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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWMNND? *Update*
She didn't talk to the V.P. and she didn't talk to Bus Driver. After school she stuck with a coworker in an area away from his bus and didn't make eye contact. For all he knows she never read the note. Unless he says something about it she doesn't want to speak to him. Done.
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Re: WWMNND? *Update*
Yes, I think talking to the VP is a good idea. Not necessarily to switch her bus assignment, but just so they are aware.
Then, I would suggest that she talk to the bus driver and say "Thank you for your note, but I'm sorry, I do not think of you that way." Just simple and nice, but clear.
We're kind of going out.
If she doesn't feel unsafe or threatened by him at all, I probably wouldn't talk to the VP at this point. The guy hasn't done anything wrong, he just asked her out in an awkward way and she's not interested. If he was cute, younger, and asked her out in a different way, she wouldn't be running to the VP to report that a bus driver asked her out.
She does need to respond, and saying that she has a a boyfriend won't help because it isn't the real reason she's not interested. She could just say that she's flattered, but not interested in talking to him outside of work.
Mr. Sammy Dog
I wouldn't even take it there. I'd ignore it or say, "Thank you, but NO."
Pretty please? That's really pathetic.
Agreed.
I'd want it to be documented just in case it gets creepy or stalkerish.
I think he was trying to be "cutesy" but yeah, it ends up looking pathetic.
I tend to agree with you that she needs to be FIRM with this guy because to me it seems he has a skewed vision of socially acceptable behavior.
That is what I thought too. She said she was just politely conversing with him and as far as she knows giving him zero signals that she was interested...so she's leery he will take any future communication with him as a sign she is interested. (Some guys seem to be that clueless.) So, she wants to switch buses and just not even be in the situation if she can avoid it.
This. I don't think it needs to be reported right now. If she thinks it may continue, just have her save the note.
I would respond with "I'm flattered, but I keep my work and private life separate."
Does she run to the administration every time someone asks her out from work? Would she?
I can understand your concern for your sister, but I wouldn't do anything.
As a former 22 year old/blonde/naive/somewhat cute gal that got asked out at work by all manner of delivery guys and weirdos - I just wouldn't feel comfortable putting someone's job in jeopardy just because they went out on a limb an asked me out. I'd be flattered and uncomfortable and I might tell my co-workers about it in a "watch my back" type way - but I'd never do anything to have something like that reported or documented.
Poor guy is a socially awkward, single, 45 year old bus driver
I wouldn't want to make things difficult for him just because he thought I was cute. She probably should firmly tell him "thank- but no thanks" though.
really you two? he only asked her out. geez. if anything, she should date the note, make sure a trusted coworker knows about it and then just tell him politely but firmly, thanks but no thanks.
documenting it by reporting could be a black mark on this guys record which NO ONE needs unless it's warranted. and asking a young (but very much legal aged), pretty girl out does NOT warrant.
This exactly. I could not agree more.
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We didn't tell her to call America's Most Wanted.
She can approach administration just to document it in HER file. I'm sure they'd ask her if she wants the bus company contacted and she could choose to say no. If they didn't ask, she could tell them that she doesn't want the bus company notified but she wanted it in her personal file just to feel protected.
What if she doesn't have a trusted coworker? Or what if she told a coworker and then if things got weird/worse/whatever that coworker doesn't work there anymore? What good is she [coworker] then?
ETA: When I say administration I don't necessarily mean the Vice Principal. Maybe a counselor or someone can add it to her file.
But she said the sister wants to switch buses. I think it's worse to request a switch and not provide a reason. That could imply something much worse. It doesn't need to be an official report. Just kind of a heads up. There is a way to do it so that it is not going to be an issue for the guy.
If she's feeling paranoid enough to want to switch buses than he's probably giving her the "something is not cool" vibe and I don't think there is anything wrong listening to that. When I was younger/thinner/awesomer and I got hit on, there were times when you knew it was okay, and times that it didn't feel right. I'd rather trust my gut and be safe, rather than sorry.
We're kind of going out.
Well okie dokie. I haven't heard back from her yet on what she decided to do. This happened yesterday after school so it'll be an hour or so before her shift of bus duty happens.
Thanks for the opinions...
Exactly my point.
I think everyone is reading this and adding their own tone to the entire thing. I'm thinking that if the sister is uncomfortable enough to switch buses, it's not just an "ew, he's yucky" kind of feeling, it's more "something here is not right."
I think it really depends on what the actual creep factor was.
I could be wrong. But if she's feeling that uncomfortable, I don't think it's wrong to at least bring it to their attention.
We're kind of going out.
Uuuuuuugh. I agree. I'm starting to feel very
it IS entirely possible that she's just uncomfortable with being asked out by a 45ish old man. it still doesn't mean he's done anything wrong. i stick by the idea that she should tell him politely but firmly no and see how things are after that.
i've been hit on by people i wasn't interested in in a professional setting (peers, cafeteria workers, etc ) and it's my experience that if you're confident and firm in your messaging, they lay off.
Going back to Strength's earlier comment about the driver receiving a black mark on his record, it would likely have to be filed under sexual harassment. That would be a HUGE issue for a school bus driver. He might even lose his job over it.
You'll have to let us know what your sister decides to do.
This. (Minus the 22 gal/dating part I deleted)...