Family drama- Re: Holidays (VERY long)

iheartcutepuppies · April 2011

So I will try to make this as nonconfusing as possible...but please keep in mind, I'm very long winded SoPassover starts Monday night and the first two nights are Seder nights for mostfamilies. Traditionally, we do one night with one family and one night withanother. Everyone is local.

A little annoyed at my familybecause originally my sisters in laws invited me/MH, my sister (obviously), andmy parents to their house for the first night of Passover?well long storyshort, they didn?t invite my grandmother /aunt/aunts bf right away (theyliterally live down the street from my sisters IL?s- but eventually they didyesterday) and my mother and father committed to the ILs but decided to backout to spend 1st night of Passover w/ my grandmother and crew. My grandmotheris older, she has eye issues right now and isn?t the most?how do I put it?warmand fuzzy grandmother. She doesn?t often like to eat at other people?s houses,either. All valid reasons as to why she is joining them instead?however thesituation just sucks now. And this is not the first time my mother (and I guessfather) pulled something like this.

So my mother tells me this? Well,it puts me in a sh!tty situation because I?ve already committed to my sistersILs. My mother says I can still go there. But then flip flops at the end of theconversation. And then says well I can do both places?.

So then, my grandmother calls mysister to ask for my phone number (um, she totally has it) and drops the wordthat my parents are now going to her house for the first night, mind you, mymother (or father) NEVER called my sister to tell her? So then my grandmothercalls me and asks me to come to their place acting stupid like she didn?t knowI was going to the ILs (which I think my mother told her anyways)?and tells mewhat she said to my sister (about my parents going to her house)?

Now mind you I am hormonal andnot reacting well to any of this, so I tell her I have to go. Literally 20minutes go by and then my phone rings again and it is my sister venting andb!tching about my mother and grandmother and the situation she is in now (whichI don?t disagree with) but I?m annoyed because she won?t buck up and confrontthe situation (typical for my sister and my mother?ugh!)? It puts my sister ina crappy situation because now she has to potentially deal w/ her ILs and herfamily who backed out of going. I kind of want to just say f&ck iteveryone, come to my house (shoot me). But my grandmother probably wouldn?t comeor whatever?.

I told my dad last night I amthisclose to not going to either place (we?re going to my ILs the 2nd night butI told MH there is no way I am doing their place 2 nights in a row?I just can?thandle it right now- my patience with people is kind of shot? luckily he didn?ttake it the wrong way?) My parents should not have committed to begin with mysisters ILs, OR they should have asked if they were thinking of inviting mygrandmother, because it?s important to my mother to spend it with her?know whatI mean? It just could have been handled much differently.

UGH!!!!

If you have made it this far?wow?youdeserve a cookie, a medal, a shot of tequila (for which I wanted in a reallyreally bad way after all this went down last night)?

Side: I may DD later on. I just needed to vent it out...

amethyst1220 · April 2011

I'll take a cookie

So what did u decide? It's tough but I'd prob go to sis's ILs since that was my first commitment. Sorry you have to deal with this

iheartcutepuppies · April 2011

I'm going to have to go to my grandmothers although I've not decided yet.

I will NEVER hear the end of it from my mother.

FML.

amethyst1220 · April 2011

Ah, gotcha. what's FML?

iheartcutepuppies · April 2011

fvck my life...

It's really not that bad but I'm being a drama queen ;-)

janda309 · April 2011

That does stink. Since you are going to IL's on Tuesday, can you do grandmother's on Monday or did I not get that right?

amethyst1220 · April 2011

iheartcutepuppies:
fvck my life...
It's really not that bad but I'm being a drama queen ;-)

thanks! And go right ahead!

LarissaAnn · April 2011

I'm stubborn. I'd uphold my original commitment and never let my MOTHER hear the end of it for ditching.

iheartcutepuppies · April 2011

janda309:
That does stink. Since you are going to IL's on Tuesday, can you do grandmother's on Monday or did I not get that right?

It's my sisters ILs; not mine.

And Larissa, unfortunately it's not as easy as that for me.

nchambers1123 · April 2011

Oh goodness! I would probably try to both as well, but that is a pretty crappy situation in and of itself.

I think you deserve a cookie! .. or 12 lol

LarissaAnn · April 2011

iheartcutepuppies:
janda309:
That does stink. Since you are going to IL's on Tuesday, can you do grandmother's on Monday or did I not get that right?
It's my sisters ILs; not mine.
And Larissa, unfortunately it's not as easy as that for me.

Don't kid yourself. It's not easy for me either. Two Passovers ago, I found out my sister was pregnant via text because my mother wouldn't stop being an @*** so I walked out before the seder where my sis planned to make the announcement. I walked out before my sister and BIL ever even got there. I still hate how I found out. It makes my stomach sick. But I had to make a choice. I chose not to just take bad behavior. I've done enough of that in my life and I'm done. I'm of value too, and I'm going to.stand up for myself and not let anyone steamroll me.

LarissaAnn · April 2011

LOL, not so easy to do two seders. It entails LONG readings and a bunch of ritual. Hours, some before and some after the meal. Different than something like Thanksgiving where you can just stop one place then another.

janda309 · April 2011

So it has to be one or the other? I'd go where your sister is going and stand your ground but that's me.

LarissaAnn · April 2011

Pretty much, unless she goes to.the other house after dinner, maybe and does that part there. It'd be a royal pita.

mlveynar · April 2011

I feel for you. Thankfully we don't have any extended family in town, but just dealing with our two sets of parents is enough. When we try to split days for holidays (like Easter), both sets get snippy that we can't be there the whole day. I hate it. I don't get why they can't be okay with what they do get.

Family drama- Re: Holidays (VERY long)

Re: Family drama- Re: Holidays (VERY long)

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