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WWYD - shower for 2nd marriage?
Hi ladies - I'm conflicted about a shower I'm invited to for my cousin's fiancee. Said fiancee has been married before but her husband died in a plane crash (they lived in a rural area and he was flying a small plane doing crop dusting I guess). However, this is my cousins first marriage. I feel kinda strange going to a shower that is being thrown for someone who has been married before but it is also sorta for my cousin who hasn't been.
Should I just go with the mindset that it is for my cousin and not for his fiancee? It is going to be a tad awkward as well because she has not attended a single family gathering since she and my cousin started dating 2 years ago save for my uncle's funeral (cousin's dad) and even then, she really didn't talk to a single person despite our best efforts to get to know her. It just feels really gift grabby to me because of the already married thing and the total lack of effort to get to know any of us.
Re: WWYD - shower for 2nd marriage?
MY BLOG!
Ya as soon as I saw that her husband died in an airplane crash I felt really bad for her.... maybe she is not social because she doesn't feel comfortable? Maybe it is hard for her to open up since her husband died and that's why she hasn't gotten to know the family? Maybe she's enbarassed by the fact the family knows she has been married before and this is her 2nd marriage? Ok yes, I think it's crappy that she hasn't made an effort...but it seems as though she's been through a lot and maybe she just takes a little longer to come around? I would go to the shower but bring a small gift and try to make her feel as welcome as possible....at least for the sake of your cousin.
If you feel like you might try or want to have a relationship with her, then I would go and bring a small gift & nothing more.
Otherwise, I would just sent a card & a sorry I already have plans or something.
I'm kinda mean like that, though. hehehehe
Thanks ladies - the second marriage part doesn't throw me as much as the not talking to people thing does. Due to us paying ALL of our taxes this week (property, state, and federal... in full!! hooray!), I can't afford anything extravagant to begin with. Small and simple it will be.
I'm also curious how the whole thing will go down. One of my aunts who is a total piece of work and not in a good way is throwing the event at a local restaurant at one in the afternoon. I'm not sure if she a) realizes that if you invite people to an event at a restaurant etiquette dictates that you pay or b) she realizes this and threw it at a strange time so that nobody would eat. Either way, it could be a really interesting day.