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help..
I feel like I get dumped on by my mom and brother. They're always telling me their problems...blah blah blah and I get so tired of hearing it all. I know this sounds selfish, but on my end I can stand so much of it. All the down talk really wears on me and their talk makes me worry about them constantly. I feel like if I let them know how I feel they'll feel like they won't be able to talk to me anymore. I love them both dearly with all my heart, but I feel emotionally drained from it all. Not to mention I'm a first time mom and dealing with a lot as it already is in my life. I've got my worries to tend to (thank goodness for dh) too.
I just don't know what to do 
It just makes me sad that I can't handle my problems plus their's. I know I can't have the answers to everything. I just feel like I carry the world on my shoulders.
Re: help..
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Sounds like they need someone to vent to. Try asking them "What do you think the best solution is" or "What are you going to do about it" to try to get them to come up with a solution instead of just talking about their problems.
If the problems are the type that are of a serious nature then maybe you could gently suggest a therapist. They would be more qualified to give advice than you are to their problems.
I think its ok to listen, but keep it to a limit of say 20 minutes, and then say Oh, sorry, but I have to do x now, or go to x now, talk to you tomorrow. X can be running an errand, an appointment, shopping, dinner, etc. Think of excuses to get off the phone. If they call back the same day, don't answer the phone, let the call go to voice mail. I know its going to be tough, but I would not be surprised if your Mother and Brother have other friends/family they call to vent their problems to, so they just end up calling other people, if they can't get a hold of you.
It would also help if you looked at your own motives for wanting to be their problem solver. What is your pay-off for being their rock and support? Because you have one.
In fact, you make it very clear that you want to continue to be the go-to, just not "so much" since their needs are so bottomless and you have new responsibilities in your life. It might be very tricky to manage the mixed message of "Come to me, just not so much ... And don't make me set the boundary, do it for me."
Yes, the reality is that if you encourage them to seek new and better resources they will need you less or not at all. You have to figure out why that bothers you so much.
This is great advice.
I was this for my mother for many years.
Why would it make you sad to not be able to carry your problems and theirs? They don't seem to care about not taking care of their own problems, let alone anyone else's.
It's not selfish to care about yourself above all else.
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