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I am dreading Easter
I have doubts that I will be able to summon the stregnth to split my time on Sunday between my family and the ILs. The all day family time is really unappealing to me today.
Per my H our morning will start with 9am church service with MIL and then us providing a brunch at MILs and then just playing board games and munching on brunch foods- not so bad but just a lot BILs screaming at their wildabeast children.Then we'll head to my Moms for a big dinner but my sister wants my mom to invite her fiance's family. It's just going to be weird. I am just not ready yet for a "bam we're engaged his whole family needs to come over to our dinners now".
Other things that add to my anxiety:
*My parents and H's Mom live 3 miles from e/o so there's no way we can play the "it's too far, I don't want to spend the whole day in the car card".
*Today is the 1 month mark since FIL passed away and MIL isn't sleeping and her. She's not open to discussing her feelings with her children or anyone else for that matter. It's hard for me to know how to help her.
*We usually bicker when getting ready because of the stress about spending equal time at each place, this always makes me want to throat punch H.
I wish I could just spend the day in my pajamas with H and do what ever we wanted.
Re: I am dreading Easter
This is me all.the.time. I can't stand family time. I would rather listen to nails on a chalk board.
Why can't you? Guilt? I felt the same way until a couple years ago but got p*ssed off once and have started to tell family NO and that we will be doing our own thing. I guess it is easier for me because we live quite a distance from our family, but I would do this even if we lived next door. I REFUSE to travel all over the state of MI to eat a meal that I will most likely not enjoy. I am not super religious and feel that Easter does not need a family gathering. It is just another Sunday. Also we don't have kids, so I also do not need to watch the kids roam around looking for eggs.
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~ Stephanie & Jeffrey ~ 9.15.2007
I am really sorry.
I understand your feelings about not wanting to do the all day family thing. We are not doing that this year, and I am so happy!
Can you find a way to compromise and do like 2 hours of family time and the rest of the day is yours?
Holidays suck due to trying to please everyone. I want to be with my family every holiday, MIL sucks, and my parents invited her to Easter, so my enjoyable day turned crap in the matter of an email
This is going to be a hard year for DH's family. The firsts are always the worst.
Luckily, holidays are far and few between, and we only have to suck it up for one day here and there!
That sounds pretty intense, but also sounds like a lot of young family's schedules.
DH is on call so we are staying in alone, We like playing the 'on call' card for Holidays. MIL actually tried to get us to host I told dh no way. I actually prefer to travel than to host right now.
I hope it goes smooth for you guys with minimal bickering.
I'm really mad about it too.
My MIL hosts Easter at her house every year, so we get stuck eating there, in the middle of the afternoon. I asked my parents if we could stop over either in the morning or evening, and my mom got mad and said not to bother, just go to my IL's and that she and my dad wouldn't celebrate at all. HUH????
Add in the fact that DH works 24 hours on Saturday and 24 hours on Monday and won't get home until about 9am on Sunday and we've got a hot mess.
I hate holidays.
A+S | Met 8/24/06 | Married 9/27/08
Started TTC 12/2008 | dx PCOS 5/2009
6 failed clomid/femara/TI cycles, 1 failed clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycle
Successful Cycle: 5/12/11 - 1000mg Metformin + 100mg Clomid(late response) + TI = BFP
? 2/13/12 - We proudly welcomed our daughter, Hadley Teresa! ?
? Lots of Luck to all of 3T/IF ?
I dread every holiday. Seriously.
It was bad before we had kids and it's even worse now. I hear it all.the.time, "So and so hasn't seen the babies since _____ and Aunt Whoever is only going to be in town for 2 days and yaddi yadda." Guess what? That is not my problem. Maybe they should show some interest and visit more often? I'm not about to be driving all over SE Michigan just to appease someone for 2 hours. One year (prior to babies) we went to 4 different places on Christmas. 4 friggin places!!
Holidays are a very touchy subject with me, and I've had enough of the guilt trip.
This happened to us at Christmas. My Mom cried because I said I wasn't splitting my time between 2 houses this year and almost canceled her celebrations. I hosted my family Christmas Eve but Ma told my Sister that it didn't help because she didn't have her daughters together on Christmas. My Mom was spoiled my Dad's parents lived down south and died when we were very young so it was always us with her parents, never had to split time. I would love to merge families but H has a huge problem with "worlds colliding". I'm about ready to tell him STFU and grow up.
To make matters worse most of my nephews were never taught how to act in someone else house and they are that kind of family that breaks something in everyone's house every time they visit because no one ever taught them it's not okay to cage fight in the living room. I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting them to my parents house which is nice, clean and full of breakables.
Before I even got the end of the this I was thinking I hate, hate, hate guilt trips.
My IL's and my family as well are notorious for giving DH and I a hard time when we split up for events, telling us 'where is your wife/husband at? Doesn't he/she know they are family now they have to come". We both respond with the same thing "they are with their family who is probably saying the exact same thing to them right now." arrgghhhhhhhh!!!
I told dh he could make the rounds with our kid(s) to see the IL's and I will just go to my family stuff (and drink). Hee hee
I agree holidays are the worst. Last weekend we did dinner with DH's family. We told them and that point, we would be doing Easter with my family only since we did not want to go to 4 places, and they had no plans.
Plus we saw them last weekend, and we will see them them the wekeend after Easter for SIL graduation, and the weekend after that sometime for Mother's Day.
MIL replied, "well if they get you for you Easter, then we get you for Mother's Day, no sharing!" WTF like I wouldn't want to do something with my mom for mother's day. All that does is encourage me to not spend time with you....
UGH! I hear you ladies!!