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would you go? (long)
The board is slow, so I'm going to ask my nesties to make the decision for me...
My friend is getting married this summer at the Atlantis in the Bahamas. We aren't super close, but she is an old old friend (6th grade) and is best friends with one of my closest friends (a BM).
Despite the fact that she got engaged last July, she's been dragging her feet about the wedding?she signed the contract only a few weeks ago, decided it was "too late" for save-the-dates, and sent out invitations this week. In other words, no one except for close friends/family knows about the wedding. I'm concerned that she'll be really disappointed at the turnout. (And it's not a small wedding by any stretch of the imagination... but it might end up being one at this late date.)
That being said, here's my situation:
Reasons to go:
- Bahamas! It would be nice to have a weekend in paradise right now...
- Be there to support my friend (and calm down my good friend the BM who is freaking out about the disorganization)
- I likely won't be attending her shower (which may be out of town where her relatives are) or her b-party (which might be in the Bahamas a few nights before the wedding)?in other words, I'd like to support her in some fashion
- She may have a separate ceremony up here, but it'd be out of state to accommodate some elderly relatives, so I wouldn't necessarily be invited
- I do have PTO subject to write-off this year if I don't use it by September (I'd just take that Friday off though)
Reasons not to go:
- Oceanside wedding + "dancing under the stars" (no tent...) = I will look like a lobster (and DH burns extremely easily, even with SPF 70)
- $$$?while the room rates in her reserved block are actually pretty reasonable, the taxes, add-ons, meals, flight, and other transportation probably aren't cheap
- We're already going to Hawaii in August for a wedding (one that had much more notice!) and that's our summer vacation splurge this year
- I'm afraid to ask if she has a rain/hurricane plan...
I guess I'd like to go... but financing it is the hardest part. Maybe I should have just asked for a good place to search for Bahamas deals!! 
WWDCND?
Re: would you go? (long)
Eh, this is only four months away. I'd skip the Bahamas and save up for Hawaii. It stinks that your friend is throwing it together with little notice. I'd sent an extra nice gift and lovely card.
Scout
Chocolate Blog!
We just did a babymoon at Atlantis and, in my opinion, it was overpriced. The room was relatively expensive but the kicker is the food and drink costs. The resort automatically adds 15% gratuity to EVERYTHING. You go to a take out pizza counter - 2 slices of pizza and 2 sodas was around $25. And the service wasn't all that great. There also aren't many nearby (i.e., walking distance) restaurants, so you're stuck with Atlantis for most meals.
We said that if we went back, we would stay at another resort like the Riu, which is nearby and all-inclusive, and just do a day pass at Atlantis. The aquariums (if they can even be called that they're so huge) are beautiful, but you could see all of that in a day.
So my vote would be to try to go but stay at a different, cheaper resort.
ETA: We previously found good deals at www.cheapcaribbean.com .
If financing this is a problem, I'd skip it. If you had sufficient notice, you could have scrimped/saved, but I think the bride is going to have to accept a small turnout this late in the game b/c I'm sure you're not the only guest who can't come up with several thousand dollars this quickly.
Also, ditto pp--I've heard Atlantis is very $$$. And it's not like you stay at another resort and just walk/cab it there...if I remember correctly, you have to take a boat to get there from most other resorts.
I'd probably stick with the Hawaii if I were just because i know the prices in Atlantis. I was on a reward trip there 2 years ago and while I LOVED it, it is VERY expensive. You will end up paying for everything, I think the breakfast buffett was $50/person.
I'm sure your friend will completely understand - it's often hard when someone has a destination wedding.
I agree with this.
I guess I should say rationalizing the financing is the hardest part. We can afford it, but do I want to? (And, let's face it: hubz and I are cheeeeap. We bring oatmeal packets on vacation so we don't have to pay for breakfast.) We paid for our flight to Hawaii with miles, but Hawaii itself is also $$$.
I think you've convinced me. And she was *this* close to choosing Florida. And I would have been there in a heartbeat.
Thanks for the tough love! I think the bride needs more of it than I do though.
Scout
Chocolate Blog!
I did see an ad recently for free companion airfare and stay three nights, get the fourth free - but it sounds like you wouldn't be staying that long, and as pp pointed out the food is RIDICULOUSLY expensive.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
actually I think the Comfort Inn is right next door adn is all-inclusive.
I'd go
and if the wedding is at night, you won't get sunburned
I'm with everyone else. I'd totally skip this, send a nice gift, and spend my money on Hawaii.
This.
Use the extra vacation for a long weekend with your hubz somewhere you want to go.
The wedding is in the late afternoon, so while not peak burning time, still damn hot. "Dancing under the stars" was her phrase on the invitation regarding the reception, meaning, to me, "nothing's inside so prepare yourselves!"
She has a block at the Comfort Suites but it has just as many taxes (including $13pp/night for "energy surcharges"), and it says only breakfast is included.
Blah. Don't you hate it when you want the wedding cake and to eat it too?
Scout
Chocolate Blog!
I skipped one of my best friends destination weddings at an all inclusive in the Bahamas. She totally didn't care! They said everyone they wanted to be there was there. Oh okay..
I had a destination wedding too but in the USA and we had 60 people come and I thought it was great. I didn't want a big wedding and threatened eloping a few times. The above mentioned friend did not come to my wedding either but her parents did
they drove from maryland to Yosemite CA even!
It's possible this girl doesnt want to do a big huge wedding either.
Coming from someone who had a destination wedding- I would not take 'dancing under the stars' to mean just that. I hear Atlantis can put on a pretty fab event so I am sure they are prepared for the heat/sun/etc... I think destination weddings invites are way more laid back than most weddings.
1. I am dying that you two bring your own oatmeal packets! My parents did that and, since that was my experience growing up, I tried doing that when DH and I went on vacation assuming everyone did this. Uh... yeah, that didn't go over so well with Mr. "But I NEED a good breakfast". Whatever.
2. I was all for telling you to enjoy an awesome vacation (and just see the wedding as one thing you're doing on your awesome trip) until the Hawaii thing. Doing one big tropical-ish vacation a year is enough for me.
3. If you do go, I'd think about some of the cheaper options people have listed and not blow the bank on this trip.