Northern California Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Obsessing over my wedding months ago
Is anyone obsessing over little details and things that weren't exactly perfect at their wedding? I am. I also find myself comparing my wedding, and photos, to other brides.....is this crazy?!?
I'm regretting that I didn't spend more time shopping for the perfect dress and cringe when I see photos where I look less flattering than I should. I wish I had been more "present" and "in the moment" the day went by so fast. And I wish I didn't get upset over the hiccups of the day....the limo not arriving, etc.
Re: Obsessing over my wedding months ago
Donate to My Pancreatic Cancer Research Page
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. It's natural to compare, I suppose, but really what's the point? I'm most sad for you that you didn't feel present in the day and enjoy it for what it was, but don't make it even worse by now feeling bad about it after the fact! You had your day, your way, and someday those hiccups will just be funny stories.
The important thing, as trite as it sounds, is that you're married to your partner now. Focus instead on having a great relationship and life with him--not on whether one day could have been better. Be happy, and congrats!
I did this too. I had a beautiful wedding and when I look back now I feel great about it,. But even though I was trying so hard to be present and conscious I felt I made some big mistakes. When I looked back at the photos I realized I spent so much time trying to talk to "everybody" and make the out of towners and the people I didn't know feel welcome that I didn't spend enough time with my family and closest friends. In fact I had hardly any photos with them besides the formals. I felt horrible when I realized I had not really paid enough attention to that. You only have so much time though and I chose to dance a lot which was also part of the problem.
Also the dress, I think I also felt a little bit of dress regret, not because it was not flattering, it just wasn't totally "me". I jumped the gun a little on the dress because I didn't want to spend a ton of money. So I feel you. It fades over time when you realize you did the best you could, and you had a great time overall, and it was the day you married your DH, and of course that's teh most wonderful part.
For whatever reason, now I look back and love my wedding. I think it's just something you have to get past.
Personally, my most recurring thought after my wedding has been, "Thank GOD I don't have to do that again!" But I was never big into the whole wedding thing. I wanted the marriage.
Check out "What No One Tells the Bride" by Mary Stark. Sounds like it might help.
I did for a while. And certain things still kind of bother me. But in the grand scheme of things, I told myself over and over and over again that if at the end of that day I was married to my DH, then the day was a success no matter what else happened, because ultimately that was the goal, right?
I try to laugh off or just forget the things that went wrong and remember that nothing in life is perfect no matter how hard we try, and that's ok. Those will be the funny stories you get to tell your grandkids. There were a whole lot of new things for me to look forward to after the wedding, which helped fill the void of wedding planning too.
I think it's pretty common. I still get irked when I see some of our wedding photos. Shots that the photogs didn't get that were important to me and shots that didn't turn out all that well/I would have wanted done differently (e.g. different location). Hell, part of my *dress ripped* during the cocktail hour when someone managed to step on my bustle (we fixed it, no worries) and that still doesn't bother me at all, yet the photos do.
But I also know I should just get over it. Our wedding was absolutely amazing.
Something that might help? Do things to remind you of the parts of the wedding you loved, are proud of, and thought were perfect.
Women don't want to hear what men think,
women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice
We've been married for almost 9 years and I still get upset when I see pictures of my cake. It was the one big thing that didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. It didn't upset me to much the day of probably more now.
I definitely see other things that I would change, but then I remember that the way it turned out was who I was and what I liked at that point in my life. Those things change. When you're not in a crunch to make decisions anymore it's way easier to look back and think, hmm I should have done xy or z. When I think about my wedding I remember the limo incident (heater on full blast and could not get it turned off on a 105 degree day) that we now laugh about, walking through the double doors and seeing a room full of people that loved us and wanted to be there to support us, seeing my DH for the first time and his reaction to how I looked, our kiss, the toast DH gave to me at the reception, and driving away together in the car FINALLY married. Very little of that has to do with anything I picked out for the wedding.
I am in the camp of "thank goodness I do not have to do this again."
Of course there may be minor things I would have changed but overall, it went flawlessly in our opinion.
Thanks, everyone! I can relate to most of what was said here...mostly "Thank goodness it's over and went relatively successfully and I dont' have to plan that again!" I was a total stressball during the wedding planning process...it was crazy!
I can relate to the photos...some make me cringe, but I only had to pick the top 100 of 400 for the album and those top 100 turned out so beautifully
I'm going to try to focus on the beautiful aspects of the day. Great advice, thanks ladies
Tea Time for Lulu