Sex & Romance
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Overly Jealous? or Insecure?
Opinions! There are times where I do not feel attractive enough for my boyfriend. He tells me how gorgeous I am, how attracted he is to me, but I just never feel like he's telling me the truth. I've always had a less than attractive boyfriend until recently. Am I just not used to having someone attractive? I don't know what my problem is, I am usually not insecure about myself... Does anyone else ever feel this way? I am hoping it will pass once we get more "used" to each other... I hate when he sees me at night without make up, I feel like I am subjecting him to some sort of abuse! Really really eats at me though, not sure what to do.... 
Re: Overly Jealous? or Insecure?
OK I guess I should say that...
I feel like my bf is the hottest thing i've ever laid eyes on, and I am SO nervous he will leave me because he will realize how lame I am. So I try really hard to be super cute/hot/sexy but then I feel like I am failing no matter what I do! It's a horrible cycle... then I tell myself, "if you just lost some weight" so I work out all the time, and I still feel like ***. Now I am telling myself, "If you just got a tan...."... Really self?!! Self you are a moron!!
He obviously finds you attractive or he wouldn't be with you. That being said, I think most people go through this type of insecurity at one time or another. One important thing that I have learned is that CONFIDENCE IS SEXY! Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer. That is one thing that probably attracted him to you in the first place. Do not do things just to please him or be sexy ... do them because you want to. Bettering yourself for you is something that everyone can appreciate...that would be taking pride in yourself and confidence....what is sexier than that? You can also share these feelings with him. Some reassurance might be just what you need.
Sadly, I am old enough to know my thinking is stupid! I am 26.
He is always saying people are attractive though, like if it comes up in convo with his friends or even me. So maybe that is where it's stemming from... then I (of course) compare myself... and in my head I never seem to measure up to say, Kim Kardashian... sigh.
totally what i was thinking, but i can't be an insecure weirdo my whole life. he's a great person despite that whole thing.
How about just telling him first that it makes you insecure to hear him make comments like that about other women. That makes a lot more sense, to me, than just breaking up with him without ever even communicating about it. Some couples really have no problem making comments like that around each other, and it's entirely possible that he's been in previous relationships where that was the case, and just assumes that girls aren't really that bothered by it.
[This is, of course, assuming that he's just commenting on if he thinks a particular person is attractive, and not dwelling on it or making comments like he would date them or sleep with them if he could, or anything like that. That's definitely a no-no.]
Agree
Is Kim Kardashian actually hot? Yuck.
Don't compare yourself to anyone, but especially not any fake chick with a stylist and a makeup artist and all of that other crap. That sh!t will rot your brain out.
Eh. I wouldn't bother. Whether it bothered his previous girlfriends or not, IMO this is an issue of good sense and manners, not of whether or not it bothers you. If a guy is stupid enough to think that it's a great idea to tell his girlfriend how hot he thinks other women are, then I wouldn't bother trying to reform him into someone smarter than a bag of rocks.
I know what you mean about dating the under dogs, my last guy was kinda fat, kinda ugly but SUPER sweet. Things didn't work out, I lost interest b/c his communication skills sucked completely! my current guy is a great talker, so open, he is super accepting of everyone... so I think that's where his openness about women comes into play b/c he always wants to compliment and not make ANYONE feel bad about themselves... including less than stellar looking people - women and men alike... so he's not oogling women in front of me he is just vocal about things he likes .... "oh her hair is cute" ...or "whoa those shoes she has on are hot, you should get some"... then there's the stupid "yeah, kim kardashian is so hot!".... hahah.. but whatever, he's not being a jerk about things and making me feel bad on purpose.
I am hoping it passes, and I can start to feel like "myself".
This is confusing.
I think that both of you are contributing to this problem, not just one or the other.
First of all, I think that you are really insecure. I admit I feel insecure sometimes, but then I realize that I'm being hard on myself and I have to be realistic. So maybe I don't look like Kim Kardashian (although I don't think she's hot either but we'll just use her as an example), but I have other qualities that make me attractive. And DH loves the whole package so much that he decided that he doesn't want anyone else. Unless you're paying your BF to be with or something, he's with you because he likes you. He shouldn't have to convince you to accept that. You need to work on your own self esteem by going to counseling or else you'll always feel inadequate.
Secondly, maybe this just isn't the guy for you if his comments bother you. I wouldn't like it if my H felt the need to point out hot women or tell me that I need to start dressing like another woman. I find it tasteless and rude, and the fact that you've told him it bothers you and he still does it is even more tasteless and rude.
First, get some dang confidence!
Second, if you're already rolling your eyes at things he says, this isn't going to work out.
SMH.. that is absolutely ridiculous. I feel sorry for the people you dated simply to boost your ego.
Question " Overly Jealous or Insecure? "
Answer "Yes.
Why worry yourself out of something good? Why be a drama queen, need attention?
Take life's blessings and appreciate them instead of ruining them.