Maine Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When did you tell people?
I know it's early, but I'm so excited to be pregnant and I hate not being able to talk about it with friends and family. It's killing me! I understand why people wait and dh and I had planned to wait until the end of the 1st trimester, but that feels like such a long time!
When did you tell people? Am I crazy for wanting to tell my friends and family so early?
Re: When did you tell people?
What's BFP? I obviously need to catch up on pregnany/baby lingo!
My BFF knew immediately (before DH actually because it wasn't the timing we were planning and he was out of town all week and didnt want to tell him on the phone).
2 other friends knew around 7 weeks
Immediate family knew at 8 weeks after our ultrasound.
Extended family, rest of friends friends and coworkers at 12.
BFP = Big Fat Positive.
We also planned to wait until the end of 1st trimester, but that didn't happen. I called my sister immediately and my BFF. We came out around 9 weeks, because my morning sickness was getting the best of me. Like PP said, if god forbid something would have happened, I would have had a GREAT support system.
Kyle & I told our parents pretty much as soon as we could face-to-face. Since I had gone through a m/c previously and hadn't had the chance to tell them until after I lost the pregnancy, I wanted to make sure those closest to us knew in case something happened again so we would have them for support. I told a couple of close friends around the 8-10 week mark since Kyle was out to sea and I was looking for a little support, and then it was completely out in the open right around the end of 1st tri. I don't think I told work until I was somewhere around 5 months since I work with all dudes.
I agree that it is 100% a personal decision, and you and your DH should share the news when you feel comfortable. Just be sure that if you tell certain people first before the news is made public, they know to keep it under wraps- nothing takes the wind out of your sails faster than someone else (ahem, MIL) blabbing your news to mutual friends before you can!
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
http://cookthehumbletable.blogspot.com/
1. BFP = Big Fat Positive. There are tons of acronyms... EDD, MS, C/S, H&H, and a ton for the TTC process. I'm sure there are resources on the Bump to help decipher!
2. We told early, but not because we necessarily wanted to. I found out right around 4.5 weeks, at the very end of October. The following week we were planning on going to the Maine Brewfest with my parents- not so good for the preggo. So we knew we'd have to tell them since there was no possible excuse they would buy about why I couldn't drink. Because we were going to tell my parents and DH's dad was in town and visiting the previous weekend- the week we found out- we wanted to tell him in person since they live in FL. Then if I was going to tell my parents, I wanted to tell our siblings and my best girlfriends. And then because I'm a loud mouth, I told you guys on the Nest early. All of these groups found out by 6 weeks.
If the Brewfest hadn't been a sticking point, we would have told the parents and all around Thanksgiving when both sets of parents were at the table at our house. I would have been something like 10-12 weeks then. We waited until Christmas to tell the extended family when I was through the first trimester. I announced on FB shortly thereafter I think. I told work around 15-16 weeks- but might have done it sooner if my boss at the time wasn't such a tool. (Well, technically my current awesome boss was my boss then, but he was brand spanking new, so I had to talk to the weiner department head. I'd tell my current boss sooner- he's a family man and would be thrilled.)
My advice is that if you want to tell family now and you don't think it will cause drama, go for it. Ditto for close friends. My opinion is that it is a joy to be shared for sure, but if having to reneg if (god forbid) something awful happens will be 100 times worse than spreading the love, then maybe it's best to wait a little while longer. I'd avoid telling the wide world (i.e. Facebook) before you hear the heartbeat/ get through the first tri. I have a friend that told early and suffered a miscarriage, and it was awkward. She never even came out to say she lost the baby (because who wants to have to do that), but I sort of figured it out. Others didn't at first, and I'm sure that was tough.
Telling work is totally a personal decision based on how your work situation is. You will need to tell them at some point, but you are under no obligation to early if you don't want to or if you think it might endanger your job. (Yes, technically they can't do anything legally because you are pregnant, but I've heard horror stories of "other things" suddenly coming up out of the blue causing drama, when it was clear it was really about the pregnancy.)
Good luck either telling folks or trying to keep your secret a little longer!
I told my mom and dad within a day or so of finding out. Told my sister about a week later. Told most people around 10 weeks after our first U/S. My work knew about 12-13 weeks. Kept it off FB until 20 weeks when we found out what we were having.
DH told everyone that he worked with within 3 hours of the BFP.
I meant to elaborate on my post-- we chose to wait to tell family for personal reasons. DH and I decided that if we happened to experience a loss, it would be better for us to not include our families (and this is solely due to personal reasons from previous family history).
It truly is a decision no one can make for you! It's really hard to keep it from people and I loved sharing the news individually with everyone special to me.
My mom learned- I actually thought that when I got my period and so I didn't tell her for months. Also, my mom had gone thru several miscarriages and she actually respected that it was my news to share!
I also shut down my facebook wall for a few weeks until everyone I cared about knew. I didn't want my grandmother to find out before I was able to tell her in person (she's on FB).
Kyle & I told our parents pretty much as soon as we could face-to-face. Since I had gone through a m/c previously and hadn't had the chance to tell them until after I lost the pregnancy, I wanted to make sure those closest to us knew in case something happened again so we would have them for support. I told a couple of close friends around the 8-10 week mark since Kyle was out to sea and I was looking for a little support, and then it was completely out in the open right around the end of 1st tri. I don't think I told work until I was somewhere around 5 months since I work with all dudes.
I agree that it is 100% a personal decision, and you and your DH should share the news when you feel comfortable. Just be sure that if you tell certain people first before the news is made public, they know to keep it under wraps- nothing takes the wind out of your sails faster than someone else (ahem, MIL) blabbing your news to mutual friends before you can!
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
http://cookthehumbletable.blogspot.com/
I waited a few months after I got my period too before telling my mom too,,,because I was sooo embarrassed by it. When I finally told her, I asked her not to tell anyone, but 15 minutes later I heard her on the phone in her bedroom blabbing to one of her friends about how I got my period. Thanks mom. LOL
I like the idea of shutting down the facebook wall. Honestly, the people my mom would tell are people I am close to anyways, so I really wouldn't mind if they knew...I just worry about THOSE poeple posting on FB. hmmm I will have to talk to dh about shutting our FB walls down.
We agreed not to tell anyone for a while. I got him to agree to tell my BFF after my first appointment that confirmed I was pg. She has had 3 kids and I knew I'd need someone to go to with questions before I was ready to tell family and everyone else. Even the nesties were able to figure it out based on my questions before I told my family.
We didn't tell anyone else until 1 day before 14weeks. We had some scares with the threat of genetic issues - due to family history and my age - and we were hoping to wait to hear positive news on the munchkin's genetic health before telling, but circumstances didn't allow that timing exactly. I also had a "situation" at work where I felt my job was being threatened, so I told my boss the day before I told my own mother.
We felt that if we lost the baby, or had to make a tough decision based on early medical tests, that was something we'd prefer to handle ourselves - without the "help" or judgment of anyone else.
My BIL and his wife told family the night they took the test - her mother proceeded to tell the entire town of Camden - and people were congratulating her in the grocery store long before her first appointment with a physician! I've heard people comment on how she barely looks pregnant now - well, that's because she's way too early to show., but they've all known way longer than most people would... Be careful of that situation if it's a possibility. This isn't news you want EVERYONE knowing this early, even if all goes smoothly. It would be a loooooong 9 months with everyone around you knowing for so long.
My Wedding Bio! Not updated in a LONG time!
I told people on the nest when I was about 3 second pregnant. I told close family and friends at 8 weeks. I told random strangers at 14 weeks.
It's so personal - we told my parents & brother and my best friend & her husband the day after we found out w/ Jake. We told everyone else after we heard the heartbeat on the Doppler just shy of 11 weeks, because my OB told me the chance of the pregnancy continuing is 97% after that.
With Katie, we just told my best friend & her husband, and another good friend who was also pg. Other than that, we waited until 8 weeks to tell our parents (so we could do it in a fun way w/ Jake involved), and everyone else around 12 weeks since I was showing so much.
Do whatever you're comfortable with - congrats again!!
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
FYI - located to the left under 'my boards'
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/blogs/nest_baby_editors/pages/the-bump-community-glossary.aspx?MsdVisit=1
This is what my brother and SIL did for all three of their children and they felt the same way. I would really like to do this as well, though I am getting frustrated with the whole thing so when it does happen I may be too excited to wait that long!