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my mother has boarded the train to crazytown once again...
so, we do this about once every 6 months. my mom has a freakout/breakdown about me and my sister not loving her enough bc she believes my father to be a mutil-millionaire (he is not) and literally thinks that we love him more bc of that. my sister has been in town for the last 9 days and i invited her and my mom over for dinner last night. i also asked that she sit here at the house after Bennett goes to bed bc it was our good friend's bday and we wanted to stop by the bar and say hi. she said fine. so, i went to the grocery store (twice), made salad, marinated/grilled flank steak, roasted new potatoes and sauteed mushrooms for dinner. i could tell my mom was either tired or off when she came over. she made a few negative comments and i just got up and walked into the kitchen to finish cooking. i felt bad so i went over to hug my mom and she literally just freaked out. this is how it panned out:
mom - "you know, i just wonder if i had $250million, if you would love me as much as you love your father."
me - "um...what?"
mom - " you never tell me you love me, you only call me when you want something, i just don't know why you're always making fun of me and why you hate me so much".
me - "seirously? i just spent $100 at the grocery and made dinner for everyone. i call you everyday just to see how your day is going. half the time, you ASK to be wiht bennett and thats why you watch him. i don't hate you. you're acting like a 4 year old"
so...this continued for a while. i'm so used to this now that my comebacks and remarks are so well thought out that i can actually rationally argue. she was silent after a while and just sat there through dinner.
i just do not understand why she does this. things will be going great...i've accepted her as she is, and she can't seem to do the same for me. she wants me to be someone i'm not (lovey dovey giving hugs every 2 seconds) and it baffles me that, after 30 years, she does not know my sense of humor, understand my loyalty and appreciate me for who i am.
vent over.
June 2011
Re: my mother has boarded the train to crazytown once again...
Sorry you're going through that (or have been going through it). That sounds extremely frustrating, but props to you for still maintaining a relationship with her!
I do this with FI sometimes. Especially when we started dating again, because I was still working out my issues from Andy. I don't know why I do it, but sometimes I just go crazy and think he doesn't love me at all and I don't deserve him.
Not saying it shouldn't drive you crazy as well, because I know FI gets annoyed with it. Have a real talk with her when she's not on the crazy train and try to find out why she does it.
Oh man I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. My moms crazy but its "runs out and buys $50,000 car crazy"! Ill deal with that over you dont love me any day.
I hope that she snaps out of it soon.
thanks guys. unfortunately, i've been dealing with this my entire life. she's the same mother who told me she'd give me $10K for my wedding and i found out that she had filed bankruptcy in secret. so yeah...no money for me. my dad had to save the day, once again.
we've tried to talk to her over and over and over. the best comment i can recall from her: "amanda, i wish life had a big error so i could erase your anger towards me". um...
most of the year she's great....she works a lot so i dont get to spend a ton of time with her, but she watches bennett whenever we need her to and i do enjoy spending time wiht her. but around holidays or when my sister is in town and she feels like she isn't getting equal treatment between her and my dad, she flips. i'm really close to my dad...he basically raised us bc she was so absent. he paid for EVERYTHING...gave me a college degree, wedding, etc. she hasnt bc she is selfish and spends her money completely on herself. she makes good money...i've done her taxes for her. there were years she made more than my dad! she's just an idiot.
okdone