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How do I tell my Mom I don't want to spilt gifts w/ my sister
My Mother sent me and my sister an email with some suggetions for Mother's Day. They are pricey and we would spilt them in a normal world. My sister does not ever pay me back when we spilt gifts. She still owes me money for my Dad's gift at Christmas. It more the principle of it then the money, as she never seems to express appreciation that I take care of the gifts etc. She doesn't make a lot of money, but she can afford $40 for a gift. I've asked her to send me the money 2X and I'm done asking her. I'm just not going to do it anymore.
SO I need to tell my Mom that my sister and I will not be doing combo gifts, I don't want to get her involved w/ the why or anything like that, but when she asks for things that are out of the budget and it would make sense to spilt it, it just can't happen.
TIA
The way life should be-
Re: How do I tell my Mom I don't want to spilt gifts w/ my sister
Mr. and Mrs. est. September 6, 2008 Expecting Baby #1 October 1, 2013
I'd just tell her you plan to get her a gift on your own this year.
I also think its weird your mom sent suggestions for gifts, but we only give gifts at Christmas.
I would just call your mom and ask for suggestions for gifts that are in your price range and try not get into details just tell her the logistics of splitting a gift never work out or say that you would prefer to get something on your own end of story.
It's tough because any mom is going to want to know why and if you tell she'll get after your sister.
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I wasn't gonna go there
We will go to my parents house for breakfast on Mothers Day -- MAYBE I will get my mom a pretty plan for the porch, but that's about it. We don't do gift either.
Mr. and Mrs. est. September 6, 2008 Expecting Baby #1 October 1, 2013
I wasn't gonna go there
We will go to my parents house for breakfast on Mothers Day -- MAYBE I will get my mom a pretty plan for the porch, but that's about it. We don't do gifts either.
Mr. and Mrs. est. September 6, 2008 Expecting Baby #1 October 1, 2013
If you don't want to get into too much detail with your mom about it ... what about getting your mom a gift certificate towards one of the items that she wants and then let your sister know so she can get a gift certificate for the remaining amount to cover it.
If she follows through, great, if not, you won't be in the same position as you were at Christmas.
ETA: if you mom asks what's up, you can just explain that this is the easiest way for you guys to split gifts.
Honestly, I like this idea.
I agree with the others. I don't think it's a big deal to just tell her.
I agree with Emily, too, though. We don't do gifts for anything but Christmas. We usually don't even get together (we live 10 mintues from each set of parents). Phone calls are usually it.
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Oh we do gifts for bdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, etc so it isn't out of the relm for her to email me an idea or two. I would have asked her this weekend when I saw her.
I just know my Mom will want to know why I don't want to spilt things w/ my sister and it will lead to her being upset about the relationship between my sister and I. I've created this monster by covering for her for years, and I'm just done. Dh said her half would come out of my fun money-NO THANKS
Agreed. It is NOT YOUR FAULT that your sister has different values/goals in life. It is not your job to cover for her to your mom and your not wanting to pay for her half of a gift does not mean you have a "bad" relationship with your sister. I'd just get her what you want to get her/what is in your budget, sign it from you and move on. If she asks, let her know that you wanted to do this on your own. No need to tell her that your sister never pays you back, in my opinion. You covered for her so you're at least a little guilty too :-) If you stop, you can feel better about the whole thing and honestly it might HELP your relationship with your sister.
Thanks ladies-
Yes I was an enabler as I just always bought everything and signed both our names. I'm trying to break that habit. I will most likely just give the gift that she wants from DH and I and just leave it at that. I just hate that my sister doesn't get how much it means to my parents to at least send a card to them for bdays,holidays etc... Its the thought that matters, not the gift. I haven't spoken to my sister in 2 months, I've called and not gotten a call back...