March 2009 Weddings
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Question.

This is going to be long.

We have these friends. They have a two year old and a two month old. Mom works, dad does for his dad ish. We'll call them A and B for fun.A is mom. *Note here that they said if we moved on a weekend they more than likely could help.

As of now, we have to plan to pay two rents for May, June, and July. We have to budget for time without pay if we don't find jobs to start right away. Oh, and my mom still doesn't have a job so we're going halfsies with my bro and paying $200 towards her house payment this month. We are on one income as DH no longer has a job- a new employee came and they wanted to invest time/money into him rather than DH since they knew he was leaving. *Note here that we do have savings which can cover the rent for at least one of the apartments the whole time.* 

Obviously we need a truck to move. Renting from Penske, which includes 3 days, unlimited miles, and a gas cost estimate it would be $234. So we'll say $250. 

 Well B told DH "pay me $200 and I'll get a trailer and help you move".

A few things. 1.) This trailer is not enclosed. My understanding is it has "walls" but no "roof". I don't know how comfortable I am with that. 2.) I calculated all the miles, 12 mpg, and gas cost (which obviously we would reimburse him* and it was $100. I know it's not much but I'd be more comfortable giving him $150.

It may sound petty if you will, but with B we'd only have a few hours. We'd have to start around 5 am, load the truck, drive (which takes about 2.5 hours) and be completely unloaded by 1 pm so he could get back before A goes to work at 2 *one hour drive from where we are moving to their home*. It seems like given time, it would cost more to have him help as opposed to renting the truck for 3 days and moving ourselves *which is what we did when we moved in together*. 

DH and I can't decide what to do. We'd love to help them out, and we have periodically ever since they had baby #1,  but we're trying to make sure we can pay our bills too. I want to help them but I want what is best for us at the same time (Selfish???)

What do you think?

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Re: Question.

  • Oh my goodness I am SO SORRY about the length :(
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  • I think you should do the move yourself.

    The number 1 issue would be time.  What if for some reason he couldn't get back in time to take care of his children before his wife went to work.  I'd use this as the excuse if you are uncomfortable.  With moving, you can definitely hit some bumps in the road and unexpected things which can take more time than planned.

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  • Do it yourself. You'll have more time, less stress.
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  • Agree with the others.  Do it yourself.
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  • I'm in agreement to do it yourself
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  • Wait, so this "friend" wants you to pay him to help you move? That's no friend in my book. Friends come over, help you move, and you buy pizza or subs and beer at the end of the day to "pay" them.

    Do it yourself. Can any of your family help? I'd also expect to spend between $100-150 in gas or more for the travel and refilling the truck up. Those suckers have ginormous gas tanks, and you have to refill it to whatever it was left at when you picked it up. 

  • I think doing it yourself it better.  I know you want to help them out but if helping them out causes more stress it's not worth it.

    Also, we help friends for free and many helped us.  Are there any people that could help and work for food?  That's what we do!

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  • Thanks everyone! Doing it ourselves is what we were more leaning towards.The bad thing about it is, the husband is going to get his feelings hurt if we say no, which I think is kinda funny. The friendship with this guy is quite high maintenance.

    When the wife said something to me about them helping it was more like "if you move on a weekend I can try to get off so we can help". I assumed the same thing many of you are suggesting, they would help, we'd pay for food n such during and at the end of the day. 

    My brothers will probably help us move, which would be better anyway because we won't have to worry about them complaining about how much their back hurts.

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