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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I decided
I'm not going to the shower I'll bring the gift to Easter dinner, I would send it but they live 35 minutes away and I have no reason to go there until Sunday. Plus I'm really sore from an ovarian cyst and today was my first day back at work. H isn't going ot there either so Easter it is. Thanks for all your advice.
Another question, should I tell my MIL I'm not going or just not show up, I'm not going to give them some "explanation" I'm not comfortable going so I'm not. I didn't RSVP or anything so I imagine they get it I'm not coming. Maybe I'll just have H call and tell them.
Thanks again ladies!!
Re: I decided
I'm glad you aren't going to the shower.
Feel better soon.
Its not a regrets only so I'm not going to say anything, and you are right it would def turn into some type of drama.
What is KWIM?
Thank you
KWIM = Know what I mean?
Another question, should I tell my MIL I'm not going or just not show up, I'm not going to give them some "explanation" I'm not comfortable going so I'm not. I didn't RSVP or anything so I imagine they get it I'm not coming. Maybe I'll just have H call and tell them.
People will probably be asking why you are not there; you should not open this up for gossip. Call your mother-in-law (maybe when you know she's not home so you can just leave a voice mail) and tell her you won't be able to come.
That is true I didn't really think that by not saying anything it could open it up to gossip. This really just a lose-lose for me. If I call and say I'm not coming it could stir up drama but if I don't say anything I can see them saying things at the shower. Maybe if my MIL asks my H or I we will just tell her, if not I'm not going to worry about it.
If they can't figure out why I'm not there, then they need some help
Thank you it really helps hearing it from people who are directly involved. I'm def not going and I don't deserve to be treated like that and I'm not going to put myself through that when it not only hurts emotionally but after what they put my H and I through, they deserve to be stood up!
If you're going to take the time and spend the money to buy her a gift, then I actually don't understand why you wouldn't RSVP. I realize there is a lot of crap to this situation, but if you're going to make a stand over the RSVP, then why bother "doing the right thing" and get her a gift? That's the disconnect for me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I assumed it was an "RSVP if you can attend thing." Like sometimes they say, "RSVP Regrets Only."
Maybe I am wrong.
It's a regular RSVP but the only thing I'm considered about is that my MIL brought it up to me very briefly the other day on the phone (she changed the subject very quickly) That is the only reason I feel the need to tell them I'm not coming. The way she sounded was very assuming I was coming, but our convo was very brief (I was at the ER for my cyst at the time.)
I feel like buying a gift is the proper and more mature choice in the matter. My H and I both thought it was a good idea, something small maybe just an outfit, beside its not really for her, its for the baby.
If you weren't giving a gift, I might actually say "Sure, don't RSVP either. They don't deserve your respect". But if you're going to do the one, I don't understand why you wouldn't do the other. Regardless if your MIL brought it up or not.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Have your H call his mother and say "of course my wife is not going to the shower, after all my sisters have put her through."
Don't get into it with your MIL on your own.
And I would take the stand that it was rediculous of them to think you would go until you got apologies all around.
Geez. Even if your relationship with the ILS were a love-fest, between your miscarriage and now your trip to the doctor - I would not expect my bff to go to my shower under those circumstances!!!
I went ahead and called my MIL told her I wasn't going, I could tell she expected it. I called I had to ask about Easter dinner and stuff, it wasn't a big deal. H said he would call but we both kind of agreed it would better if I called and told her, if it was a RSVP to SIL he would have called and told them.