October 2010 Weddings
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Do you think that relationships have to successful/active sexually to be a good relationship?
For how young we are, I feel like DH and I should be having more sex than we do. But besides having a regular/active sex life I feel like our relationship is good. It's weird.
ETA: I'm not saying anything about Ashlee's relationship, but just in general (or more towards even DH and I)
Re: s/o Ashlee's post
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I might be alone on this one, but I don?t think sex is necessary at all for a good healthy relationship. I think sex is an added perk to a relationship, but not crucial to the foundation of it. I actually just got into an argument with one of my best friends about this very topic a few weeks ago. She?s been dating a guy for about 8 months and they f*ck like rabbits. It literally disgusts me how much they are all over each other, even if we?re hanging out as a group trying to watch a movie or something. She asked me how many times per week Jason and I have sex, and I answered honestly and said that sometimes we don?t have sex for a couple of weeks at a time. She was shocked and appalled by this and immediately started asking if everything was ok with us, etc. I got kind of defensive about it and started rambling off snarky statements like, ?You?ve only ever been in 1 relationship that has lasted more than a year, you don?t even have the right to question my relationship? etc. Jason and I both enjoy sex, and when we have it it?s great, but when we don?t, neither of us really miss it either. We?ll go through phases where we?ll have sex numerous times a week, then not have sex for 3 weeks straight. We?re honestly very best friends, and a kiss on the forehead or me pinching his butt does more for both of us than actually banging it out. Every relationship is different of course, but for us, sex isn?t a necessity.
Yupppp
You are not alone, I feel the same way. While I am frustrated with our sex life (hence my other post) we still have an amazing relationship. I don't feel that sex is necessary for us to have that relationship but it would definitely make things even better. We are the same way, we may go a week or more without having sex but that has nothing to do with our relationship it has to do with mismatched work schedule and sex drives and other life things that are going on around us.
Kearstin, Xan and Ashlee .... I like and agree with all of your posts.
I guess sometimes I feel like because we don't have such as much as others (friends, magazines, blah blah) expect that we should, that there could be something "wrong" with our relationship. But if it works, why fix it? We both agree that it'd be nice to have sex more often, but at the same time we both struggle to put forth the extra effort to make it happen. We both are pleasured when it happens but for us it's more about making the time for it to happen.
Xan, I love how your wrote that it's a perk. It seems that way to me too. I have a great guy who loves me, makes me laugh and is there for me to cry to, but he also can do these things for me (bedroom wise) that no one else can. Cheezy, but it's kinda special:O)
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermI've found that the people who talk/brag about sex the most have it/enjoy it the least. Seriously. I had a roommate who talked non-stop about sex. Every single thing somehow related back to sex. But she hated sex, and never enjoyed a second of it when she had it. Which was rare. And magazines like Cosmo and Glamour and whatever are basically advertisements to make you feel like you're less than, so that you will be whatever BS product they happen to be pimping that month.
So forget about what anyone else is (or isn't, more likely) doing. If you and your husband are both satisfied with the way things are, then that's really all that matters.