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He's not into lingerie... but I am... Help?
So for some time now I've been wanting to play with the idea of lingerie. I went to La Vie En Rose and got a really nice black and red pieces, not too revealing, but gave me one hell of a figure and figured that my fiance would go almost ga ga over it. So that night when he came home from work I ran him a bath to relax him and then got all dolled up for him. When he got out of the bath he just commented "oh looks like someone went shopping" went to the bed. I went over to join him and the first thing he did was try to figure out how to take it off, and not in a "I want whats underneath" sexy kind of way, it was like a "hmm... well this is annoying, how do I get rid of it" kind of way. I was a little taken aback by the whole thing and was wondering if any other of you girls out there are running into the same thing? I personally really like wearing it, it makes me feel like a million bucks, but he's all about sweat pants and t-shirts as far as I can tell.
Re: He's not into lingerie... but I am... Help?
This^^ maybe try something a little more simple that he might be accustomed to like an extra sexy bra and panties set or maybe a sexy gown of some kind that doesn't necessarily require removal but can be pushed up and out of the way. Once he is into that, then move onto the crazy hard to get off stuff. Also, maybe set the mood for it, have him sit down in a chair, light some candles and give him a strip tease giving him time to appreciate your hell of a figure it has given you and then you take it off slowly. Trust me even if you can't dance he will be so thrilled that you are making the effort for him any lack of rhythm will not bother him.
I also love to have my husband's input on things but keeping it a secret. So for example one week when he had been out of town and was coming home I went shopping and then I called him and said "black or red?" nothing else no hints about anything and he was so curious when he got home what black or red meant (btw he chose red). Try teasing him, wear a dress with thigh highs and in the car conveniently have to adjust them before getting out and make him wonder what else is under there. Keep trying, he'll get into it. good luck and most importantly have fun!
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Yeah I'd just ask him "so the lingerie I had the other day, did you like that or are you not really into lingerie? I wanted it to be hot but wasn't sure if you were really into that?"
he might have just been surprised and didn't know how to act
This is awesome advice! Thank you so much. I think you're totally right that I maybe just have to start slowly rather than jumping in out of no where kinda thing.
Thanks again!
As a guy, I know your hubby can be moody or just not into it sometimes. Also as a guy, I can tell you that just because he didn't see you lingerie sexy the first time, he might the second time you wear it. Just because he didn't like it that first time, doesn't mean he didn't like it. I'm sure you looked positively delicious in it. Maybe he was tired or not in the mood. The warm bath might have made him tired. It doesn't mean he hates it and will hate it forever. Keep wearing it, he will notice. If not, then find a few web sites that sells sexy lingerie and sit him down in front of the computer and both of you look through all of the outfits and select a few that appeal to both of you. Once you see what he likes or prefers, then you will have a better idea what he likes and you can look for those types.
If you enjoy wearing your sexy outfit, then wear it for yourself. If it makes you feel sexy, then by all means wear it. When you feel sexy, you think sexy thoughts and therefore, you get horny! What guy would hate a horny wife!!! If there are other items that you feel sexy in, then wear them too. Its important for you to feel sexy too because you are.
Guys have different tastes. For me, less is more. One lady responded that her hubby loves to see her in a $5 thong instead of her $35 teddy!! I would agree with her hubby, not that I've ever seen her in a thong, well , you know what I mean! For me, and I would imagine most guys feel this way, there is nothing sexier than a topless lady in a thong. Maybe add a tight, sheer or semi transparent tank top or something with spaghetti straps that stops mid belly, sort of like a camisole.
My gf (now my wife) once wore a red lace teddy with a thong back. It looked nice on her but was a size or two too big on her. I didn't show her the enthusiasm that she was expecting and I never saw it again. I liked it and wanted her to wear it again but it never made it out of her drawer. No matter what I said, she didn't believe that I liked it. For me, it wasn't the outfit, it was that it was too big on her. I told her this but it didn't matter.
Don't get discouraged because he doesn't go all ga ga over something you wear. He will, you just have to wear it again. If you like it, then wear it all of the time. Wear it all day one weekend. He will take notice!!
We guys are pigs. We don't get into the candles and big productions. Keep it simple. Do sexy dance as someone suggested. Maybe walk up to him naked with two pieces of lingerie and ask him which one he prefers then put it on in front of him and walk away. He will follow you. Remember, keep it simple.
Yeah I'm the same way... I have a bunch of gorgeous lingerie I received as bridal shower gifts and they just sit in the closet. When I first tried them on I felt beautiful because they were all so tastefull yet pretty and yet my husband doesn't really like them. I think he's intimidated by all the foreign hooks and strings and doesn't know what to do without being awkward. Also, I think he associates lingerie with the type of girl he is not attracted to haha...
Don't worry, I'm sure he finds other things attractive on you. I learned over time what kind of types of underwear my husband likes on me which first came as a surprise. Who knew he'd find boyshorts and cute patterns preferrable to lacy thongs?
I wanted to follow up and add a thing or two to my post.
When I said you should wear your sexy lingerie for yourself, you should wear only the lingerie! Walk around all day in your sexy stuff. Stop at all of the mirrors and look at that sexy thing that is looking back at you. If he is there great, if he isn't, then he is missing a great show. Seriously, if you aren't expecting company, then put on only your sexy lingerie and wear only that. You will feel and look sexy.
Guys and gals have different tastes. We all know that. The sexy stuff you get as gifts from your gfs may look great to all of you at that bachelorette party, but may be to complicated and intimidating for your future hubby. This is very true. So, what do you do, you help him remove it or have him watch you remove it. Put on a show for him and do a little striptease. You could always leave part of it on and once both of you are ready to play, only remove your panties or unclip that strap between your legs so he has access to to your mommy parts. Really, thats all he is looking for. Us guys can be so goal oriented!! Wear crotchless panties so you don't have to remove anything. You don't have to be naked to have sex!! If it gets dirty with all of those bodily fluids that come along with sex (no pun intended) then so what, you weren't using it anyway.
Its time to dig those forgotten sexy items out of your lingerie drawer and try them on. Better yet, both of you do it. You could put on a little show for him and try them all on while he watches! Try on those panties topless or try on those sexy bras bottomless! I enjoy watching my wife come home from work, stripping down to her panties and then putting on a simple t-shirt and sweats! Your guy will like anything you do if it involves you getting naked. Trust me!!
Bottom line, keep trying or wearing those sexy pieces of lingerie that you have. And when privacy allows, wear only the lingerie! If he doesn't appreciate it, that sexy gal in the mirror will!! Trust me, he will notice.
Generally in regards to your entire post I just wanted to say that this is probably the most helpful and inspiring thing I've ever read. Thank you so much for your long responses to my insecurities, I can't tell you how much it helped. This has helped both of us get comfortable with all things "sexy" between both your suggestions to get changed into comfy things with sexy things underneath and just wearing one sexy item alone. I tried (sorry if this is tmi) cleaning the kitchen in nothing but a lacey pair of panties while he was sleeping (our bed is in the same room as the kitchen, the wonders of living in a bachelor suite) so when he work up I was doing the dishes and making him breakfast in almost nothing. He went crazy.
So I suppose to make a long story short, thank you so much. And I definitely enjoyed playing dress up by myself around the house, again, an awesome suggestion!