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BFing ? for moms of 2+
If you didn't BF both kids, or BF for different amounts of time, did you feel guilt? If so how did you deal with it?
I BF Maya for 15 months with no supplementing. As you know, I've struggled with supply issues with Cam and have been supplementing since December. I struggled with the decision to keep pumping at work, but decided I would keep at it until I could no longer pump at least 1 bottle (6oz) for the next day. It seems that time is coming.
Weaning gives me feelings of sadness and relief. Sadness because I love the bond we share, breastmilk is the best thing for him, and I was able to give it to Maya (not to mention the financial factor of buying formula). Relief because I don't have to worry about pumping at work, stressing over how much I'm pumping, and the fact that I already have to take bottles and formula with us everywhere because even when I do nurse, a lot of times he's not satisfied and I have to give him a bottle afterwards anyway.
I know I can't make everything equal for 2 kids. That's just not realistic. But I can't fight this guilty feeling of not giving him this gift and feeling like this is the one thing I can and should be giving him. See, just typing this brings tears to my eyes 
Can anyone relate? Sorry for my constant whining on this topic.
Re: BFing ? for moms of 2+
I think as mothers we hear/read so much about 'breast is best' and 'liquid gold' and all of the goodness, so when we aren't able to provide in that way for our baby, we put all of that heaviness on ourselves (we did something wrong, our bodies failed, we didn't want to bf, etc etc!). We can have a hope or expectation of what the BFing process looks like, but it may not mean that our babies and bodies will follow. Many mothers are so hard on themselves for supplementing, not making it to a certain timeframe ... it's when the "all-or-nothing" thinking can create a lot of frustration. We give ourselves some pretty harsh rules, too. You wrote, "... one thing I can and should be giving him." Be gentle with yourself and know you will always 'n forever give both children precious gifts, and this one simply had a time limit.
As far as moving and healing through the guilty feelings ... I would encourage you to recognize that part of you feels guilty, but there are other emotions that may be stronger. Pride that you have been ultra-determined and stuck through a difficult period and continued pumping. Admiration that your body endured a lot through this situation, and is still providing nutrients for your little boy. A lot of what you described reminds me of grief -- not having what you once had -- like the closeness/bond. You will find a very similar closeness and connection, it just won't look the same.
You are so not whining!! It's hard to not recall the differences -- there will be a healthy balance in time
BFing is an emotional topic and I'm glad you can reach out for support. Take care -- let us know how you are doing.