So it turns out I have the nasty bacteria that most people with CF eventually culture, and it is very hard to get rid of and is responsible for a lot of the decline in lung function that most people with CF get. (And this is not even what I am upset about...well, I am a little, but that's not what's making me want to cry).
I've had it before, and we've gotten rid of it before. If you catch it early, you can sometimes get rid of it. Soooo, my doctor wants to hammer me with antibiotics. And the best antibiotics.
What am I upset about? I can't nurse Lily while I am on this med. I am going to be on it for 10 days. She won't take a bottle, so we're really stressed about how this is going to go (but she does great at drinking water out of a sippy). I'm afraid she is going to look at me and cry because I can't nurse her, and I know she isn't going to understand why I won't let her nurse. I am afraid she is going to lose weight. And I am really afraid that she is going to wean. I'm afraid that I won't respond to the pump and will loose my supply. And I don't have a freezer stash because I was sick of throwing away milk that she wouldn't drink out of a bottle, so she's got to have formula. Which I am okay with, but the doctor said she may not like formula and we made need to start her on whole milk a little early. And then her doctor said babies usually won't go back to nursing after they've had whole milk.
But, of course, my brain knows it's more important for Lily to have a healthy mom than to nurse for a few more months. For some reason I have major issues w/ breastfeeding and get super emotional about the idea of weaning. I had all these visions of nursing her until 18 months or longer.
Re: Ugh...I am so upset
I can't relate to BF worries and emotion, but please, try your best to be a healthy; not stressed mom so you can get better soon.
Wow. This is a lot to have on your plate.
You are totally right to know that Lily needs a healthy Mom. And I totally understand that you would also feel differently than your brain thinks.
If it makes you feel any better, my niece nursed after she was weaned to whole milk. It was how she went to sleep, actually.
And if Lily can drink out of a sippy cup, can she drink breast milk out of a sippy cup?
You're going to make it through this-- and so is Lily. You both have a very strong bond. Hang in there! Big hugs!
I'm sorry you're going through this! It's a very scary prospect for sure and so stressful as a nursing mother. We weaned at 14 months because of my radioactive iodine treatment - it was bittersweet because in some ways I was ready to be done, but in others I thought I might nurse him for 18-24 months. At that point it just made sense to wean, but at your point, I totally would have wanted to get through those 10 days too.
I think there's a lot of hope for your situation, and I bet you can get through it. Chances are you'll be fine pumping and dumping - maybe it won't be as much as she would nurse, but enough to keep your supply up. And then hopefully it will adjust back to what she needs when she starts nursing again. Marcus started incorporating whole milk into his diet at 10 months - it's earlier than most, but our pedi said it was fine to start transitioning him. He still definitely preferred breast milk by bottle or by nursing to whole milk right through 14 months. I bet she'll pick up right back up once you're able. I think the hardest part is going to be the emotional piece of not being able to nurse her when you both want to. I'm sure it's going to be very frustrating and emotional for both of you, and I'm so sorry you have to go through that. Maybe try to do a lot of emotional connecting in other ways like wearing her a bunch, doing skin to skin in the bath or shower, etc. - these were suggestions I heard from some women who were weaning due to pregnancy etc.
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
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I just want to hug you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this
Lots of get-better T&Ps for you and don't-wean-yet T&Ps for Lily!!
This is the part to focus on ... as hard as it is ... and I know you know that!!
Aww huge ((hugs)) to you - being a momma isn't easy, that's for sure. You hit the nail on the head that a healthy mom trumps everything else, and that you should go ahead w/ the antibiotics asap. Just because it makes sense logically, doesn't make it easy emotionally.
I had to wean Jake when I went on amoxicillan because he's allergic to it. Even though I was really close to being ready to wean, it still stung and made me sad so I can only imagine how upset you are. Hope you're feeling better soon, and you never know - the pumping/bottles/sippies may all work out and you might have no issues at all. Fingers crossed!
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
I am late to this, but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry you have to deal with this...but I agree, it is imperative that you are healthy, and that's got to take priority. It is possible that Lily will go back to nursing and that your supply won't wane, but if she doesn't, you should congratulate yourself for making it this far. 10 months is a great accomplishment!
Ditto the idea to give Lily formula (or whole milk) in a sippy cup. She's so close to age one, it doesn't seem worth it to introduce a bottle at this point, especially if it's going to be a battle.