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Not TTC
My husband works in the construction industry, his job doesn't pay regularly. They are three paychecks late and although we have medical insurance, we can't use it because his company isn't depositing the money they are supposed to in the HSA account. They're supposed to deposit $2500 a year and haven't deposited any since 2009. Basically, we've been paying for our healthcare out of pocket. I have a chronic illness and need regular medical care which has not been available to me because we can't afford to go to the doctor.
He said he was going to try to find a job at the beginning of 2010 and applied to two. He didn't get either of them and didn't apply for another one (even though there were others to apply to) until Monday, April 14th, when we found out that we were going to be four paychecks behind.
I am trying to finish my education, as well. I flunked out because I was not accommodated and school literally made me ill. I thought that that was the end of it (I only have 24 credits to go) and was planning on trying to concieve beginning in February, according to the agreement we made when we got married. I got a second chance at finishing my degree and now am back in school.
I write all this for background information. I used to have a really high sex drive and now I am avoiding it. It's like, what's the point. We're not trying to have a baby even though I am the healthiest I have been since before I started to get sick. I have a lot of guilt that this could be our chance to have a normal pregnancy and I am choosing to finish my education. I don't know if my health will hold up (I am in remission now) or if I'll flare up and not be able to get off of my meds again.
I am also angry with my husband for not even trying to get another job. Even if I had already graduated I would choose not to have a baby now because we literally cannot afford it. And he hadn't applied anywhere from January 2010 until now.
I guess I just needed to get that off of my chest.
Re: Not TTC
So, sex is only for procreation? Huh. Ok.
Your DH is being immature and irresponsible.
You can't get steady paychecks. Which is key to supporting a child. And your spouse, FFS.
Though, there's no reason to feel guilty for furthering your education instead of TTC.
*procreation
(Who write recreation instead of procreation?)
The fact that they're 4 paychecks behind is illegal and you should call your local chapter of NLRB(National Labor Relations Board).
Sex isn't just about procreating, it's also about connecting with YH on another level. However, the fact that he's acting so immature would make me not want to connect with him either. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to finish school before having a baby. That's being responsible in my book, which is the way a parent should behave.
Um...Is this HSA something that you are contributing to by deductions from your paycheck? I had an HSA at old job and I contributed a smalll amount of paycheck in it. Then get reimbursed by it when I have a medical expense....is that what it is? Believe me...I'd have taken action if I had been about to hit 2 paychecks behind AND when I found that I could not use my health benefits that were (I assume) promised.
Then where has your money been going for 2 years? They basically have stolen it from you if it's been two years since they put money in it. Also, it is illegal to be behind in paychecks. Why wouldn't either of you take legal action?
Sex isn't just to TTC. It's part of a healthy relationship. But it sounds like stress and financial worries may be the reason you aren't so into it lately. But you need your intimacy with him now more than ever if you are going through a rough patch.