodness!
The 1 positive in my life right now is our animals. The new puppy, Wallie is recovering well and really adjusting to our house. We love him and the other 3 to pieces! I just hope I won't always have to just be the crazy dog lady!!! But for now at least it is keeping me sane.
Thanks for listening ladies.
Lindsay
Re: Is it 2012 yet?
Lindsay, I am so sorry and have been thinking about you these past few days since you last posted.
You have every right to be sad and depressed. But I see one good thing about this: you can get pregnant. My preacher and his wife are going through some infertility issues and just had their 2nd round of IVF. She lost the baby a few weeks in but was elated to know that she could actually get pregnant. Take some time for yourself and husband to grieve.
I don't know your friend obviously, but I'd drop her like a hot potato. What she said to you is one of the most insenstive, asinine, and offensive things I've heard in a while. No, lots of people don't know they're pregnant in the first few weeks, but most people also aren't stupid enough to go through an entire pregnancy not knowing they're with child. So she has nooooo room to talk. You are absolutely within reason to e-evaluate the relationship.
I'm sure you're time is coming soon! Will you actively continue to try or are you waiting until 2012?
Do the creep.
I am so sorry :-( I too have been thinking about you and what has been going on. Sadly miscarriage happens more than people want to admit. Good for you for talking about it. Thoughts and prayers are being sent you way. I agree with the PP that the good thing is that you can get pregnant. And now that you are more aware about your fertility and what it takes to get pregnant I hope that it will be super easy for you when you decide to start trying again. I have hope that you will get pregnant again with a sticky little bean! Know that we are here for you if you need to talk about your loss. Again my thoughts are with you and good luck to you as your continue your TTC journey.
Also I would love to refer you to this other website that I am on frequently. It is a site specifically for women who are trying for their first. And the women on there are WONDERFUL (as opposed to some of the negativity that are on some of the other sites...) http://readyforlittleones.createyourimpact.com/ I know there are some others on there who have experienced loss's recently and I am sure that they would be a great source of support for you.
You've been in my thoughts since your last post, sorry to hear about what you are going through. You've had a rough year. It is a loss that no one can understand unless they have experienced it, and a different one at that.
As for your friend, people do not what to say in this type of situation and try to say something/anything to make the person feel better (Like me right now-lol.) I don't know if I could totally fault her for that, but sounds like there are other things going on there that give you reason to cut ties.
Finishing school is a major hurdle, congratulations on that!
In regards to trying since the wedding, I'm with you on that. We are going on Cycle 8. Didn't think it would happen right away, but at 35, after six cycles I decided to talk to my GYN and get some ultrasounds and bloodwork. Yesterday, I got more bloodwork and a SA requisition for DH only to get a call that my BF is pregnant with her 3rd child (bit of messy situation there, but I digress). I am happy for her and a little sad for me. Funny thing is that I worked in a fertility clinic for a year when I was 22, and watched so many women struggle with IF (IUI, IVF and Donor Egg IVF). To be on the other side now, (fortunately just in the testing stages at this point) I feel pretty silly, especially since DH and I had been together for so long. So, on to 2012
Thanks for sharing and updating us. Apparently, I needed to share myself-lol. I will have my fingers crossed for you and hope you do the same for me, so we can get add some more sticky babies to this board:)
I am so sorry you are going through this. Having seen two of my BMs (one of them my SIL) lose their babies made me realize that miscarriage is a very common thing. It's a little scary, but you have to remain positive. Like PP said, you can get pregnant! It's a bright side. Maybe when you complete school, you will not have the stress of studying and taking the exams, and your body will be more receptive to a baby. I don't know much about it, but I do believe strongly in the power of positive thinking. You have to believe that this is just one more thing that is bringing you closer to finally having a baby. I am not too religious, but there is a verse in Matthew 21:21 "And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive"... This verse always helped me stay positive... Believe that you will be a mom, pray for it, and you will get pregnant again.
On a funny note - if everything else fails, get a part time job at a hospital or somewhere with the newborns... A friend of my mom's could never get pregnant. With her husband they stopped using any contraception 15 years ago because she just believed that she was infertile. Her husband had a son (her stepson) from the first marriage, and when that step son and his wife moved to the US, they had to stay with my mom's friend and her husband for a while. The girl got pregnant and they lived with my mom's friend till the baby was about 6 months. My mom's friend got pregnant when the stepson's child was 3 months. Her doctor said that it must have been the smell and the hormones in the house that caused her to be able to get pregnant. She was 41 at that time too! You never know
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It's always so sad when the people who realllly want it, or deserve it, don't get it right away. BUT, like louie said: You CAN get pregnant. It will happen. I know it's not helpful, and I truly do not mean this rude at all, but miscarriages are very common, (like, every women in my family has had at least one).
You body is going to produce a healthy happy baby soon enough.
As for your friend, she seems....well, clueless at the very least. Her response to your current situation wasn't exactly loving. But look to those that are to get you through this time, and just get ready to trytry again. :-/
GL girl