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i kid you not...
my MIL sent zoey an easter card addressed to 'Joey Emma.'
i was shocked but gave her the benefit of the doubt since i assumed she made a mistake with all the j's (jess, james). until i actually opened the card and it said, 'dear joey emma.'
i swear, you can't make the stuff this lady does up. not to mention she has only seen her 6 times and she lives 10 minutes down the street.
i have tried everything in my power to get her to realize that she's missing out on such an amazing time but she's just so lost. i can't even imagine experiencing the loss of a child but james and zoey don't deserve this. this is her first grandbaby and after 5 sons, she was hoping so bad for a grand daughter. i used to feel so bad for them but then i realized that SHE is the one missing out. not them. they are loved so much and don't need to be brought down.
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Re: i kid you not...
Wow...just wow.
Wives Unscripted
I'm sorry Jess. I don't understand it, either. My mom is retired and visits every 2 months if we're lucky, but she says she's too busy. She does live 3 hours away, but it's the easiest 3-hour drive in the world and she was famous for guilt-tripping me when I lived in California so at least it's only 3 hours and can be done on 1 tank of gas. I think about it every day and I've started to think that, maybe I'll understand when I'm retired and a grandparent; maybe there's something I don't understand now. I know when I became a mom I realized what it means when people would say "you'll understand when you're a mom" (I HATED hearing it, but now I understand). I wonder if I will have the same understanding about my mom's behavior when I am in her shoes.
As it is now, I'm disappointed and sad about the situation. But if she lived 10 minutes away and only visited 6 times? I would be LIVID. LIVID!
One thought about the name, though, is it in cursive? Do you think she doesn't know how to write a "Z" capitalized in cursive? That's the only benefit of the doubt I'm giving her.
Makes me think of Dawsons Creek...
And that is very sad that she doesn't know her name. I don't know if I'd be sad/hurt or pissed off. I guess the positive is that she did care enough to send her a Easter card, instead of nothing at all.
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
Wives Unscripted
Married my hero on 10-11-08
Our bean was born on 05-19-11
What in the world!? That's pretty freaking bad! What's the backstory (if you have time/care to share)? I would be bitter about the fact she's so close and seen her so little - that just seems crazy.
Nick's mom doesn't see C that much and she was a mile away (now 20 minutes) but she's not a real grandmotherly type and I know it's her loss. But I think she's happy with the amount she sees him and if she weren't she'd make the effort.
it's written in print.
in regards to her behavior, she has always been weird but this is beyond what i would have even expected from her. james and never really been 'close' with his family and usually keeps his distance because they always end up disappointing him. when we got together i sort initiated more of a relationship because family is very important to me. she actually loves me and considers me the daughter she never had so it's not because she doesn't like me. through the years she has always made broken promises, stood us up, etc... but i always excused it because she had a sick child (i don't know if you remember but james' youngest brother who was handicapped, passed away january of last year).
even during the whole wedding, moving into the house, etc... she has never been dependable. her excuse all the time is that she has a migraine. james always tells me not to spend my time trying to include them (because he's used to their behavior) but i always do. he talks to her every so often while i would attempt to make frequent calls, invite her over (she wouldn't come). when we told her i was pregnant she replied, 'but i'm too young to be a grandmother.' she's like 55 or something. james is 33. unfortunately his brother passed away while i was only a few months pregnant and she quickly became severely depressed and almost out there enough to assume she's addicted to pain pills to mend her broken heart.
she wanted to be a part of my baby shower but never returned my mom's calls. the morning of my shower she called my sister to say she wasn't going to make it because she had a migraine. she didn't even call me.
since i was scheduled for a c-section, we called and told her that i was due to go in to have the baby at 8:30 the next morning. she asked when my parents were going and said she would be there at 8. at 11 (while in recovery) she kept calling james for directions to the hospital. she's been there numerous times and she has a gps. he eventually told her to call my mom because his wife just got out of surgery and he couldn't continue to answer her calls.
she eventually arrived and spent the hr she was there texting someone instead of being slightly interested in the baby. she showed up the next day while james was home showering and spent 2 hrs dazed and confused while i was literally bleeding all over the place and learning how to feed my baby (literally, my boobs were hanging out. awkward). it was so weird and she didn't think to leave at all while all the nurses were changing my linens, pads, underwear, etc...
she came by 1 more time at the house for like 20 mins. she showed up at my 30th bday party in sept. and slept on my mom's couch in the middle of the day. we saw her thanksgiving weekend and christmas day. she sat on the couch and cried because she was missing her son. she didn't even look at z once, wish her a merry christmas, touch her/hold her. nothing. her grand daughter's first christmas. not that she needed a gift but didn't get her one. or us.
a few weeks ago i reached a boiling point and sent her a text that i was disappointed in her lack of attention. she apologized and made some bullshit up that she has been busy. umm... she's 8 months. she showed up that night (a weeknight) at 8:30. the baby was obviously sleeping so she didn't get to even see her. instead she sat here all drugged up looking talking nonstop about why she was mad at her husband. james just kept looking at me like 'get her out of here.' you would think if she actually cared about what i was saying than she would have called anytime after that to ask when she can see her. we always offer to bring her there and they never seem to answer the phone on those days.
she knows her name. i am sure she was just medicated.
it's sad because she is obviously going through an extremely horrific situation but to see james suffer breaks my heart. unfortunately she was just as messed up before the loss of her son so it's not really due to that. of course it makes me feel bad complaining about her behavior because of the circumstances but james reassures me that she's been this way his whole life which is why he always kept his distance.
it's sad to see my husband have to live with such a messed up mom and it's sad that my daughter is lucky enough to have both of her gandmothers alive but she doesn't get the benefit of it. i wasn't that lucky so i supposed i am a little bitter about it.
eta: yeah sorry for all the errors. i was typing with anger. LOL
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
omg, that is a sad sad story! She def needs help, like pronto. Poor James and poor Zoey and poor her too
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. You're better than me - I'd probably just write her off and stop thinking about her. Hopefully if you keep up trying she'll come around? Does she have a husband (James' dad)?
Big hugs. I'm so sorry that you guys are dealing with all this.
Brie's Blog 10.11.08 The Top Shelf Bookshelf
my read shelf: