Rhode Island Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
help! power struggle city..
Anyone know of any good books on how to diffuse power struggles with Preschoolers?? Em has always been a strong willed little person but it's getting out of hand. She has totally taken the wheel over here and we need to get it back!! And SOON! Everything is a fight. And it starts first thing in the morning. No wonder I keep screwing up my neck, it's all stress related. I actually felt my neck tightening up while I was still laying in bed this morning while she was going on and on. HELP!
Re: help! power struggle city..
I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this :-( We have a VERY strong-willed little girl, but unfortunately I'm not a huge fan of (nor do I have time to read) too many parenting books, but one of the most helpful things I've learned along the way is to give 2 or 3 options for something (all options you can live with) and let DD choose 1 - that way, she can still feel like she's in control because she's making the final decision, but you also have some control. I've found with DD that we have to be very clear about what we expect from her and if she doesn't do what we expect, then there is a consequence and it has to be consistent. For example, this would be our preparation for a Target visit: Me: "Bella, we're going to head into the store now, you can either sit in the big part of the cart or the top seat..which would you like?" Bella: "No! I want to walk!" Me: "Well, today your two choices are sitting in the cart or in the seat, if you can't pick one of those we won't go in" Bella: "ok, I'll sit in the big part" Me: "Thanks for making such a good choice!" (praising when they make the right decision has been a big help to us) Me: "Now, when we go in the store, there will be no fussing. The minute you start to fuss about something we will leave - do you understand?" Bella: "ok" Then, if she does start to fuss, you absolutely have to follow through. Most of the time, I will give her one reminder, like if she she's something she wants and starts to get loud, I'll say "remember, if you start fussing we will leave." and usually that's stops it.
I digress....seriously, I've found that providing options and letting her pick has been the biggest help. But I totally know what you're going through and how stressful it is. It also (at least for us) puts the whole family in a bad mood and is no fun. Oh, and the other thing that works for us is that if she throws a tantrum about something, we pay no attention to her any more - we let her scream and cry for as long as it takes.....and sometimes it takes a LONG time!!
Anyway, I hope some of this has helped, but mostly I wanted you to know that you're not alone ;-) and I know how much it sucks!! God, when people said 3 was worse then 2 I didn't think it could get worse....well, it did and now I'm just hoping that 4 is better!! Good luck!
I've heard really good things about The Nurtured Heart Approach.We were trained in it at the preschool I taught at and the whole Central Falls,RI school department is actually being trained in it even though it is a parenting method.
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=the+nurtured+heart+approach&tag=googhydr-20&index=stripbooks&hvadid=1499980001&ref=pd_sl_20hp6e10bf_b
i just started this book http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003LSTAMW/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title
i saw some article that was talking about it and i liked what the author said
No book recommendations but I am watching this post...STORY...OF...MY...LIFE with Miss Lily!
I have not books but giving them a choice is your best bet, they feel like they have some control. For example, C likes to pick out her clothes..sometimes she does a great job, sometimes not. I like to pull out 2 outfits and then ask her which one she wants. Same thing with food...you can have a turkey and cheese sandwich or tunafish?
Good luck
UGHH!! Responding on Facebook because this board is driving me nutso. Anyway..I ordered the book Corry suggested and the workbook that Sarah suggested. I just need a clear cut strategy to get control again!! Hopefully we can figure something out soon because otherwise there will be a 4 year old for sale!! ugh