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MIL is getting on my nerves...
DH is leaving tommorrow to go on a 4 day trip to Malibu for his brothers graduation. I want to be excited for him, but I just can't. I tried to get over it and think about much more positive things, however this is really weighing me down. I haven't been able to handle it as I thought I would be able to. I'm pissed about how vindicitve my MIL was behind that, and even more pissed about how they popped up at our house on Easter Sunday! This just proves that she is one controlling B***** who needs to get a d**** hobby....go knit some d**** sweaters and leave us the hell alone!
Anyways my MIL called me Saturday to ask if we were going to there church for Easter. I told her that we had other plans, and we were spending it with my mom and sisters this time. After we get home we get in bed to watch movies, and about one hour after we get home from my moms house, we hear the door bell ring. It was my INLAWS!! 
....Very frustrated because we didn't get an advanced notice, my husband opens the door and tell them that we were all taking naps. I could hear that they were frustrated about it, but they turned around and left. I looked at my cellphone and noticed that she called me, but I knew that she was only calling to TELL me that they were on their way...NOT ASK if they could come by, or if we wanted company...like normal people would do!! If I don't answer my phone that means WE ARE BUSY (NOT AVAILABLE)...
We have expressed how we felt about then visiting unexpectantly, and they agreed to that they would not do it anymore...but since we moved it has happened TWICE! I am convinced that MIL is a Control Freak...She doesn't care about nothing but getting what she wants...
Sorry just a vent....
Re: MIL is getting on my nerves...
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Dropping by like that is crossing a line, in my opinion. Not cool. Considering that she keeps doing it even though you've asked her not to, I'd take a different approach. Next time, answer the door in lingerie and tell her you guys are busy.
I'm not sure what that has to do with your H going to his brother's graduation, though.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
You don't think the MIL will have figured out that "we are taking a nap" in the middle of the day = "we are 'busy'"? LOL
Your H did the best thing by turning them away. That is the ONLY way to teach them. Next time, don't even bother to answer the door.
It's like we have no privacy. When she calls and I don't answer she always EXPECT an explanation as to why I didn't pick up. I don't feel that we are respected as a married couple, and we are treated like teenagers. We are both in our thirty's and have tried to tell her as ADULTS how we feel about unexpected guess...I guess you are right...maybe we should wrap ourselves in white sheets and lie in the middle of the living room floor with the front door wide open....think she would get the hint then????
She "expects" an explanation? So what. Don't give her one. "Why didn't you pick up?". I was busy. "Doing what?". That's none of your concern. And then change the topic. Ask her what she had been calling for, or whatever.
A part of this is how you react to her. if you put your tail between your legs and meekly give in to her, well then she'll ALWAYS treat you like teenagers. Stand up to her, don't give in - she's going to learn that she can no longer treat you that way.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
that is the correct answer and when she asks WHY you didnt answer tell her you were giving your H a bj. When she askes why you didnt answer the phone tell her he was doing the same for you!
that is the correct answer and when she asks WHY you didnt answer tell her you were giving your H a bj. When she askes why you didnt answer the phone tell her he was doing the same for you!
I wouldn't have answered the door at all. And I probably would just let the phone ring and ring, and eventually would have turned it off.
They'll get the hint eventually.
Oh my goodness...my parents were exactly like your in-laws, only much much worse (and could see our driveway from *their* home until we moved).
I understand you are irritated, and the vent is reasonable (though I do feel badly that you are letting it color your feelings of DHs upcoming trip).
Having said that - you have a FANTASTIC thing right in the middle of your story that I think will help lift your venting mood if it becomes the focus...your husband not only didn't get cowed into changing your holiday plans, but he was able to work with planning your own parents in with it (this is such a huge hassel in some marriages). And, on top of that...he answered the door and didn't give them entrance AND by that strengthened the seriousness about his (you & he) family time being sacred...nap, busy, holiday, it doesn't matter. My husband was able to be that guardian for our family and I find it sad how often on thenest that the women seem to be lacking that blessing.
So, I know it was irritating and insulting and all that (seriously, I really commiserate) but it is also a wonderful testimony to how highly he thinks of your marriage.
I mentioned on my other comment how my parents behaved the same way. In my mother's case it was control, not a matter of uncut apron strings. We had *many* battles over many different types of *lines* she would cross. Over this particular issue, it took repeated back ups just like your husband did when she's bold enough to physically make a confrontation. It took us a period of 3 years before she wouldn't bother with the gamble that we would turn her away or not answer the door. (Seriously, we were in the same neighborhood so it was convenient for her to gamble...if your ILs are driving, they'll likely feel the investment is not as convenient.) Your DH may want to consider having a Man-to-Man talk with your FIL, however, since appealing to them both (or just MIL) isn't working. Something along the lines of "handle your woman" is not as dishonorable as it sounds, but it should trigger in FIL as not wanting to be seen as wearing the 'skirt' in the relationship, IYKWIM.
But, you need to handle the phone call situation just as your husband has the door. Don't allow it to turn into your purposely avoiding her out of resentment (again, been there done that). While I understand the back and forth offered above "What were you doing" "Something" What?" "none of your business" - you are actually still playing the game of allowing her to direct the show because it requires engagement...the answer is not *just* about keeping your business private, but to not engage in the first place.
*When* you next find her demanding an explanation as to why you didn't pick up *do not get sucked into having that conversation!* Instead say something along the lines of, "MIL, I literally only have 5 minutes - was there something specific that you needed?" or "Sorry, what were you calling for?" and re-direct the conversation back to where it was supposed to be.