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officaially seperated (long)
I guess I knew it was coming but now its official. DH left Monday and I haven't seen or heard from him since. Even though he only took some clothes with him everything else is still at our house. I am assuming he will have to call sooner or later. Even his cell phone is at the house. I have been told he is staying at his parents. I guess now my question is when will he call?
I went yesterday and talked to my lawyer just to see what I need to be doing. I have two police reports for domestic distrubance issues that have happened in the last two months and he got a DUI earlier this month. I went to the police station and picked up both of the reports and went on and filed them with my lawyer. My lawyer told me I am better off waiting it out a little bit and see what happens. Best case scenerio he files for divorce then he has to pay court cost instead of me or he has some time to himself realizes he needs help and goes to rehab.
My lawyer did say he thought it would be best if I didn't call him and let him make the first move. Regardless if the first move is coming to talk or coming to get his things. Eventually he will have to come get his things. Its hard to sit back and do nothing, but I know I have to be strong for my boys.
Re: officaially seperated (long)
I'm sorry. I know this must be so difficult. I know you will do the best thing for your cute kids.
ps. Whatever help your DH needs I hope he gets it. You need to take care of yourself, and your kids. Make sure you get copies of all your financial records and any other documentation.
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
I'm sorry to hear that. I really hope he does get help.
Good luck with everything!
I'm sorry. I hope he gets the help he needs so he can be involved with the boys. Take care of yourself and the boys, I'm glad you have your lawyer involved at this point.
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I was actually thinking the same thing. Know we are all here for you and that he does get the help that he needs. Big hugs.
Crystal, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope your DH gets the help he needs and you and the boys are in my T&Ps.
Crystal,
I'm so sorry all of this is going on all at once. I also hope you're safe. Please let us know if there's anything we can do.
I am confident he won't hurt me or the kids, but a few weeks ago when he left he acted really stupid and busted a hole in the living room wall and punched my car and cracked my windshield. My moms boyfriend was at her house (which is right next to mine) and he got scared and called the cops. Which I can't blame him. They of course legally had to do a write up on it since it was reported, but it was my choice to press charges. I did not press charges but they also told me I have 90 days if I change my mind.
Then before he left this time he broke 2 of our dinning room table chairs and busted our glass screen door. I was standing on the inside of the screen door a few feet back and he was walking out the door and just turned around and punched it. It shattered everywhere and cut me up a little but nothing major. Mostly made a mess. I called the cops at that point (which I feel quilty about now) but in my heart I know its time to quite ignoring his problems. I did go get the reports, but I have not decided ;about pressing charges or not. I want to do whats best for my kids, and I hate for him to go to jail. I am afraid it will only make him madder at me and he won't come see the boys.
Thank you for all the support. None of my friends and family know anything. Only my mom so I am just trying to keep a smile on my face so nothing is suspected.
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
I'm so sorry you and the boys are going through this. ::Hugs::
It sounds like you have a great lawyer who is giving you some really good advice and support. I was also glad to hear you have documentation of his DV and anger issues, it will be good leverage in your case.
I really hope that this is his rock bottom and decides to get help. If you need anything we're all here for you.
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
Crystal - I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I'm concerned with a couple things. You say you are confident he would never hurt you or the boys. Please be careful. He wasn't like this before, right? He could be escalating in his anger. I'm not trying to frighten you, but want you to be safe.
Also, you say no one knows and you're putting on a brave face? I agree that it is no one else's business, but please don't be ashamed about what's going on. None of this is your fault. And don't let any of your actions be guided by not wanting to make him more angry. This is about you and your boys.
We are here to support you. Stay safe.
Thank you so much for saying this. I needed to hear that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this Crystal.
Please also don't feel guilty for protecting yourself and your boys, calling the cops and pressing charges if you need to. Your safety is #1. Take care and keep us posted.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
Crystal-
I am so so sorry. It's hard to go through this for sure. If you ever want to talk PM me. I know you have kids, stay strong for them.
{hugs}
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