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Ideas of something nice to do for DH
As you know from my post below, we had to put our 10 year old Boxer to sleep on Saturday. DH is having a REALLY hard time with it. She was his baby and as much as he tried not to have favorites, he did and she was it.
He is really struggling and sad. He seems to hold it together pretty well when I'm around, but he admitted he's not doing so well when I'm not around. He said this has been the hardest things he's ever had to do. 
My heart is breaking for him.
So, I want to do something nice for him. But I have no idea what. I'm taking tomorrow off and I suggested he take the day off as well so we could hang out together, but he didn't think he could get off on such short notice.
I don't know if this something nice is doing something for him or buying something for him or what exactly I'm looking for, but I know you amazing ladies will have some ideas for me.
I just don't know how to comfort him and it's killing me. Honestly his pain hurts me more than losing Madison to begin with.
TIA.
Re: Ideas of something nice to do for DH
I don't know if a guy would dig it but one of my relatives had a photobook made of pictures of their dog and the dog with their family after they had to have him put to sleep.
Losing a pet is never easy. Ever. I've had to do it 3 times with childhood/young adult pets and I don't know how I'll handle it someday when we have to deal with our own dogs passing. I think that it is important to let him grieve the loss just like he would of a person in his family, as silly as that may sound, because to him- his dog was part of his family. With anything, it takes time.
Could you make a shadow box with your dog's stuff in it - a picture, the dog collar, leash, a favorite toy, a poem or letter about/for the dog? Maybe if you made it together it could help your DH grieve and heal. I would think Michaels would have a shadow box.
Maybe just make a nice dinner at home this weekend, go for walks, laugh and cry. Just have some alone time together.
jack | born 9.13.12 at 40w4d | 9 lbs 12 oz | 23 in
my puppy loves - chloe & jenson
pregnancy blog | chart
There is a pet loss support group at Pet Crossings that he could attend. They don't have another meeting until May 14 but the coordinator, Chris, is really good with helping with grief and he could contact her in the meantime if he wants to talk a grief counselor. http://petcrossing.com/calendar.html
We bought an urn like this for Bijou. http://cgi.ebay.com/Pet-Photo-Cremation-Urn-/150594779057?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item231025f7b1
We also made this garden stone the night before Bijou was put to sleep with her paw print, Sofie's paw print, and our dd's hand and footprint. You can buy the supplies at Michaels. This picture was before it dried. You could make a stone like this with her name and put it in your garden maybe with a new plant or tree that you plant and some of her ashes.
Pet loss is so hard and the grief comes and goes. I like the photo book idea too. I've been planning on doing something like that too with memories we have of Bijou but haven't gotten around to it yet.
Photo taken at 16 months old
Something that was really helpful to my husband and I when we lost our bunny last year was to start writing down all our memories of him. We just used a simple notebook, and we kept it out in our living room with a pen, and everytime we found ourselves saying "Remember when Mr. Hop Hop would do..." or "I miss.... about him" we would grab the notebook and write it down. We did this for several weeks (maybe even a couple months?) after our bunny's death, and the result is this wonderful collection of all our happy/funny memories of our bunny.
Somehow it was helpful to write the memories down. It was comforting to know that now these memories would live on, and we wouldn't ever forget all our silly nicknames for him, or his funny behaviors, or food preferences, or the trouble he got into... it's all recorded, and that makes me happy. At the time, it felt very healing too... it helped us both, together, try and shift our focus from the loss and sadness and guilt to celebrating our time with him.
I'd love to eventually make a little photo memory book with all these memories incorporated (maybe written into the margins around the photos?). I haven't had time to put a fancy book together, but for us--just the process of collecting those memories in the weeks immediately following Mr. Hop Hop's death was the really important thing.
When I had to put my cat to sleep, he was at the vet and I didn't want his ashes back. I don't know why - I think it was just too hard for me to think that he was gone and that I was the one to tell the vet to put him to sleep. Anyway, at some point weeks later, I buried a picture of my cat by the other animals (my dad buried our pets in one corner of the yard). In my mind, I told him how much I loved him and missed him and how I hoped I gave him a good life and and how I was sorry I couldn't be there when he was put to sleep (they had to put him down during surgery). I asked the other animals, especially my bunny, to watch over my cat. Like I said, silly but it really helped me. In some little way, I did something similar whenever one of our pets died. It just felt like I had some closure. Don't get me wrong, I was still sad and cried but it helped.
You said that he's okay when you're around but he has a hard time when he's alone. Could you come home for lunch or even just make a plan to call each other at lunch time or some other time to break up the day for him?
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.