West Coast Florida Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Trust Issues/Locking phone
A few days ago H and I got into an argument (I don't remember what it was about atm). H brought up the fact that I had "made plans" to go live with my dad and that he can't trust me now. I told H that since he always threatens to leave I had to make sure I had a place to go if he did leave. The fact that he knew this means he has been going through my phone and reading my texts at night when I go to bed. Is it completely unreasonable for me to lock my phone with a pw so he can't do this? I know we are married and I don't have anything to hide (I'm sure it will look suspicious anyways) but aren't I still entitled to a little privacy? I mean, I don't go through his text messages. What do you ladies think?
Re: Trust Issues/Locking phone
I love my crazy child!
My Bio
It needs to be worth it for you. If you are going to work on the marriage for Aiden the problems are never going to be resolved. Approx 50% of all marriages end in divorce these days and most of those marriages have children. Aiden can and will be just fine if things don't work out between you and H. You need to be committed to working on the relationship for you, because in the end You are just as important if not more important than Aiden because Aiden and his father have their own relationship that I'm sure will strengthen if yours does.
Sending lots of Hugs and good vibes that you are able to find a counselor to help you all through this. I don't know where you live, but I highly recommend Kay Hardy. She is in the Brandon Area and was fabulous when I was going through some personal things. She is willing to do individual as well as joint marriage counseling (which may be good for you both)
Planning Bio | Married Bio
Family Blog
I think it's up to you whether or not you put a password on your phone. I agree that you need to go to counseling and talk about the fact that your husband doesn't respect your right to privacy and the fact that he is using the threat of leaving you to push you around in your relationship. Your husband is emotionally abusive.
I commend you for making an effort to seek counseling to improve your relationship with him for the sake of Aiden. Obviously, regardless of whether or not you and your H stay together, you will always be in each other's lives because of Aiden. However, while having a civil relationship is important for Aiden, I don't want you to think that have a romantic relationship with your H is. If you go to counseling and it doesn't lessen the toxicity in your relationship, the best move for the long-run is move Aiden to an environment where he won't be in the middle of all of that. Time and space can heal a lot of old wounds.
DD's dad and I were toxic and terrible together and I have no doubt that staying in that relationship would have stunted both of our emotional growth and kept us in that pattern. Instead, I can now say, though several years later, that we have an amicable and healthy relationship and have been able to put all of those former hard feelings behind us and work together for our daughter. I hope that you guys are able to get there too.
I love my crazy child!
My Bio
I have a lot of respect for you the way that you have continuously put Aiden first. I have no doubt that you are a great mom and that he is going to grow to be a very happy, confident, and successful young man.
I am happy to hear you are both willing to attend counseling.
And fuckyes, I'd lock my damn phone. Trust issues didn't start with the texts about moving to your dad's. Trust issues started a loooooooooooong time ago and there needs to be a boundary you set for yourself where you feel you are safe and respected. If that boundary and safe place means a phone where you can be honest and contact people who can help you, so be it.
I keep my phone locked and there were no trust issues in my marriage at all - H knew the unlock code. I just locked it to keep it from dialing in my purse, to prevent DD from calling China, or the like.