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grumbling coworker
My coworker was offered a full time position at the place I work per diem. The position was never advertised and I was not asked to apply. She has seniority over me (by 8 months or so) & I don't question the managers decision to hire her but I was definitely jealous when it was announced. I really like my job and I would do pretty much anything to get a full time offer.
My issue is that this coworker who took the job can not stop complaining to me about it. Everyday that we work together she tells me how tired this job makes her and how she doesn't get to see her kids as much. During the first week, I offered her sympathy but now that it is continuing for a second week, it's really annoying. I work even more hours then she does (I have another part time job in addition to working per diem), I don't see my family as much either & I'm tired (as I'm sure most of the working world is) but you don't hear me complaining. If it makes you this miserable, why did you accept the job?
What would you say to get rid of the negative energy she brings with her? She is definitely well qualified for the job & I want to maintain a good professional relationship with her but I need the constant grumbling/complaining/whining to stop. It's really starting to wear on me.
Re: grumbling coworker
I can totally understand where you are coming from. I am a temporary teacher so, when all of the teacher who will have a job next year complain about furlough days and lost wages, I want to scream "at least you know you have a job".
I think in your situation, I would try to remain positive when you talk to her. In a non-condescending way, ask her about the things she likes about being full-time.
I would say "have you thought about going back to part time? Maybe that would work better for you and your family." Repeat every time she complains.
Either she will stop talking to you about it, or she will go back to working PT, and you can get the FT job.
Although, maybe if she knows you are jealous, she may be "complaining" as a way to say "see, this isn't as great as you think it is, do you don't need to be jealous."
How did you handle her negative energy before she went FT? Or is this a direct result of the change in status? Because if it is, it sounds like she's trying to sympathize with you, knowing that you're still PT and you wanted a FT job, or perhaps she was alerted to the situation by your boss and now feels awkward about it and this is how she's coping.
Other than showing her how happy you are to be PT (which you're not) I'm not sure how you'll get her to stop. I'd recommend that if you're close enough that you can have a frank conversation, to tell her exactly what you said here-she's qualified for the job, and you want to maintain a good professional relationship, and that you're not holding her status against her. GL!
I know it's annoying, I've been in a situation almost identical to yours so I have sympathy for you, you just want to tell her something to shut her up but then you work with her and don't want to build a bridge but it's eating your soul. I'm not working right now, I'm looking for a job and I am dealing with an ex-coworker who was just handed a new job because someone he knows knows someone who is looking for someone (without spending the time to look for a job) and all I hear about is that "he was expecting more...wishes he could get excited..." and honestly I have no sympthay for him when I spend hours and hours on job applications I never hear about..I just want to tell him if it's not what you want then go apply for one you like.
My advice is to just ignore her. I know it's easier said but try to ignore her and go on about your job. Some people have the need to have drama in their life and if there isn't any, they make it up. You don't know her motives, she might be saying those stuff because she senses you want to be in her position OR she's just one of those people who is never happy!