Would you say anything?

angi1015 · April 2011

While we were gone I spilt the time up as best as possible for B2 between my parents and the ILs.

ILs had B2 all day Weds while we were at work, then they kept him overnight thru Friday at 4pm.

My parents were supposed to have B2 from Friday at 3 till Sunday at dinner time. And then B2 was supposed to go back till Tuesday when we got home.

My Mom called my MIL on Sunday to make arrangements for after dinner and my MIL told my mom this:

"I'm am so glad you called. We are on our way to Costco, so we are coming to get him."

It was 11am. My mom is not the person to say boo to a fly, so she didnt say anything to my MIL. But when I talked to my mom, she brought it up and I can tell her feelling were hurt by it. I mean my ILS jipped her a whole day with B2.

I get that everyone loves B2 and everyone wants to spend time with him. But I also know if it were my mom doing that to MIL, she would say something to me or B about it.

I feel as thou I need to let MIL know what went down wasn't cool and she hurt my mom's feelings. Then on the other hand, I feel I don't need to have two people with hurt feelings.

Would say anything?

nbecker2284 · April 2011

I would start by asking her about why they needed to pick him up so early when your parents were supposed to have him until dinner on sunday. I'd also ask her if she thought to ask your mom if she had made plans with B2 for the day. Then I would just tell her that I know everyone wants to spend time with him but you want to keep it as even as possible and that in order to do that, everyone has to stick to the same plan sort of thing. I dont see a problem in letting her know but your mom should have said something to her when she called. I know that for us, my parents ALWAYS have TJ. They take him everywhere and I don't mind one bit. My MIL hardly ever comes down to visit and I won't let her take him anywhere. I hope things go ok when you talk with her!! let us know how it goes!

angi1015 · April 2011

The more I thought about and talked with my mom about it this morning, it sounds like my dad is the one who is more upset. My dad hardly gets to spend time with B2 b/c of his work schedule.

Like I said, my mom would say boo to a fly and my dad hates confrontation. So neither of them would have said anything to her.

My other issue is, B2's birthday party is Sunday and I really don't want there to be issues. Again, not that there would be b/c my parents wont say anything, but I dont want my parents to feel uncomfortable or feel like they are pushed to the side.

Ugh. I swear, it's always something.

nbecker2284 · April 2011

Ok so maybe next time the IL's are supposed to get B2, maybe offer it to your parents instead? Its hard to make everyone happy, but as long as B2 is spending time with both sets of grandparents then thats all that should matter, but I know its not that easy. Maybe after the party, just nicely tell the IL's that if there is a next time like this, that they need to follow the plan you had, because that way everyone gets to spend time with B2 and everyone is happy. If she asks, just tell her your parents had made plans with him, but then they couldn't do anything because they picked him up. If everyone acts like adults, it shouldn't be too bad...right?? lol. Either way and whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out. I also hope B2 has a wonderful birthday party!!!

~Jen · April 2011

I would say something like Thank you so much for watching B2, it really helped us out (or whatever). However, in the furture if we do something like this and the time is split btw the families, could you please try to stick to the schedule a little better.. it really isn't that big of a deal, but I know my mom and dad were disappointed because their time with B2 was cut short and I know you didn't mean anything by it and were just getting him because you were already running out, but they just were really looking forward to spending a little more time with him.... I would think something like that would go over ok. However, I would also tell your mom and dad that next time, they need to say something and if they don't stand up and say something, then you don't want to here about them being disappointed! (you shouldn't have to be put in the middle)

nbecker2284 · April 2011

~Jen:
I would say something like Thank you so much for watching B2, it really helped us out (or whatever). However, in the furture if we do something like this and the time is split btw the families, could you please try to stick to the schedule a little better.. it really isn't that big of a deal, but I know my mom and dad were disappointed because their time with B2 was cut short and I know you didn't mean anything by it and were just getting him because you were already running out, but they just were really looking forward to spending a little more time with him.... I would think something like that would go over ok. However, I would also tell your mom and dad that next time, they need to say something and if they don't stand up and say something, then you don't want to here about them being disappointed! (you shouldn't have to be put in the middle)

This is exactly what i was trying to say lol!!!

~Jen · April 2011

nbecker2284:

~Jen:
I would say something like Thank you so much for watching B2, it really helped us out (or whatever). However, in the furture if we do something like this and the time is split btw the families, could you please try to stick to the schedule a little better.. it really isn't that big of a deal, but I know my mom and dad were disappointed because their time with B2 was cut short and I know you didn't mean anything by it and were just getting him because you were already running out, but they just were really looking forward to spending a little more time with him.... I would think something like that would go over ok. However, I would also tell your mom and dad that next time, they need to say something and if they don't stand up and say something, then you don't want to here about them being disappointed! (you shouldn't have to be put in the middle)

This is exactly what i was trying to say lol!!!

LOL :-) I think we were both typing our response at the same time. Also, here = hear (I hate when I don't proof read first)

angi1015 · April 2011

Thanks! I'll say something tomorrow and let you know how it goes.

Would you say anything?

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