Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Uncomfortable sex
I have posted about this before. MH and have been together for almost 5 years and he was my first. We did it like rabbits the first couple years and then the excitement died off. I am not sure what caused it but from what I remember sex became more of a chore and I avoided it, then after that it became painful. It has been a coupe years since sex has felt good to me...even if I am horny and really really want it. I went to the dr. and had a pap/pelvic exam and every thing came back normal. I am now going to schedule an ultrasound to try and determine where the pain is coming from. Has any one had anything similar to this and cares to share their experience? It has not cause any friction in out relationship since we liven things up other ways, but I would love to love sex again. Thanks!
Re: Uncomfortable sex
You need another checkup by another gyn --- you might have vaginisimus, interstitial cystitis or perhaps you're not lubiing up enough.
My best friend began having painful intercourse and it turned out to be endometriosis. They were detectable through ultrasound. I hope your doctor is able to find a cause for your discomfort.
Good Luck!
This is possible; I can't pinpoint exactly when it was starting to hurt but we did have a dry spell when he worked over nights and I worked days. Sexxitime was hard to come by..I just don't remember when it got bad
I know I need to go in for an ultrasound (for some reason I have a feeling it's endometriosis...there is no basis for this, just a gut feeling) but I'm skeeeered.
i have this problem and for me lots of lube helps as well as starting reallllllly slowly..... like almost awkwardly slow..lol
we got a lube called "gun oil" that i really like..
I remember an episode in 'Sex and the City' where one of the girls said sex hurt. She found out that it had to do with her feelings ABOUT sex and as she became more comfortable with her body and sexuality, the pain was gone and she began to have fun again.
One thing to also pass along...Organic coconut oil, the kind you find in a health food store. This stuff is magic!!! Use it as a non-sticky, very long lasting lube, as a massage oil and great for manual work. Is a very mild antibiotic so it is fine for women who get infections a lot. I've never found stains and works into great relaxing back and body rubs. Try it!!!!!
This was the case with me; however, mine was not detected through an ultrasound. I ended up having laparoscopic surgery where they found it and burned it off. It has since came back but I haven't had another surgery yet. All of my paps/pelvic exams have been normal since the first one I had so that isnt reason enough to believe there is nothing wrong.
Do you have any other symptoms? Are you on BC? My dr has me taking BC 3 months back to back to manage the growth of it. It cant hurt to get a second opinion if your dr doesnt want to run any tests.
I would definitely recommend following up with your OBGYN for that ultrasound, but as a Pure Romance consultant I would first recommend that you use a quality water-based lubricant. From our product line I suggest "Just Like Me" to customers because it's flavorless, colorless, and odorless, and it's pH balance to work with your body as you become naturally aroused-so it will re-wet itself as you become naturally aroused so you are less likely to dry out which can make things painful and lead to vaginal tears.
There was also a study that showed that women need anywhere from 14-45 minutes of foreplay in order for their bodies to not only mentally, but physically prepare for intercourse-so even just finding ways to incorporate more foreplay time may help.
If you're short on time, using an arousal cream may help. Basically it uses mint oils as it's active ingredient to increase blood flow to your clitoris which helps speed up your arousal/libido.
If those don't work, you may want to try a Vaginal Dilator Set. Here's info from the Pure Romance website:
"Vaginal dilators are used to gently stretch out the vaginal tissue over time. They are usually soft, smooth, and come in graduated sizes. Women use vaginal dilators for a number of reasons. Certain medical conditions, treatments, and surgeries can narrow the vagina, decrease the elasticity of the vagina, or cause genital pain.
Using dilators can help make sexual intercourse more comfortable. Some women may need to use dilators to help stretch the vagina to make it easier for health care professionals to examine the vagina and cervix as part of on-going medical care.
Pure Romance?s Vaginal Dilator Set comes with an instructional booklet to help answer many of the questions that women have regarding the use of a dilator set. However, this booklet is to be used in conjunction with the directions from a health care provider. If you have customers that think they could or have been told they could benefit from the use of a vaginal dilator set, they should follow the instructions of their health care provider, who will lay out a routine that is specific to the woman, her body, and her vaginal health. Every woman is different and there are many different reasons why a woman would want/need to use vaginal dilators. "
Hope all of this rambling info helps!
Sex is typically some side of uncomfortable for me, and I've had doctors tell me that it's probably because of my shape (angles differently). This means that I have to do a lot of manuevering to get comfy.
Have you been checked for bacterial vaginosis? This can cause discomfort.
I am a Registered Nurse and think it is important that you know that endometriosis can only be diagnosed through laprascopic surgery, not through an ultrasound. Secondly, if it is endometriosis, the treatment is usually to take Birth Control pills, so if you are already on them, then that's probably not the problem.
Painful sex can stem from psychological issues, such as body insecurities, inability to achieve orgasm or having a low sex drive. I agree with several of the responses that the more you have sex, the less it will probably hurt. It is definitely important to have good lubrication and it is also very important to spend more time with foreplay, as this can help the muscles relax and help the body prepare for sex.