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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
? for lawyers (re: custody)
I have a friend (male) who is having a baby this fall. The mother and him have broken up and he very much wants to be a part of this babies life. The mother has told him no way ? she is finding someone else to be a father to this baby. What can he do legally? The first and only attorney he has talked to so far has told him he cannot do anything until after the baby is born.
TIA J
Re: ? for lawyers (re: custody)
From a child support point of view, NOT A LAWYER, he really can't do anything until the baby is born. When the baby is born he can go to his county's child support office and request a case be opened. He'll have to pay CS eventually, but they will establish genetic paternity, and following that legal paternity.
Having a name on the birth certificate is not legal paternity in the state of Minnesota. So even if she puts some other dude's name on that, it doesn't matter.
The only way to establish legal paternity is through 1. Being married at the time of the birth. 2. A recognition of parentage being signed, notarized and filed. 3. Court order.
Until legal paternity is established, he has no rights.
FWIW, my knowledge comes from working in paternity establishment with Hennepin County. I didn't just make it up. BUT I AM NOT A LAWYER.
This sounds obvious, but although he can't do anything legally until the baby is born he CAN make sure he isn't doing anything now that would persuade a judge to limit or deny visitation. I.e. Make sure finances are in order, bills are caught up, don't trash talk the mother, etc. Basically don't give anyone a reason to argue that he couldn't be a good father to the child. Oh, and it might not be a bad idea to document everything that the mother says or does in an attempt to deny him the right to see his child. That way, if push comes to shove, he can produce some records of his attempts to parent the child, and her refusal to allow it.
ETA: I am NOT a lawyer, just been there with my sister through some nasty custody, cs issues
2.3.11: Started TTC
2.8.12:Initial b/w - Normal
3.7.12:HSG - Normal
3.8.12:S/A - Normal
Cycle #12/Month #15 - 50mg.Clomid CD5-CD9 - BFN
4.24.12: RE appointment - DX Unexplained IF
7.12 - 9.12: TTA
10.12 - 1.13: TTC Naturally
February 2013 - IUI #1 w/100 mg Clomid - 5 mil.post-wash: BFFN
March 2013 - IUI #2 w/100 mg Clomid & Trigger - ?? MY BLOG
I can't emphasize the bolded points enough.
Good luck to your friend. I used to practice family law and paternity cases can get pretty ugly.
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