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One of those days[long]
I wanted today to be perfect since its Oliver's first Pascha (Orthodox Easter), but it has turned out to be the complet opposite. I woke up at 3am to get ready for church (no I didnt need that long, our service starts at 4:15am)...now to back track... DH has a hockey tournament this weekend and had a game at 10:30pm... he didnt get home till 12:30am and then showered and came to bed. I knew he was going to be really tired come 3:30am when I was going to wake him up, but thats not my fault. He was really short with me and his one task was to get the diaper bag... he forgot it at the house and he drove all the 10 minutes back to get... Then he was being really picky and stubborn about Oliver during church and wouldnt let me hold him and snaped at me for trying to help him fix Oliver's Hat. Anyway... Today is my favorite day because of the service and everything else that goes with it.
To go along with that our Biship was here this year and gave a homily about how when he ordains someone in Alaska they stay in Alaska... Really then why are you moving my parents to WA...so that pissed me off and got me thinking about how soon my parents are leaving.
After church we went up to his parents and on the drive there DH started fighting with me about something so small that it could have waited. We got to his parents I said hello and then Oliver started to cry, which then turned into screaming because he was so tired and didnt want to eat. I took all my time trying to get him to sleep and calmed down and when I finally did DH came in and asked if I wanted any food. My answer was "nope I just want to go home" And the water works started. We had to leave an hour after we got there anyway because he had another hockey game ( I wasnt going to it, but we both were leaving).
So we got home and he left... When he got home from his game he told me to go listen to the voice mail that was on his cell. It was my MIL saying the following " I am not mad at you or juliana, but i think someone needs to say something, so she is aware of the way her behavor comes off. We all have situation we have to deal with that arent pleasent but you cant totally be smug to everyone your around. Everyone has to change things in there personality and she was really rude. we worked hard to make breakfast and put your easter basket together and it was hurtful." she left that after he hung up on her i guess. I dont know but i started crying right away and called my sister.
I have so much on my effing plate right now with dealing with the reality that I have to go back to work soon, my parents leaving and I am running off of maybe 3hrs of sleep. I am so sorry that her grandchild was screaming and that I went into the other room to deal with him and lost all means to want to eat because of my emotions and that we left so soon. I want to just scream and then hide for the night.
thanks for listening to my BS.
Re: One of those days[long]
I would be super pisssed at MIL for saying that. It seems like a huge misunderstanding on her part and I would probably call her tomorrow and explain that you felt rude letting Oliver scream around everyone so you took him in the other room to be polite and were just too exhausted to eat after you got him to sleep and wanted to get him home and you were not being smug or snotty by going in the other room or leaving so shortly after getting there. Then I would let her interpret that as she will.
What a long day that sounds like, even under the best of circumstances! Wanting it to be perfect is a lot of pressure to put on yourself (and your marriage) when stuff like that isn't really controllable.
Obviously, the day is very important to all of you (well, I'm not actually sure about your Husband, but I'm just assuming if it were, he wouldn't have played 2 nights of hockey, so that may not be an appropriate conclusion for me to draw).
You wanted it to be perfect, and it was never going to be. You had an image of what it would be like in church, (him sitting on your lap, perfect hat, etc) and it wasn't. Your MIL had her own image of how dinner would go with the new grandson and family, and it wasn't. Her shattered image of the day isn't much different than you having a shattered image. She worked hard to make it perfect, and it didn't turn out that way for her, either.
Here's the GOOD thing about your MIL calling -- she was obviously upset, and could have sit on it and stewed about it for ages, forcing a wedge you didn't even realize was there between you. She said her piece (which she meant to be helpful, I'm sure, even if it didn't come off that way) and now you can address or not address it in the future, but at least she feels she addressed her feelings.
I'm sorry again about your folks leaving; i can see why that would be so upsetting on any day, let alone your favorite holiday. Wish I could figure out something to say that would make you feel better there, other than offer hugs.
In the meanwhile, go eat some easter candy. :-)