Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dear SIL....
Just because your brother and I are building a house doesn?t mean that you have to break your contract on your current offer so that you guys can now build a home too.
**My husband and I started looking for homes the same time my SIL and her husband started looking. They got into contract first then about a week later we got into contract. Our home inspection was about a week after our offer and it was sooo bad, and electrical nightmare, we decided that we wanted out and that we were going to build a new home instead. After we shared the news with our families (a week and a half before my SIL?s closing) she decide that she wanted to walk from her home contract as well...a week before her closing. Now guess what she wants to build in the same subdivision as us, maybe on the same street.
Uhhh, I am so upset. We can?t even talk to my FIL about our new home with him talking about my SIL?s new home. I don't know if she has even signed a new contract and I don't care at this point.
Re: Dear SIL....
Hmmm... so, have you actually asked them why they changed their minds? From what you write here, it doesn't sound like it and it sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions.
You had a really bad inspection and backed away and decided to go new. Maybe something happened w/ them that led them to the same decision.
From what you write, YOU'RE the one doing the comparison thing here more so than them.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Listen OP - I learned this along time ago.
When you have siblings, and you're around the same age, you're going to be doing things around the same time. Getting engaged, having weddings, having babies, buying first houses, etc are all events people do and just because somebody is doing it at the same time as you, and maybe even seemingly in the same way as you, does NOT mean they are doing it BECAUSE of you.
I am sorry that you wanted this to be a very, super, special exciting time for you and your DH only and that that dream has been dashed, but really, you're making this situation more dramatic than it needs to be.
If you don't want them living so close, then maybe your H can talk to his sister and tell her that he doesn't want to be her neighbor.
Is she getting charged for backing out of her contract? Maybe the cost, plus the cost of building, will be prohibitive.
It does sound as though you are a bit upset as you perceive them as being copycats.
My suggestion: Casually ask them why they backed out on the home they were closing on, maybe over a glass of wine or laid back dinner (no pressure). Maybe they will tell you that the house they were closing on had some issue that you had no idea about. Or maybe they just thought that based on market conditions your idea was better. Remember: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
If it is the proximity that bothers you there is really nothing you can do about it (sorry!). Just establish visiting boundaries early on (say we are sooo busy throughout the week but would love to get together on the weekends)! Chances are they will take you up on your offer for awhile but eventually it will become every other week then once a month then once a quater...
Hope this helps!
Ditto. The further away from the In-Laws the better.