Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH Sex Vent/Ramble
DH & I have been in a bit of a slump lately, it's been almost a month since we were intimate last. I get that it happens in marriage, and maybe more often when there are small children involved, but I can't take the long gaps much longer. Over the last few days he's been saying "tonight's the night", then he falls asleep & nothing ever happens. The subject came up earlier & he said he's been tired, but also that I don't motivate him to come to bed because I'm wearing pajamas (pants). I'm trying really hard not to be offended by that comment because I'm the one that brings sex up 99% of the time. I've come to bed in t-shirts with nothing underneath & absolutely naked, but I guess he wasn't paying attention those nights. So tonight I'm putting DD to bed, taking a shower & putting on something that will motivate him. Wish me luck!
Re: DH Sex Vent/Ramble
This is fairly common of a problem on this board.
Have you spoken to him about this and had a very lengthy and honest talk about your sex life -- and how dissatisfied you are?
If you have not, I suggest you do so real soon.
I ditto this advice and your DD is adorable.
This part rubs me the wrong way. You need to motivate him? This is crap. Does he don a some ass-less chaps to "motivate" you? My guess is no.
Assuming your hygiene is good and your PJs aren't a ratty set from high school, I see no reason why you should need to jump through hoops to get sex from your spouse.
I've tried talking to him, but he usually shuts down after a while because it's a sensitive subject. He has gone to the doctor to make sure this isn't health related (it isn't), but I can't get a clear answer as to what's going on other than he's tired/stressed out.
The next talk we have will focus on how unsatisfied I am because last night wasn't "the night" either. He came to bed late then started acting silly (playing with my nose, making stupid comments) & that took me right out of the mood. I agree that I shouldn't have to jump through hoops for him, I'm just at the point where I'll try anything because I'm starting to feel that he's not attracted to me anymore.
Hi! I agree with PP that your DD is sooo cute.
Have you tried having sex at times other than at night before bed? I know you have a daughter, but maybe if you try doing it in the AM or on a lunch break or something... Perhaps having it be "unscheduled" would put some wind in his sails? My FH doesn't like "scheduled" sexy time, although sometimes it's a necessity.
I'll put it out there, either of you gaining weight? What are the household $ like? You a SAH and is house OK?
Normally, there is an underlying reason for not wanting sex. I got sick and tired of the hoops I had to jump through to get her interested. So I just stopped.