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MOH... WWYD?
Some of you may remember that my MOH was a little unpredictable before and during the wedding.
Since the wedding, she hasn't called or replied to emails, although I talk pretty regularly with her siblings (2 brothers, 1 sister). They all live near each other, in a different state than I do. Her brothers both mentioned what they call "laziness" and that their mom does everything for MOH even though she's married. Her sister started complaining that MOH mistreats her (threatens her, curses at her, comes over and takes whatever food she has) and shows other signs of there being something seriously wrong, like not showering. The sister has been feeling really burdened and applied for a job overseas. She got it and is moving in about 3 weeks.
So now MOH called me and asked me to come and visit her. I have mixed feelings. First of all, because of my mom passing away suddenly, there are a lot of loose ends and chaos in the family, DH and I are also trying to move, which is a lot of work, and in general it's not a good time for me to go anywhere. Also, my gut feeling is that she wants me to come and replace her sister in doing stuff for her (this has happened in the past). On the other hand, I think she has serious problems that need to be addressed and I can't do it long distance.
I want to ask her to come here instead, although I'm pretty sure she'll say no, but DH does not want me too. He is still really mad at her about some things at the wedding.
Should I try to change his mind and talk her into coming here? Go there? Give up on her?
Re: MOH... WWYD?
Please realize that you cannot fix MOH's problems/issues unless she is willing to put forth the effort. That being said, her asking you to come visit could be her cry for help but hearing the stories about how she has acted in the past I sort of feel like you may be right in the whole "come take care of me" theory.
I would start off by telling her that you have a lot going on right now (you can give examples if you'd like) and that you arent in a position to travel. Wait and see how she responds - see if she tells you she's having issues etc. If she does explain her reasons for wanting you to come and you feel like you'd like to be there for her then talk to H and see if he'll agree to having her come visit. I think thats where I'd start. Good luck with all of this!! BTW - YGPM
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Linds, I can't open your PM (it shows me there is a msg but nothing happens when I try to open it).
Try emailing me at temurlang at gmail dot com.
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