OMG, not that big of a deal, but vent

hz80408 · April 2011

Seriously, my frikkin MIL drives me up a wall!!!

For the millionth time (okay not really, but literally like 6th time) she just emailed me to be sure that we're not coming up for Easter b/c SIL and her husband are.

NOOOOOOOO we're not coming dammit!!

____

Anyone else have some vents to get out?

MC22 · April 2011

I do! Mine is Easter related, too!

We don't get to see my husband's family very often, so usually it's for birthdays, holidays, etc. We have always spent Easter Saturday with his family, and Easter Sunday with my family (his parents have both passed away, so SIL gets everyone together the day before).

Anyway, we got an invitation this morning to an Easter "eggstravaganza" that they are holding at their house on Easter Saturday for 40 people (who they are not related to...all friends, mostly our nieces' friends). It starts at 11:00, and goes until whenever the last guest leaves. They have this amazing pool, so all of the kids and teenagers will want to stay all night to hang out and swim. When all of those other people are around, SIL and our nieces can't focus on us, so Chris and I will basically be sitting there talking to each other the whole time, which we could do much more comfortably in our own home!

Anyhow, just a little (maybe a lot) irritated that it's one of the few times we get to spend time with them, and they decided to do this instead. SIL stays up most nights until at least 2 or 3, so for her, if everyone leaves at 10 or 11, there's still plenty of time for the family. Unfortunately, I don't stay up that late anyway, plus I'm seven months pregnant and really don't want to be out until midnight (and won't be!).

Fortunately Chris feels the same way about all of this.

Thanks for the vent post! I feel just a little better!

Boynton1286 · April 2011

I must say that this is the reason that I am thankful for working Holidays. We don't have to work any holidays anymore, so I am off on Good Friday, but since Easter is always on a Sunday and most people in our union don't work weekends, (with the exception of us) Easter was not bargained for as being a Holiday so we still have to work.

I love that I do not have to "pick" where we will go and at what time and all that BS. I hate this blended family stuff and I prefer to hang with my family but feel guilty not going to Lance's grandma's, but she can't have breakfast or dinner she insists on having the functon start at noon and then just having "finger food." I want a meal d@mnit!

She really irritates the crap out of me, she ruins the whole day with her sh!tty planning and only thinks of herself when planning anything. Example: Her birthday is near the 4th of July (not even sure of the exact date) but she will be 70 this year and she is convinced that she isn't going to live to be 71 (she is perfectly healthy). So she is planning a birthday party for herself and trying to plan a bridal shower for Lance's cousin that lives in Des Moines. Here is the kicker, they already have a shower planned for her in Des Moines that we are all invited to and there are less of us here than there are in Des Moines so it makes sense to have it there and that is where his cousin wants to have it. That is just not acceptable to grandma and it is taking everything I have to not tell her that it is Cousin's shower and she can have it in China if she wants, it is not grandma's decision.

This totally turned into a vent and that was not my intention, but I feel much better!

hz80408 · April 2011

Feels good to get it out doesn't it?

Xan921 · April 2011

It's hard having to deal with the blended family issue, huh? As girlfriends and even fiances, we could find a way out of certain things, but now as wives, we have to make it a point to see his side of the family too. Once we moved in together, we figured out our holiday schedule and said we're sticking to it no matter who has issues with it. We alternate Easter and Thanksgiving; we go to my family one year and his family the next. If there is time we see both families, but whosever turn it is that year gets the priority. We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my family (because we live in the same town as my family whereas his family lives an hour away) then we have Christmas dinner with his family. Mothers and Fathers Day we both go to our individual sides, and New Years Eve, Forth of July, Memorial Day, and Halloween we do whatever we want to and say screw our families lol. So far its worked pretty good but then again, neither of us really care if someone gets pissy if we aren't there for a particular holiday; they'll get over it Stick out tongue

Boynton1286 · April 2011

Xan921:
It's hard having to deal with the blended family issue, huh? As girlfriends and even fiances, we could find a way out of certain things, but now as wives, we have to make it a point to see his side of the family too. Once we moved in together, we figured out our holiday schedule and said we're sticking to it no matter who has issues with it. We alternate Easter and Thanksgiving; we go to my family one year and his family the next. If there is time we see both families, but whosever turn it is that year gets the priority. We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my family (because we live in the same town as my family whereas his family lives an hour away) then we have Christmas dinner with his family. Mothers and Fathers Day we both go to our individual sides, and New Years Eve, Forth of July, Memorial Day, and Halloween we do whatever we want to and say screw our families lol. So far its worked pretty good but then again, neither of us really care if someone gets pissy if we aren't there for a particular holiday; they'll get over it

I am thinking that this is what is going to happen with Fourth of July this year. I don't want to go to Des Moines for her shower because I have to go for her wedding and it is the weekend of our county fair (which makes me sound like a total hillbilly), but they have really good concerts and I am mad that I have to miss one for her wedding. I am also still mad at his grandma for ruining Memorial day weekend 2 years ago, I don't know why she insists on having things on Holiday weekends.

hz80408 · April 2011

Holidays are hard and since our parents are in the same city, sometimes I think that's even harder b/c we have to be "even" with our time and we're only there a short time plus we have friends to visit with too. Sometimes I wish our parents were in different cities!

rccola1981 · April 2011

MIL has not said a word about Easter to us! I told DH we should volunteer to have it at our house so I don't have to deal with his parents' dogs and he hasn't sent the message to suggest it...doesn't anyone realize Easter is in just over a week??? I need to know where we are going to be and when so I can finalize plans with my parents...

Jen72682 · April 2011

I've got a vent.....

We are having Easter at our house. Yay! It's our first time hosting a holiday so we are both excited...

My family ( I have 3 siblings), their dates; my parents; my uncle and aunt and their 3 children; my grandparents; and grandma are coming... We invited Eric's family. And they are not coming.

Eric is an only child and it will just be his parents and his aunt and uncle. So now his mother is making us go to their house for Easter. So not only do we have to entertain people, we have to kick them out in time for us to go to his parent's house. Keep in mind his parents live 15 minutes away from us, so it's not that big of a deal for them to come over. His uncle and aunt live 30 minutes away. So for 4 people we have to go have an entirely seperate meal.

I don't understand why his family can't celebrate with mine?!? I think it is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous! It totally makes me feel like my family isn't good enough. I've explained this to Eric a million times.... I just don't understand why we can't all celebrate together... Now we have to have 2 seperate meals... It's just ridiculous!

Ok... I feel sooo much better letting that out!

Jen72682 · April 2011

rccola1981:
MIL has not said a word about Easter to us! I told DH we should volunteer to have it at our house so I don't have to deal with his parents' dogs and he hasn't sent the message to suggest it...doesn't anyone realize Easter is in just over a week??? I need to know where we are going to be and when so I can finalize plans with my parents...

waiting to the last minute drives me crazy too! I totally feel for you...

MC22 · April 2011

Ah, family.

I guess I am fortunate that we always spend the "off day" with Chris' family. So, like, Christmas Eve, Easter Saturday, Thanksgiving Friday, etc. Like I said, his parents have both passed away, and his sister puts all of this together. It works out well, because she spends time with her inlaws on Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc., so my parents get us (which I very much prefer, and, yes, I know how selfish that is!) on the holidays, too.

We always spend the fun holidays (like the 4th, Memorial Day, and Labor Day) with our friends up at the lake. I think Chris is going to have a hard time this year since we'll miss all three of them - Carter doesn't need a lake experience that early in life!

Jen - if it were me, I'd be pushing back hard on that! That's crazy that they're making you kick that many people out of your house just to go eat another meal at their house when you can knock it all out together!!!

hz80408 · April 2011

MC22:
We always spend the fun holidays (like the 4th, Memorial Day, and Labor Day) with our friends up at the lake. I think Chris is going to have a hard time this year since we'll miss all three of them - Carter doesn't need a lake experience that early in life!

Jen - if it were me, I'd be pushing back hard on that! That's crazy that they're making you kick that many people out of your house just to go eat another meal at their house when you can knock it all out together!!!

Aww...that's true...but you'll have so much other exciting stuff going on!

Jen- I totally agree with Megan!

Patineuse1124 · April 2011

Jen, I wouldn't go to their event. You invited them to your house first, so they know you have plans already. You shouldn't have to end your party sooner.

For holidays we often do more with my family because DH's family are not planners and mine are. My mom tries to plan around our in-laws celebration (e.g., she is flexible with what time we eat on Thanksgiving), but when I ask DH what his family's plans are and they don't have any (even a couple of days before) then I say screw it and we do what my family plans and then fit his in if we can.

pondering_gal · April 2011

DH really upset me yesterday, to the point where I had zero desire to even talk to him.

Baaaah.

ead1975 · April 2011

Patineuse1124:
Jen, I wouldn't go to their event. You invited them to your house first, so they know you have plans already. You shouldn't have to end your party sooner.

Seriously. And besides the annoyance factor of them being jerky about it, are you really going to want to go somewhere else and socialize after you've played hostess all day? No, you're going to want to sit on your couch and not talk to anyone. I'd tell your husband he's welcome to go over there without you, but you're not going. Screw that.

My mom makes a big deal about me not going home for Easter every. year. Even though I haven't gone home for Easter in years. We don't have a car, and even if we did, driving 2 hours each way on a Sunday when I have to go back to work the next day doesn't sound like a holiday to me. She always tries to guilt trip me, but I just ignore her.

bonnyandtim · April 2011

I understand how you feel!

Yesterday, I was driving home to MI from TN, & we (me & my parents & sister) passed by my IL's exit. & DH was there right then, too.

They offered to drop me off there, & I was pretty in a hurry to get home, so I said no. Mostly, I knew that I'd be there FOREVER. Not that I don't like my in-laws, but they are retired & have all day to do nothing. All I wanted to do after being gone 3 days was un-pack, go thru my UPS shipment & pray no one stole it off my porch, & take a shower. I didn't want to rehash my trip to TN!

nfp147 · April 2011

hz80408:
Holidays are hard and since our parents are in the same city, sometimes I think that's even harder b/c we have to be "even" with our time and we're only there a short time plus we have friends to visit with too. Sometimes I wish our parents were in different cities!

Trust me, you've got it pretty good. My parents are 3500 km away!

hz80408 · April 2011

nfp147:

hz80408:
Holidays are hard and since our parents are in the same city, sometimes I think that's even harder b/c we have to be "even" with our time and we're only there a short time plus we have friends to visit with too. Sometimes I wish our parents were in different cities!

Trust me, you've got it pretty good. My parents are 3500 km away!

Aw, sorry!

DH wants us to move to Colorado, as much as I feel like maybe we should just go for it, I can't imagine being that faraway from our parents. My goal/thought is that I never want my kids to have to fly to see their grandparents on holidays.

OMG, not that big of a deal, but vent

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